Some Things...

1. Sierra is going to a birthday party for one of the kids in her class tonight, and I'm talking to Erin about it and I'm like "Oh god, is she so excited?" (Because 1) It's her first 'school friend' birthday party and 2) Sierra gets REALLY REALLY EXCITED about pretty much anything..). Erin says "She doesn't know about it." I'm like "What are you talking about?" and Erin says "I haven't told her about it. If I told her, that's all I'd ever hear about."
This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Sierra's not going to know about the birthday party until about five minutes before she gets there.

2. Erin was in a big meeting yesterday and the guy talking asked something to the effect of "What can we do to make this better". One guy raises his hand and says "I think we need to analyze the problem." Talker guy says "okay" and goes to write it on the board, but decides to abbreviate and writes "Anal. Problems" on the board. No one else seems to notice.

3. Today I go to this seminar about strategies to keep you writing after you graduate when you no longer have deadlines, etc. I can tell the speaker, pardon me, 'life coach', is cracked from the minute I get there, but I stay. My mistake. First she introduces herself. Her name is "Rahti". Oh, you think to yourself, what culture/background is that from?" No. It's not her birth name. Rahti got her name a few years ago when, in a low point in her life, she decided to join a cult. The cult leader chose the name for her. Later, she was actually kicked out of the cult. I ask you, who gets kicked out of a cult. No one. No one gets kicked out of a cult.
Rahti's memorable quotes include "So. How can we get past all this petty shit in this cess pool called life and keep writing?"
Also, the word "etcetera" does not seem to be in Rahti's vocabulary. Instead, she substitutes "NANANANANANANANA!" where most people would use 'etc.', for example, "You can't get discouraged, because then you stop writing, then you start questioning yourself, NANANNAANANANANANA!"
The breaking point, when I left was when she asked us to go around the room and say something nice about everyone, so that, when we're feeling low, we'll have some positives to bring ourselves up again. Now that could have been a good idea, if we even slightly knew the other people in the class. But.. we didn't. It was a big mix of alumni from all different years. What exactly are you supposed to say about someone you've never met? 'You have nice teeth'? And that's going to pull me up when I'm feeling low about my writing? "I can't write a good story, but I sure do have nice teeth."
Cracked.