Why I Hate Going to the Optometrist

1. "Is this lens better....flipflip....or is this lens better?"
Geez, man, I don't know.
Sometimes I think he's testing me and not even flipping them, so then I say that one is better than the other, but they're the same lens, and then he knows I'm a fraud.

2. Don't touch my eyelids.

3. The part where he gets the little eye telescope and moves all around my eyes like a crazy madscientist and I'm supposed to keep a straight face.

4. That DAMN PUFF OF AIR IN THE EYE. I keep telling them that, when I was a little kid, my optometrist at least had a eye-puffer with a picture of a tractor in a field inside, so I could distract myself while you blow air into my corneas.

5. You have to change the line of letters I read to you. Otherwise, I just memorize it.

6. I'm worried that I have bad breath the entire time.

7. The part at the end where I get lectured for wearing my contacts for a year at a time.