It's becoming clear that I did something wrong. If I did something wrong to you, I am sorry. Please take your little voodoo pins out of my voodoo stomach. Seriously, truce.
The following things have happened to me:
(1)Passengers side window of my car shattered while being lowered. Now I'm one of those people you see driving around with the plastic over their window and you think to yourself, "Seriously, why don't they get that fixed?"
THEY DON'T GET IT FIXED BECAUSE NO ONE CAN HAVE THE GLASS IN UNTIL TUESDAY MORNING, OKAY?

(2) Had to have a TB test today and literally almost passed out. Nurse guy thought I was insane. I had to lay down. We chatted for a while. He was nice. Seriously, though, if you've ever had a TB test, you know that there is absolutely no pain involved. It's completely in my head.

(3) Got stuck pulling into my driveway. This, of course, is my fault for not shoveling my driveway. But nonetheless. Had to get out, get my shovel, and dig myself out of my own driveway. Awesome.

Dear Student Loan Lender

If you think that I haven't noticed that I pay every month and yet my principal never goes down, you are incorrect.

I am on to you.
You lent me a lot of money to make my brain big, and now I'm going to use my big brain to expose your little scheme.
Be warned.

Laura's Super Duper Foolproof Plan to Prevent the Recession, But Please Keep In Mind That She Has Basically No Understanding Of Anything Budget/Fiscally Related.

What if they gave people those rebates that they're talking about, but instead of sending them checks, they sent the rebate loaded onto a DEBIT CARD (like those Visa gift cards you can get), so that people couldn't save the money, they would have to spend it. YES? YES? WHAT? I'M A POLITICAL GENIUS? I thought so, too.

10 Reasons I Hate Subbing In Elementary Schools

10. Can I go to the bathroom?
9. Can I sharpen my pencil?
8. Why not? Whynotwhynotwhynotwhynotwhynotwhynot?
7. She got to read more than I did
6. No fair
5. That's not how Mrs. XYZ does it
4. Why do your 'n's look like 'h's?
3. He/she called me...
2. NO! I'M AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE! I'M THE SPECIAL PERSON TODAY. (I loathe whoever thought up the special person thing. Whenever I'm subbing the most obnoxious kid in class is always the special person.)

1. Really, though, I mostly hate it because in the back of my mind, I know that I really don't know a lot of this stuff, particularly the math and science, and hell if I remember who Marco Polo was and what he did, and I know, I just KNOW, that I'm going to caught by them eventually.

Yesterday, I went and got my legit Kalamazoo Public Library card reinstated and I seriously feel like I'm so lucky. Libraries are awesome, it's like all this stuff for free. Minus all the fines I end up paying.

P.S. I'm so excited about Lost starting next week I might throw up.

Answer or I'm never giving you another survey again.

Top three songs that remind you of high school and/or middle school and a story behind at least one of them.

Hooray!

Since that last post, the "other people" have become official. Probably my blog is what did it.

Sara and Ryan are getting married! Hooray!

Clearly, this summer is the cool summer to get married.

On the non-marriage-related topics:

(1) My teeth got to talking to the rest of my body and now the whole thing is revolting against me. Yesterday I was doubled over in bed all day because my ulcer made a sneaky comeback. Then today, I get all dressed and ready to go to the laundromat (Laura, didn't you just buy a new washer and dryer? Yes, shut up, I don't want to talk about it), I get in the car and start driving, and I CANT OPEN MY EYES. I don't know what the crap that's all about, but all the sudden my eyes are ultra-sensitive to light. I got a mile from my house and had to turn around, and basically almost crashed on the way home, as I tried to pry open my eyes and wipe away all the tears so I could see the road. My eyes are watering just thinking about it.
OKAY TEETH, YOU WIN, ALRIGHT?!?! I'LL FREAKING FLOSS!!!
I could replace you at any time with some nice dentures, FYI.

(2) One last primary thing, and then I'll stop talking about it for at least a week, I swear.
I don't like Mitt Romney either. Stop voting for him.
Your choices are Barack or Hillary. If you must vote for a Republican, you may vote for McCain, I guess.
That's it.
It's good that I don't run a country, because it's clear that I would be one of those dictators that feels that they know what's best for the country and would just take away all their choices. I'd be Castro. And what's worse is, I'm only mildly informed.

Why the flip are people so on fire for Ron Paul?
Dude gives me the shivers.
Not sure why, just a feeling.
I'd like to get a yard sign. BarackorHillary?BarackorHillary?BarackorHillary? Oh screw it, I'm going to get a Ron Paul sign!

I realized today that I haven't put any house pictures up yet. But our camera battery is dead, we can't find the charger, and you have to have the camera on to upload pictures. So there you have it. That camera is more trouble than it's worth.
Major house improvements, thus far:
All windows, with the exception of the kitchen, have shades up. No more peep show.
Yesterday, I put up a shelf. The process of using a stud finder continues to ellude me. I drill at random.
My office is amazing. Writing= in full swing. For me. More of a leisurely lacksadasical drift compared to others.

Lola's List of Looking Forward To:
*Really looking forward to Run Camp, actually. Someone needs to get my butt in gear. I'm doing a marathon in the fall. Possibly through the Redwoods.
*WEDDINGS!! Lots of weddings!! Jon and Rebecca, Joe and Erin. Also, some other weddings.
*Summer. I have a back yard and a hammock. Soon I will have a vegetable garden. Then my plan will be complete.
*Going to D.C. to see Erin graduate in April. Me+airplanes+top secret academies= love
*I don't usually get all bent out of shape about movies (except Harry Potter), but I cannot WAIT to see both Vantage Point and Stop Loss.
*They're doing "Assassins" @ the Whole Art Theatre in Kzoo. That will be fun.


I realize that John Mellencamp probably already has a fan club and a fan club president, but I'm thinking of planning a coup. I really feel that I am the #1 John Mellencamp fan. He's always really involved in the presidential campaigns, so I looked up who he was supporting today. It wasn't either of the people that I'm supporting. And I thought for a second about changing, before I realized that was the worst possible reason to change an opinion.

A hot dog is delicious all on its own, but what really makes a hot dog delicious is when you wrap it in something. For instance, a month or so ago, Joe P. and I were at the mall and they were giving out samples of hot dogs wrapped in soft pretzel. It was amazing.

On Monday, I was waiting for my class to start, so I went over to the Einstein Bros. bagel place on campus. I don't think we have very many Einstein Bros. in Michigan, or at least I've never seen any, but it reminded me of last spring when I went to visit Lily in St. Louis and had a hot dog wrapped in a bagel. Also delicious.

This time, though, I just had some Chicken Noodle soup. Because hot dogs wrapped in miscellaneous carbs may be delicious, but they are almost never healthy, just to warn you.

Engagement Pictures!
Okay, let's be honest. Some of my lighting sucks. That's 1/4 because the light was bad and 3/4 because I'm bad with the technical stuff. I'm taking a KVCC class this semester to re-learn how to do that stuff. Plus, that's what Rob McPhotoshop is for. Nonetheless, these are pretty cute. Here are a few of my favs:

And I guess that's why they call it the blues!
TIME ON MY HANDS!
Could be time spent with you-oo!

Good song.

Took Erin and Joe's engagement pictures today and I'm super excited about getting them back. Getting them back because, in the move, Rob and I seem to have lost the charger for the digital camera, so I took all the pictures with an actual film camera* (8 rolls!). Which I'm far more comfortable with than a digital camera anyways. Who gets that digital camera focus thing? Not me. Anticipated favorite: went to the Kalamazoo Library, stole a book cart and took pictures of Joe pushing Erin around through the stacks. Classily, though. It's going to be awesome. Don't hate on my pictures.

I'm taking a photography class @ KVCC this semester, and this time I'm actually going to pay attention when they talk about aperature, shutter speed and ISO. I swear.

*actual film camera donated by Gordy. His phrase was "borrowed from" but, after 6 years, "donated by" is probably more appropriate.

How to Ruin Your Work Ethic

What will ruin you is having one night class and one day class. Period. This leaves Mon-Thur all day, plus the weekend for doing nothing. I'm not really doing nothing. I'm writing, I'm reading, I'm doing work for my classes. I'm painting the trim in my house so I can take the blue tape off of everything so Rob doesn't kill me. But I'm doing it at a leisurely pace and stopping at random times to enjoy a delicious cup of Jello fat-free vanilla pudding.

But that has to end now. Turns out cutting your class load in half also cuts your income in half. I was never good at math, but I guess I should have realized. Blah. Had one interview today, one on Monday. And there's always subbing...
Really, though, the prospect of getting up at an actual time and doing something actual actually makes me feel sick. You go downhill really fast. I have always worked and I've worked many 9-5s. There was one semester where I worked two jobs, a full-time and a part-time. But a few weeks of this and I'm feeling all entitled to my time. What do you mean you want me there at a certain time?

9 True Statements

(1) My teeth hate me and they're all planning to fall out to get me back for not flossing.
(2) I am excited about the NH primaries. Proof that I'm legitimately old.
(3) John McCain is 75 years old (75!). Or maybe he's 71 and I added the four years to find out how old he would be at the next elections (71!). That's pretty old to be president. This guy they were interviewing on NPR today said "I don't think he's too old to be president this time, but I wouldn't recommend a second term." Really. 71-75 are the crucial four years? I strip your right to vote. Be gone.
(4) Absolute best part of taking a college class: getting the syllabus. It's like your entire semester laid out for you, looking all clean and easy. Ha. Still, though, love the syllabus.
(5) My dog will eat anything. ANYTHING. Bet me. No don't. I don't want to clean it up.
(6) Heather got me some white wine for my bday and it is uber good.
(7) The other day I took Penny on a walk and when I got up to Water Street, I blew my nose and my nose.. piercing (I keep wanting to say 'ring', but I would never put an actual ring in my nose) came all discombobulated and I had to walk home with it all messed up, the stud part sticking out of my nose because if I tried to fix it without a mirror, I would have just torn it out on accident. And I thought about how hard my dad would have been laughing at me if he had seen it.
(8) #1 on my list of #1s? Reeses Snacksters. 100 calories! Peanut Butter goodness!
(9) Just finished this book Open House by Elizabeth Berg that I bought for a quarter at a library sale. Not good. And yet, it was a New York Times Bestseller. This makes me simultaneously mad and hopeful.

That's Right! I Knew They Loved Me All Along!!

No I didn't. I got my evaluations back from my first semester students today. All during Christmas break I went back and forth about whether or not I should even read them. You know that I'm too nosy to not read them though. So I did. They were so... positive. One kid even called me 'entertaining'. I never felt entertaining. Not once all semester.

Okay, yeah, I'm being a Beah, but seriously?

Girl at Beaners: Hi! How's your day going??
Me at 9am:... fine.
Girl at Beaners: Did anything exciting happen yet??

Verbatim.

Well, gee golly, not yet, but who knows what the day holds! Maybe peppermint ice cream! Or ponies!

I think those people snort espresso beans in the back.
Also, I've turned into a real sarcastic bitch, but I say embrace who you are.

Here I Am

It's been like a decade or so. I'm back now. You would think that I would have a lot to say, being that I haven't been on here for a few weeks, but... no. Except that my birthday was few days ago. I always get depressed on my birthday, because it's supposed to be so fun, but birthdays always end up being just another day. So I got my nose pierced to make myself feel better.

Here's what I've learned about the suburbs so far: You have to shovel your driveway a lot. Like, down to the asphalt. Otherwise, you're a bad homeowner.
I shoveled it once, and then I said screw that.

Today I've been wondering a great deal about the song "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"
These are the lyrics, as I remember them:
We both lie silent and still in the dead of the night
We lie close together, but we're miles apart inside
Was it something I said, Something I did
Did my words not come out right?
Oh I tried not to hurt you
Oh I tried
But I guess that's why they say
Every rose has it's thorn
blahblahblah.

Who's supposed to be the rose? Him or her? If he hurt her, shouldn't he be the rose (and therefore, have the thorn)? I find it odd that a guy would call himself a rose. But it doesn't make sense otherwise.
On top of that, the next two analogies (Just like every night has it's dawn/ Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song), are not the same thing as "Every rose has it's thorn". They're not even close. If you were taking the SAT and the question was "Rose is to thorn as" and you chose "night is to dawn", you would get it WRONG WRONG WRONG.
I pass the burden of this conundrum on to you.