Why My Energy Bill Was $250 This Month
Me: ROB, WOULD YOU TURN THE DAMN LIGHT OFF IN YOUR OFFICE WHEN YOU'RE NOT IN THERE, PLEASE?!!
Rob: I can't!
ME: WHY?!?
Rob: How will my computer grow?
Sometimes my Rob quotes remind me of those "Kids say the darndest things" from Reader's Digest.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
How I Made An Ass of Myself Lately- Tuesday Edition
Nurse: Okay, drop your stuff in that chair and we'll get you on the scale.
Me: Okay
Nurse: Have you been getting a lot of movement?
(In my defense, she was just talking about getting on the scale. Train of thought, hello.)
Me: Oh. Yeah. I've been walking on the treadmill everyday.
Nurse: ....I meant from the baby.
Nurse: Okay, drop your stuff in that chair and we'll get you on the scale.
Me: Okay
Nurse: Have you been getting a lot of movement?
(In my defense, she was just talking about getting on the scale. Train of thought, hello.)
Me: Oh. Yeah. I've been walking on the treadmill everyday.
Nurse: ....I meant from the baby.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Calling All Choreographers
This May, Rob and I will have been married for five years. I've informed him that, for my anniversary present, I want him to learn the dance that they do at the end of Slumdog Millionaire and perform it for me. We'll be at a wedding that night, so maybe we can clear the dance floor and he can do it for everyone. He's going to need some help though. If you feel like you're a pretty good dancer, maybe you'd like to chip in and help out Rob. Go ahead and give him a call now.
This May, Rob and I will have been married for five years. I've informed him that, for my anniversary present, I want him to learn the dance that they do at the end of Slumdog Millionaire and perform it for me. We'll be at a wedding that night, so maybe we can clear the dance floor and he can do it for everyone. He's going to need some help though. If you feel like you're a pretty good dancer, maybe you'd like to chip in and help out Rob. Go ahead and give him a call now.
Friday, February 20, 2009
I Am a Disgraceful Blogger
I don't know where I've been. Out. Sorry. I'm back now.
1. Last night we play Boggle, which I bought on Ebay and got scammed over. Anyways, I don't think I've played Boggle in about a decade. Fun! For a while. Why do I play games with Rob? We're having a good old time until Rob realizes that he's losing. Then, he sets in motion the "Rob M. Win-Or-Die-Trying" method of play. This includes stringing random letters together and, when I ask about it, claiming that the word is a character from Lord of the Rings. Like "Oh yeah, Yuzbutu. He was a wood nymph." Which wouldn't work anyways, mind you, since you can't use proper names. Then he starts trying to use foreign words, which he knows is illegal.
Rob: I have 'pon'
Me: What is 'pon'?
Rob: Like that song? Hey Mr. DJ pon de replay?
Me: You can't use foreign words
Rob: Well, it's Americanized.
Me: Oh yeah? What does it mean?
Rob:.... shut up.
I'm am really, really hoping that someone is going to step in and teach our child good sportsmanship, because I am cutthroat competative and Rob is just a friggin LIAR.
2. About Boggle. I buy it on Ebay. The seller claims that it's new. Except that there's tape all over the box, the shakey-dome is cracked in two places, and it friggin says $1.49 on the side in sharpie, a'la garage sale-style. Liar, liar, liar! I want my $8.59 back!
3. Erin's eating a Spinach salad the other night at dinner and Sierra looks across the table and innocently asks "So. How are your leaves?"
4. We're painting the baby room today! Those of your who are familiar with my painting skills will look forward to seeing this, I'm sure.
5. That is all for now. I'm working on building my blogging muscles back up again.
I don't know where I've been. Out. Sorry. I'm back now.
1. Last night we play Boggle, which I bought on Ebay and got scammed over. Anyways, I don't think I've played Boggle in about a decade. Fun! For a while. Why do I play games with Rob? We're having a good old time until Rob realizes that he's losing. Then, he sets in motion the "Rob M. Win-Or-Die-Trying" method of play. This includes stringing random letters together and, when I ask about it, claiming that the word is a character from Lord of the Rings. Like "Oh yeah, Yuzbutu. He was a wood nymph." Which wouldn't work anyways, mind you, since you can't use proper names. Then he starts trying to use foreign words, which he knows is illegal.
Rob: I have 'pon'
Me: What is 'pon'?
Rob: Like that song? Hey Mr. DJ pon de replay?
Me: You can't use foreign words
Rob: Well, it's Americanized.
Me: Oh yeah? What does it mean?
Rob:.... shut up.
I'm am really, really hoping that someone is going to step in and teach our child good sportsmanship, because I am cutthroat competative and Rob is just a friggin LIAR.
2. About Boggle. I buy it on Ebay. The seller claims that it's new. Except that there's tape all over the box, the shakey-dome is cracked in two places, and it friggin says $1.49 on the side in sharpie, a'la garage sale-style. Liar, liar, liar! I want my $8.59 back!
3. Erin's eating a Spinach salad the other night at dinner and Sierra looks across the table and innocently asks "So. How are your leaves?"
4. We're painting the baby room today! Those of your who are familiar with my painting skills will look forward to seeing this, I'm sure.
5. That is all for now. I'm working on building my blogging muscles back up again.
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