It.
Is.
Hot.
F-ing Hot.
Moving on.
Lately Oprah is making me feel activist-y. Today she had Bill and Melinda Gates, who were talking about how our schools are in sad, sad shape and how we're going to be in big trouble in ten years, when nobody knows anything anymore. Here's their website
Speaking of activisty things, my family is running a 5K to raise money for breast cancer research. You can sponsor us, here's our site. If we meet our goal, Erin has agreed to let us cut her hair into a mullett.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Rob+Morphine= Best Friends Forever
So we went to the emergency room last night because it turns out that Rob has gallstones. That's not funny, though. What's funny is seeing Rob on meds. Because you get a little bit of medication in Rob and all the sudden he's acting like that drunk guy you find slouched over in the back of a frat party and start messing with. First, the nurse gives him something for nausea right into his I.V.
You can tell the instant it gets in his blood stream.
Rob: Is my head getting bigger? My head feels really big.
(read: Issss my HEAD ge-ing bigger? My HEAD feels really big.)
Nurse: Um.. no, your head looks pretty proportional to your body.
Rob: ....are you calling me fat?
Nurse: No, no! Your head looks fine.
Rob: Cause I'm not fat. I'm big boned.
Later, after they've given him morphine, they doctor comes in and wants to talk to him.
(2 side notes-
1. Seriously. The doctor was HOT. Sorry. Inappropriate to this story.)
2. Who gives someone Morphine and then wants
to talk?)
Rob took to the morphine REAAALLLY well.
So the doctor comes in and earlier we'd told the nurse that Rob's mom had had a heart attack a few years earlier, but apparently they misunderstood. So he comes in and says to Rob-
"So, I hear your mom died at a really young age."
I'm totally trying to let Rob answer him because I don't want to be that person who answers all the questions for the patient.
My mistake.
Rob says: "Yeah..."
Okay, Rob's mom is so not dead.
Then the doctor is like "Do you know what caused her heart attack? Was it high blood pressure?"
Rob says: "Yeeaahhhh.. shees really trying to work on that.."
Okay, at this point I have to step in and be like
"Um.. his mom's not dead."
Then the doctor's all embarrassed.
And Rob's fast asleep...
So we went to the emergency room last night because it turns out that Rob has gallstones. That's not funny, though. What's funny is seeing Rob on meds. Because you get a little bit of medication in Rob and all the sudden he's acting like that drunk guy you find slouched over in the back of a frat party and start messing with. First, the nurse gives him something for nausea right into his I.V.
You can tell the instant it gets in his blood stream.
Rob: Is my head getting bigger? My head feels really big.
(read: Issss my HEAD ge-ing bigger? My HEAD feels really big.)
Nurse: Um.. no, your head looks pretty proportional to your body.
Rob: ....are you calling me fat?
Nurse: No, no! Your head looks fine.
Rob: Cause I'm not fat. I'm big boned.
Later, after they've given him morphine, they doctor comes in and wants to talk to him.
(2 side notes-
1. Seriously. The doctor was HOT. Sorry. Inappropriate to this story.)
2. Who gives someone Morphine and then wants
to talk?)
Rob took to the morphine REAAALLLY well.
So the doctor comes in and earlier we'd told the nurse that Rob's mom had had a heart attack a few years earlier, but apparently they misunderstood. So he comes in and says to Rob-
"So, I hear your mom died at a really young age."
I'm totally trying to let Rob answer him because I don't want to be that person who answers all the questions for the patient.
My mistake.
Rob says: "Yeah..."
Okay, Rob's mom is so not dead.
Then the doctor is like "Do you know what caused her heart attack? Was it high blood pressure?"
Rob says: "Yeeaahhhh.. shees really trying to work on that.."
Okay, at this point I have to step in and be like
"Um.. his mom's not dead."
Then the doctor's all embarrassed.
And Rob's fast asleep...
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Confession: I heart Hall & Oates. Intensely.
Celebrity I would marry: Zach Braff.
Celebrity I would not marry: Colin Farrell.
Names I would not name a male child: Keith or Trevor.
Name I would name a male child: Keegan.
Name Rob will not name a male child: Keegan.
Things I am seriously not considering, despite evidence to the contrary: Marrying celebrities and having children.
Celebrity I would marry: Zach Braff.
Celebrity I would not marry: Colin Farrell.
Names I would not name a male child: Keith or Trevor.
Name I would name a male child: Keegan.
Name Rob will not name a male child: Keegan.
Things I am seriously not considering, despite evidence to the contrary: Marrying celebrities and having children.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The Secret World of Donkeys
Today I was on Petfinder.com again, pretending like I can afford a dog. There was a section for barnyard animals, so I thought I'd go and see what they had. Do you know they have rescue shelters for donkeys? They've got all kinds of rescued donkeys and horses on there. I also found this group called the Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue, and this is their mission statement-
Who We Are
Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue is operated by volunteers who are
committed to Donkeys and giving them a second chance, a
Turning Pointe, in their lives.
Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue became a reality in October 2004 when
an enthusiastic group of people got together and decided that many
nice donkeys were unwanted, unappreciated and often found
themselves in the meat pen at an auction.
We are a Michigan based non profit organization dedicated to the health
and welfare of miniature, standard and mammoth donkeys.
Some thoughts on that (and I am seriously not making fun of the donkey rescue people)-
1. Aside from petting zoos, have I ever even seen a donkey in Michigan?
2. Is there a donkey overpopulation problem?
3. I wonder what a mammoth donkey looks like.
And so, in light of this new information, I have decided to adopt a donkey instead of a jack russell.
Here's my question for you, though. Why are donkeys funny? When I read Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue is operated by volunteers who are committed to Donkeys and giving them a second chance, it makes me laugh. But if you put 'cat' in place of 'donkey', it wouldn't be funny.
Why?
Chew on that one, my friends, chew on that one.
Today I was on Petfinder.com again, pretending like I can afford a dog. There was a section for barnyard animals, so I thought I'd go and see what they had. Do you know they have rescue shelters for donkeys? They've got all kinds of rescued donkeys and horses on there. I also found this group called the Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue, and this is their mission statement-
Who We Are
Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue is operated by volunteers who are
committed to Donkeys and giving them a second chance, a
Turning Pointe, in their lives.
Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue became a reality in October 2004 when
an enthusiastic group of people got together and decided that many
nice donkeys were unwanted, unappreciated and often found
themselves in the meat pen at an auction.
We are a Michigan based non profit organization dedicated to the health
and welfare of miniature, standard and mammoth donkeys.
Some thoughts on that (and I am seriously not making fun of the donkey rescue people)-
1. Aside from petting zoos, have I ever even seen a donkey in Michigan?
2. Is there a donkey overpopulation problem?
3. I wonder what a mammoth donkey looks like.
And so, in light of this new information, I have decided to adopt a donkey instead of a jack russell.
Here's my question for you, though. Why are donkeys funny? When I read Turning Pointe Donkey Rescue is operated by volunteers who are committed to Donkeys and giving them a second chance, it makes me laugh. But if you put 'cat' in place of 'donkey', it wouldn't be funny.
Why?
Chew on that one, my friends, chew on that one.
Friday, July 14, 2006
My Awesome New Place and The Birds
Let's talk about my new apartment.
It.
Is.
Sweet.
Maybe two years or so ago, I wouldn't have been so impressed with it. But in my post-NY life, where I have just spent a year coughing up $900/mo. to live in a basement (Basement apt., no offense, I loved you but you weren't exactly.. luxurious), I feel like I have hit the freaking jackpot here.
My new apartment has...
1. A washer and dryer
2. A dishwasher
3. A HUMUNGO deck
4. A flipping FIREPLACE
5. Lots o'room
6. Parking right outside my door
7. Vaulted ceilings
8. Large, wonderful windows
My new apartment does not have...
1. crazy insomniac children living upstairs
2. the creepy serial killer mailman
3. evil people who put threatening notes on my car
4. Batboy living upstairs
And what's CRAZY about the whole thing is I'm paying 25% less!
Yay Michigan!
Speaking of the new apartment, I was looking for cool things to decorate it with, and I came across these birds.
What, you say, are these birds? These birds are gigantic colorforms! And you can put them up on your wall in a migratory formation of your choosing!
It's BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!!!
Here's the part where everyone rains on my parade.
Rob: "Laura. Those look like something you see at the dentist's office"
Min: Eye Roll. Min wouldn't even waste a sarcastic comment on my birds.
OH YEAH? OH YEAH? YOU DON'T LIKE MY BIRDS?? EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE THE BIRDS? THAT'S YOU, ROB! YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP AND LOOK AT THE CEILING AND THERE'RE GOING TO BE 100 COLORFORM BIRDS STARING DOWN AT YOU.
jerk.
Let's talk about my new apartment.
It.
Is.
Sweet.
Maybe two years or so ago, I wouldn't have been so impressed with it. But in my post-NY life, where I have just spent a year coughing up $900/mo. to live in a basement (Basement apt., no offense, I loved you but you weren't exactly.. luxurious), I feel like I have hit the freaking jackpot here.
My new apartment has...
1. A washer and dryer
2. A dishwasher
3. A HUMUNGO deck
4. A flipping FIREPLACE
5. Lots o'room
6. Parking right outside my door
7. Vaulted ceilings
8. Large, wonderful windows
My new apartment does not have...
1. crazy insomniac children living upstairs
2. the creepy serial killer mailman
3. evil people who put threatening notes on my car
4. Batboy living upstairs
And what's CRAZY about the whole thing is I'm paying 25% less!
Yay Michigan!
Speaking of the new apartment, I was looking for cool things to decorate it with, and I came across these birds.
What, you say, are these birds? These birds are gigantic colorforms! And you can put them up on your wall in a migratory formation of your choosing!
It's BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!!!
Here's the part where everyone rains on my parade.
Rob: "Laura. Those look like something you see at the dentist's office"
Min: Eye Roll. Min wouldn't even waste a sarcastic comment on my birds.
OH YEAH? OH YEAH? YOU DON'T LIKE MY BIRDS?? EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE THE BIRDS? THAT'S YOU, ROB! YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP AND LOOK AT THE CEILING AND THERE'RE GOING TO BE 100 COLORFORM BIRDS STARING DOWN AT YOU.
jerk.
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