Pot

No, pot should not be legalized. Why? Because I think it's bad in some way? No. Because I think it's addictive or brain-addling or whatever? No. Honestly, I couldn't care less what you do with your brain. It shouldn't be legalized because I'm fricking sick of smelling it as it is.
Seriously, can you do something about that?
Did I mention that pot guy moved out last month? Yeah, but someone else in my building totally took up pot. Now, I will admit I know basically nothing about pot, but, after smelling new pothead's pot all the time, I'm thinking old pot guy was getting jacked. New guy's pot, while completely gross, still smells a lot better than old guy's pot.

I ordered my dog a sweater. She seemed cold.

Why I Hate Going to the Optometrist

1. "Is this lens better....flipflip....or is this lens better?"
Geez, man, I don't know.
Sometimes I think he's testing me and not even flipping them, so then I say that one is better than the other, but they're the same lens, and then he knows I'm a fraud.

2. Don't touch my eyelids.

3. The part where he gets the little eye telescope and moves all around my eyes like a crazy madscientist and I'm supposed to keep a straight face.

4. That DAMN PUFF OF AIR IN THE EYE. I keep telling them that, when I was a little kid, my optometrist at least had a eye-puffer with a picture of a tractor in a field inside, so I could distract myself while you blow air into my corneas.

5. You have to change the line of letters I read to you. Otherwise, I just memorize it.

6. I'm worried that I have bad breath the entire time.

7. The part at the end where I get lectured for wearing my contacts for a year at a time.

Avatar

Avatar Me says: Yup. Definately dead.
Yoda says: Hmph! Dead, he is!

Your Guide To Christmas Music and Thanksgiving Dinner

Best contemporary Christmas song:
God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman by Barenaked Ladies (minus S. Maclachlan, who bugs me)

Second best kind-of-contemporary:
What Christmas Means to Me My Love by Stevie Wonder

Also Good:
Funky, Funky Christmas by NKOTB (You KNOW Joey-Joe is ready! Jordan and Jon? Yeah! Come on! We gotta funky, funky Christmas going on!)
(Begrudgingly) Mariah Carey "All I Want For Christmas Is You"

Most hysterical Christmas lyric:
"Blessings from above!
God sends you his love!"
N'Sync "Merry Christmas"
("Oh, hey! I just saw God! He said to tell you, hi!")

Best Traditional Christmas Song:
Silver Bells
Carol of the Bells (though, I swear they're saying, "Oh, Hannaukah! Oh, Hannaukah!, which confuses me)

Avoid:
Boring stuff.

Best Thanksgiving Foods:
Stuffing
Pumpkin Pie

Worst Thanksgiving Foods:
Green Bean Casserole
Squash
Cranberries
Gravy
Other stuff Erin brings

I'm A Horrible Parent

Yesterday, we ran out of dog food, but it was too late (read: I was too lazy) to go to Petsmart, so I fed my dog a bunch of Milkbones instead.
She seemed okay with it.

Unacceptable

Yesterday, I was at the gym on the treadmill, so obviously I have to watch whatever's on the TVs. And so I see, for the first time ever, "I Love New York 2"
No.
This is unacceptable.
WHAT IS THIS CRAP? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Look at me, turning into an oldie.
Really though, what a massive waste of... everything.
I actually felt furious.

So I'm Not That Refined

(1) CDs, off the top of my head, that I can play all the way through without wanting to skip anything.
Barenaked Ladies "Rock Spectacle", stolen directly from Gordy
John Mellencamp's Greatest Hits (hmm... also stolen from Gordy)
Indigo Girls "Swamp Ophelia" (not Gordy's)
Garden State Soundtrack
Ani Difranco "Out of Range" (stolen from Sara)
Jack Johnson anything
Van Morrison's Greatest Hits

If I'm in a melodramatic mood:
Bright Eyes "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning"

Three songs that remind me of Sundays when I was a little kid and we drove to my Nana's every Sunday:
(1) Rich Girl by Hall and Oates
(2) Fire and Rain by James Taylor
(3) Operator by Jim Croce

Now, to be clear, there is no guarentee that I actually ever heard these songs on the way to my Nana's, but nonetheless. Which reminds me of this- Danny and I are talking about house buying and I tell him how much Gordy says they paid for their house, and Danny says, "No they didn't, they paid this much", then proceeds to tell me how much they paid, PLUS how much our old house sold for. To which I say:
(1) What the hell! You were 12! How do you remember that?!?
(2) What happened to all of my memories!?! I remember NOTHING about ANYTHING!
Someone stole my memories, Matrix-style. I think I took the blue pill on accident. Or the red pill. See, I can't even remember that part of the movie. Jerks!

(2) Today, I took my niece to see Disney's High School Musical Live at the Civic. Let's be honest, it was like the awesomest thing I've seen in a while. You may recall that a few weeks ago Rob and I walked out of MacBeth because we were bored. At High School Musical? Captivated. What that says about me, I don't care to speculate on, so I will move on.

(3) Oh, hey, we bought a house. Ha! How crazy is that?