Fiction Eye for the Tough Guy

What the hell is it with the guys around here? I cannot go and sit in any type of restaurant setting without hearing someone talking about 'how they are', or hearing a sentence that starts out 'I'm the kind of guy who..'. My favorite was (overheard in a diner)
"Look, I'm the kinda guy, you make a mistake, but no one gets hurt? I'm alright with you. But you make a mistake and one of my kids gets hurt? I'm gonna stab you through the heart 24 times with a steak knife."
The whole 'i'm the kinda guy' thing, yeah, annoying. But what really concerns me is the specifics of this guy. He's not going to 'kill you', he's not going to 'punch you in the face', he's going to stab you with a steak knife 24 times in the heart. The eerie specifics of this lead me to believe one of two things- he has either
A. Sat around thinking "hmm.. someone hurts my kid, what am I gonna do? I gotta be prepared. I'm gonna stab him. But with what? How about an ice pick. Nah, probably won't be able to find one. A razor blade? Nah, not big enough. How about a steak knife? Yeah, all those serated edges, that'll hurt. And I'm gonna do it 24 times, cause that was my pops number on the pick up baseball team, and I'll be like 'yo, this one is for you, pops."
B. Actually stabbed someone, in the heart, and counted how many times he did it.

Yesterday, I overheard a first date. Painful. It made me want to get up and move to another table because I couldn't stand the awkwardness. After explaining to his date that he was "The kind of guy, who, you know, one night I'll be at home relaxing and I won't want to go anywhere, but then the next night you can call me at 2 in the mornin and be like, hey, Mike, we're in the city just gettin hammered and I'll be like "hey, I'll be on the next train*. I'm like, up for anything, I'm all over the place."
*(note- this was a retarded thing to say, since there are no trains from Bronxville to the city at 2am)
He then proceeded to tell her how he "almost got robbed this one time"
"So like, I'm up in Northern New York and I'm getting something from this convenience store by the hotel, and these two guys they come up to me by the register and they're like "Hey, you're not from around here, are you?" and I'm like "No", and then they start following me, back to the hotel, but I'm not really worried about it. And then one of them is like "Hey, aren't you afraid we're gonna rob you?" and I'm like "you wouldn't be that stupid."...pause...laugh.."they're like expecting me to be all worried and I'm like, "You wouldn't be that stupid" (he told her that part twice, for emphasis..). So then I get to the hotel and they walk in behind me and the desk clerk says "are these guys with you?" and I'm like "No, I never seen them before." and then all the sudden they're gone.

Hold up.

That's the time you almost got robbed? At what point during that story were you almost getting robbed? And seriously, the hotel clerk scared them off? They must have been seriously tough.
Here's what I'm thinking. Guy 1 needs to talk to Guy 2, give him some story/how he is pointers. Guy 2 needs some steak knives in that story if he wants some girl to go for it. Chicks dig steak knives.