Rob+Morphine= Best Friends Forever

So we went to the emergency room last night because it turns out that Rob has gallstones. That's not funny, though. What's funny is seeing Rob on meds. Because you get a little bit of medication in Rob and all the sudden he's acting like that drunk guy you find slouched over in the back of a frat party and start messing with. First, the nurse gives him something for nausea right into his I.V.
You can tell the instant it gets in his blood stream.
Rob: Is my head getting bigger? My head feels really big.
(read: Issss my HEAD ge-ing bigger? My HEAD feels really big.)
Nurse: Um.. no, your head looks pretty proportional to your body.
Rob: ....are you calling me fat?
Nurse: No, no! Your head looks fine.
Rob: Cause I'm not fat. I'm big boned.

Later, after they've given him morphine, they doctor comes in and wants to talk to him.
(2 side notes-
1. Seriously. The doctor was HOT. Sorry. Inappropriate to this story.)
2. Who gives someone Morphine and then wants
to talk?)
Rob took to the morphine REAAALLLY well.
So the doctor comes in and earlier we'd told the nurse that Rob's mom had had a heart attack a few years earlier, but apparently they misunderstood. So he comes in and says to Rob-
"So, I hear your mom died at a really young age."
I'm totally trying to let Rob answer him because I don't want to be that person who answers all the questions for the patient.
My mistake.
Rob says: "Yeah..."
Okay, Rob's mom is so not dead.
Then the doctor is like "Do you know what caused her heart attack? Was it high blood pressure?"
Rob says: "Yeeaahhhh.. shees really trying to work on that.."
Okay, at this point I have to step in and be like
"Um.. his mom's not dead."
Then the doctor's all embarrassed.
And Rob's fast asleep...