If you're one of my family members, you've heard these stories. Fair warning....

1. Once upon a time Rob went to Disney World, because he was a band geek and his HS band was playing in the Disney parade.

side note: If you think about it, that Disney parade is really friggin creepy. Every day? Every day you have a friggin parade like it's a holiday? There is something really surreal and Twilight-Zoney about that. The two movies that come to mind are The Shining and A Clockwork Orange. I can't exactly explain what I mean, but you'll notice that both of those movies involve gory death, so maybe you get my point.

Anyhow, they go to Disney World. And there's this quartet there, I imagine somewhere along the thoroughfare (I imagine this because I've never been to Disney World, but it seems like it would have a thoroughfare), and it's these four women who sing "Mr. Sandman". And the big exciting thing is, they choose someone from the audience who gets to do the 'Yeeeesssssss" part (you know.."Mr. Sandman! Yeeeeeessssssss Bring me a dream!". Anyways, of course they pick Rob. So he's getting all ready and preparing for his part, and when it's time, the guy points the microphone at him... and Rob says "Thank you"
Like this:
Du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du
"Mr. Sandman!"
"Thank you"
"Bring me a dream!"

I don't know, I guess he got nervous or something. Can't you just see everyone's face though? Can't you see Rob's really confused face like, "why the hell did I just say thank you?"
I think I like this story so much because it's exactly the type of thing I would do.

2. Our across the street neighbor Mary comes over the other day with this huge pineapple upside down sheet cake. We're all "Oh, thanks Mary, that was so nice!", and she says "Oh, well, I remember that it's your favorite, so I thought I'd better make it and bring it over for you."
Chit chat, chit chat, blah blah.
She leaves and Rob turns to me and says "I didn't know pineapple upside down cake was your favorite.."
And I'm like "... I thought she was talking to you."
We're both pretty curious who that cake was actually for, but it's pretty good. Almost good enough to be my favorite.

I'm An Idiot and The Pirate Window

You know how when you're waiting for something- like good news, say- every time the phone rings you think it's whatever you're waiting for? So, every time my phone rings the past week or so, I think "oh! maybe Brady's about to be born!"
Then I remember that I'm the one having the baby, and would probably not be getting a call from someone telling me I'm in labor.

In the meantime, while I'm waiting for myself to call myself and tell me I'm in labor, I've been buying baby clothes on eBay. Awesome deals! But this is my pet peeve (there's always got to be a pet peeve, right? I can't just be happy..): Ralph Lauren/Burberry/Roca Wear/Sean John/Nike baby clothes. Someone is going to have to explain to me:
1. Why they even MAKE designer baby clothes
2. Why people BUY designer baby clothes.

What are you thinking?? They're BABIES. They mess stuff up. They can't control their drool!! They grow out of clothing in like 10 seconds! And yet, on eBay, people bid on this stuff like CRAZY! There was a baby Burberry shirt going for $50 yesterday. I just can't figure out why you would even care if your baby was wearing Burberry. Babies are supposed to wear cute stuff, not trendy stuff. The other day I bought a green onesie with a pirate on it saying "arrgh!" and some striped pants to match. The whole thing cost me $1 at the baby resale shop. Here's the thing: people have their whole lives to wear Burberry. But you can only get away with putting a kid in a pirate onesie for a very limited window of time. It's called the Pirate Window. See, right now, kids look absolutely adorable in hats with bear ears attached. Not too many years down the road, however, wearing clothing with bear ears is going to be your first sign of some serious social maladjustments. Embrace the bear ears. Do not waste the Pirate Window on friggin Burberry.