Just bought Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I'm going to read it and love it and I don't care if the only other people I can discuss it with are 13.
This is the blog of my friend Alex who is also in the fiction program. The idea is, he was hired to watch digital cable and blog about it. Read it and leave comments, he updates it all the time..

Fair Warning

Ninjas
from McSweeneys

Tragically, the deadliest silent killer in America is one you can do precious little about. The ninja is trained from childhood, after the elders have determined the potential candidate possesses outstanding physical gifts.

Testing for sufficient physical rigor involves trials such as the nonstop 50-mile run. In order to keep a sufficient pace, the ninja applicant is to run at a speed sufficient to keep a mat from slipping off his chest.

Once the strongest applicants are selected, usually by the age of 4, they are given 15 years of intense physical, mental, and spiritual training.

Now when we say silent, we mean silent. Training for the ninja involves mastering such skills as walking on twigs without breaking a single one and moving in on an opponent while carrying an armful of bells. Even if you are always looking over your shoulder, which is advised, the mature ninja will be able to catch you off-guard.

What can you do to stay proactive? Experts have three recommendations, each of which is accompanied by the standard ninja-precaution caveat: It probably won't work.

First, hire a decoy. A good decoy will make your daily existence safer by performing activities such as taking the direct route to your workplace while you take a new, secretive route each day. If you are unable to afford a decoy, a mannequin designed to resemble you will do in a pinch, at least for things like "sleeping" in bed while you hide in the closet. But what, exactly, are you saving your money for?

Second, move. The ninjas know where you live. You may buy some time if you move out of town, as in yesterday.

Third, run! It is too late. The decoy resembles you no more. The ninjas have found where you live. Perhaps you could set a place mat on your chest and run so fast that it doesn't move an inch because of your bullet-train-grade velocity. There is a slight possibility that your ninja isn't going to be able to keep up, once you pass the 50-mile point. Good luck with that.

Already on the run? Excellent. Stay healthy.

Current Mood:  tired
Currently Playing:  Take the Money and Run, Steve Miller Band

A few things of note:
*I got my car washed today for the first time in a year. It's shiny and sparkly and they put air in my tires too.
*Ode to No Bake Cookies by Laura
Oh, mysterious no bakes
how does one achieve your oat-y greatness?
I love you so much and
yet
I no-bake you and you
no-harden
*New apartment in T minus eleven days
*Old lady #1 spoke to a friend who's going away for three weeks and now I'm also housesitting for Old Lady #2
*Actual quote from Old Lady #2- "You can come by and talk to me any time next week. I'll be at home pretty much all week because Wimbledon is on, you know."
*Had a barbeque with lots of other fiction program grad students last night and had a great great time.
*A new segment, called Great ideas by my sister Erin-
-"I think we should take all the money we have and get a time machine and go back in time to live, because if we had as much money back then as we do now, we'd be rich."
*Went garage saling with Rob-bot Saturday and bought this desk thing for $7, which we are both in love with now. Picture to follow.
*Went to an estate sale and it was pretty apparent that the woman who had lived there had been in love with Nutcrackers. Nutcracker salt and pepper shakers, nutcracker wooden cut outs, nutcracker candles, a huge nutcracker christmas light thing for the front yard. It crossed the line when I walked into the living room and there was a seven foot wooden nutcracker as big around as a tree.
Rob and I leaving the house-
Me: Woah. What the hell was up with the Nutcrackers?
Rob: What nutcrackers?
Me: Rob! That woman's entire house was filled with nutcrackers!@!
Rob: I didn't see any nutcrackers.
*Going to see Batman Begins now.

DID RAY GET SACKED???

Today I get a memo under my door "We are happy to announce the appointment of Frank Suchandsuch to the position of Building Superintendent. We would also like to thank Ray for his years of service and wish him luck in his future endeavors."
Do you think Ray got fired?? Who fires Ray?

Here's a fun game Rob and I played last night. If you want to vote for my plate, feel free to say so.

Current Mood:  Packing up and Movin' Out
Currently Playing:  Well we're movin on u-up. To the East siy-yide. To a dee-lux apartment. In the sky-yi-yi!

WERE MOVING!!

Hooray!! So we're not moving to the apartment mentioned in the previous post, as it is very very tiny and too small for two people. But we found another apartment about a half mile from that one- It's a one bedroom in Bronxville and we really like it and it's a really cool location, walking distance to everything and I can't wait.
Moving Date: July 1st.

Current Mood:  My preeeecious. Smeagle wants it!
Currently Playing:  "Chariot" Gavin DeGraw. Okay, it's not really playing, I'm at work. But I'm singing it in my head.

I want this apartment like a crazy person.
I was all resigned to the fact that we were going to stay in our apartment with the crappy parking and the too-far-awayness. But then I saw this on the housing webboard.

Bronxville. Two graduate students in the heart of Bronxville are looking for a roommate. The apartment is a spacious 3-bedroom, a ten minute walk from campus and one minute from Metro North. It has hardwood floors and a nice living room/dining area. Both of us (one guy, one woman) are second year students in the fiction program, and we are looking for a generally laid back, friendly person to live with.

I want this apartment like a crazy person.
Okay, first of all, the other two people are both grad students that I know and are very nice. Second of all, this apartment is right in downtown Bronxville, right over the bar that we always go to, and has these big gorgeous windows and I could just walk back and forth to school, because it's so close I can see the freaking school from there. Okay, it's not that close. But it's close. Third of all, it would be nice to live with other people, non-90 year old people. Also, free parking. FREEFREEFREEFREEFREEFREE.

Also, I got a mini-housesitting job this summer. So the lady whose dog I walk is going away to the summer house she owns in New Hampshire (of COURSE she owns a summer house in New Hampshire. By the way, I met the housekeeper the other day. Current people on this womans payroll- 1 dog walker, 1 gardner, 1 housekeeper. Current people on my payroll... 0) for two weeks and she wants me to stay in her house. Furthermore, she wants to pay me to stay in her house for two weeks and swim in her swimming pool and lay around in her central air filled house. Um. Okay. Go ahead and pay me for that. I have to admit, there is something a little bit wierd about living in someone else's house, but I'm willing to work past that. If you want me, I'll be in the pool with my water wings and my goggles. Maybe she has a grill...

Today it's just me in the office. New York has this 'summer hours' thing (maybe it's not a new york thing, but i've never heard of it anywhere else...) where you come in a half hour early mon-fri and then you get out at 1pm on friday. Except me, I stay and answer the phone. I'm okay with that. It's just me and I don't really do anything and I dont have to talk to anyone. Kind of like Joe's job. :)

Last night we went out to celebrate Rob's bday- we couldn't go out on his actual bday because he had a big interview the next day and he had lots of reading to do. But last night we went with Joe and Alissa to the Cheesecake Factory. It was the first time I've ever been and it was really good. Except I ate too much bread and then I was way too full to eat any cheesecake, except for a few bites of Rob's, which he didn't really appreciate.

After work.. there will be Target. Lots and lots of Target.

This is funny.

Current Mood: exuberant
Currently Playing: Everybody Walk the Dinosaur

Laura Quimby, Age 8

There was this YA novel that I read when I was like 13, and it was about this pre-teen girl who went to work at this old stodgy woman's house for extra money for the summer- I think it was Are You There God, It's Me Margaret? Whatever it was, I'm now living it. I took this extra little mini-job.. This woman who lives like 2 min. from SLC needs someone to come walk her dog for an hour mon-fri, so I'm going on my lunch hour and walking her dog. You may be saying to yourself "Laura. You don't like animals", and you're right, but this woman is giving me $10 a day to come and walk for an hour. It doesn't sound like much, but it's basically an extra $200 a month to go out and take a walk. So, anyhow, I should say that she's really really nice, but she retains certain old woman qualities that you can't really blame her for.
First of all, she seems to think my name is Allison.
Conversation today:
"Oh, Hi Allison."
"Hi." (I thought maybe it would pass..)
(Says to dog) "Jenny, this is Allison"
"No, Laura."
"Oh, right, Laura,sorry. I was just at physical therapy, and my therapist's name is Allison, sorry."
Time Lapse- 2 seconds.
"Okay, Allison, let me show you how to put her collar on."

Second- She has stodgy old woman ways
Conversation this evening:
"Hi, Mrs. C, this is your dog walker, Laura"
"Oh, hello."
"Hi, I was wondering- tomorrow we have this big project at work and I'm not supposed to take a lunch, do you think I could walk the dog before work?"
"Well, Laura, what my dog needs is a walk in the middle of the day. But if you can't do it tomorrow, I could just ask my gardner to do it."
(Lady, it's one day. Just one. For extenuating circumstances.)
Which leads me to number three.. the lady has money.

My gardner? Oh course there's a gardner.
Other things she said to me today-
"Sorry I'm late. Do you know that the valet parking at the hospital today took an entire half hour? I couldn't believe it."
"If you see a truck when you come back, it's okay. I'm having all of my furniture reupholstered and delivered."
and just in case you missed it...
"If you can't do it tomorrow afternoon, I can just ask the gardner to do it..."

I have to say though,it's a pretty sweet job. I have my little Harry Potter book on CD that I listen to and I just walk around the neighborhood and look at the enormous houses...

And finally, something Rob said tonight that I'd like to share-
"I feel it's my duty to bring Crunk to the people."- Rob MacInnis

Current Mood:  MMM.. wine. In tiny pre-packaged, individual-sized, mini-bottles, no less...
Currently Playing: Little ditty.. 'bout Jack and Di-A-Anne.

My Only Love Sprung From My Only Hate
I've been eating a lot of blueberry muffins lately. The Stop and Shop by us has these lowfat blueberry muffins that you would THINK would be gross, due to their lowfat, no-fun nature, but you would be oh-so-wrong. They're all doughy and wonderful. And they give me acid reflux. Exactly what part of a blueberry muffin would give you acid reflux? I dont know. But they do. Why, oh why, does everything I love not want to be my friend?
Joe is graduating from Film School tomorrow, and his final film project is up on his site, go here and see it.
Also, it's Erin Carriere's bday. Soy yo, Erin, happy bday. You're old just like me now. Give me a call, we'll go to Bingo together.