My Pick For Worst Song in Recent Memory

is "Loosen Up My Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls

Justification:

1. What it reminds me of is the bad jokes that people tell after Thanksgiving dinner, like "Man! I'm about to pop a button!" So then, Pussycat Dolls (WTF is a pussycat doll, by the way?), I picture you all as huge, fat men in overalls. It is a miracle that Weird Al Yankovic hasn't parodied this song yet.

2. How does one loosen a button? It isn't like a screw, my friend. Maybe that's your problem right there. Maybe it's not his fault at all, maybe you just don't know how to use buttons.

3. Lyric: "I'm a sexy mama"
You should know that no one says this with a straight face. Ever.

4. Lyric: "You've been saying all the right things all night long
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off"
Again, you're a fat man with overalls, but now you sound like you have limited mobility, which makes me feel like you're also old. Probably you have a cane. That's sexy. Sexy like a sexy mama.

5. Lyric: "You say you're a big boy
But I can't agree
'Cause the love you said you had
Ain't been put on me"
Where to even start? First, "you're a big boy"? There is something creepy and vaguely pedophile-ish about your word choices.
Second, "put on me"? Now I picture your love as a giant anvil in a road runner cartoon.

6. Lastly, I saw you performing on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. How come only one of the five of you sing? What's wrong, other four? (Pussy) Cat got your tongues? I have this feeling the rest of you can't sing. To which I say, how hard is it to find four other attractive girls who can dance and also sing? I don't think it's that hard. It seems like there are a lot of dancer/singers out there.

Banished.