Please Talk Me Out Of This

So, I get an email from Martin, who I lived with in Ireland. He's getting married (in Dublin) on April 29th and he asked me to come. So I'm like, no way can I do that, but being the way that I am, I can't leave well enough alone and I decide to just see how much a ticket would be, hypothetically and all. $440! It cost me $250 to fly to Michigan but I can fly across the freaking ocean and back for $440?!?!
If you could leave comments about why exactly this is a very bad idea, a very VERY bad idea, that would be very helpful.
No worries, I'm sure Rob will be happy to talk me out of it real fast.

Surprise, I'm a Man.

So, I'm reading Alex's blog today, and he's talking about this. It's called MyHeritage.com and you go there and upload a picture of yourself and it will do a 'Face Scan' (a highly technical process, I'm sure) and then tell you what celebrity you look like. Being someone who loves to waste time, I think SWEET! So I upload a picture. Who do you think I come back as?
David. Schwimmer.
Apparently, I look like a man. And not a particularly attractive man, either.
So I think it's hilarious and then I upload pictures of my sister and my mom.
WE ALL COME BACK AS MEN.
Um.. is someone not telling us something?
Seriously, it would have been easier to take if you had just told us earlier.

FYI: Things That Are Not Funny
From the Department of Get a Clue

Attention. The following things are not funny.

1. Monkeys, Chimps, Whatever.
Dress them up, give them bananas, make them screech, it does not matter, no matter what you do with a chimp/monkey/whatever, you will not succeed in making them funny, you'll just give me that creepy uneasy feeling.

2. Talking Babies
Again, not funny.

3. Farting/Burping
Embarrassed laugh acceptable. "Wow, that was hilarious" laugh, not okay.

4. This Joke My Mom Got On Her Popsicle Stick Today
Q: How did the soldier get his tank to fit inside his house?
A: It was a fish tank.

Q: How lame was that joke?
A: REALLY REALLY LAME.

Who Says You Can Never Go Home Again?

Remember how you came home from college at the end of the year and you were like "Oh my God, I could never live at home again."? Right. Apparently that goes away after a while. I've been home for the past two weeks on Spring Break. You'd think by the end of the two weeks I would be like "Ooooookay, I am so ready to go home now." No. Not so much. I'm scared that I could live with my parents for the rest of my life and not mind at all. Provided that I didn't have to get a job, of course.
Today, for instance. Woke up around 8ish. Made some oatmeal. Watched Good Morning America with my dad. Organized my mom's pictures into photo albums. My dad's coming home in a little while and we're going to make grilled cheese for lunch. Seriously, what more could you possibly want than a little grilled cheese and a little Good Morning America. Nothing, I tell you, nothing.

Quotes from my mom...

"Back when I was taking classes for my Master's degree, I took this course that had to do with guided imagery for recovering patients. You were supposed to envision a squirrel, and you were supposed to imagine him going through your body eating all of the cancer. But... my squirrel always ran away."

My Brush With Greatness

So, I'm always complaining because it seems that everyone and their mom runs into famous people all over the place, but me? Not once. Today, I have met someone famous.
BIG TIME FAMOUS.
That's right, today, while sitting in the damn airport, waiting on my flight to Flint which is delayed by 3 HOURS (it doesn't even take 3 hours to DRIVE from Detroit to Flint!), I saw Danny and Melinda from The Real World: Austin, along with their tiny dog in a sweater (don't get me started on animals in clothes...)
I think it's important to note that I've never seen these people before in my life, the only reason I even knew they were anyone famous was because the 40 year old woman behind me couldn't get over it. She talked about it for 15 minutes, then she went over and talked to them, and then she called everyone she knew and told them.
Seriously, though. It was so, like... magical. I think Danny and I totally had a moment.

Every Step You Take, Every Move You Make, Mac Mall Will Be Watching You

Mac Mall is stalking me. Seven years ago- SEVEN!- I ordered something for my IMac from Mac Mall. I lived in the dorms then, and after that, I got a bunch of Mac Mall catalogs. But then I went abroad. When I came back, I started getting Mac Mall catalogs at my new dorm. All I can think is that the mail people send the catalogs back with your new address on them. Anyhow. The year after that, I moved off campus and I got Mac Mall catalogs. I managed to allude them for the three months I lived in the L-shape apartment on Locust.
Then I made a huge mistake when I moved to NY. I needed an external disk drive. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, PEOPLE?? I HAD A MAC THEN, I HAD TO GO TO MAC MALL! Anyhow, I thought I had escaped them when I moved from McLean. And then I got a Mac Mall catalog today. Some of my FRIENDS don't even know my new address, but oh no, Mac Mall's got it. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I DONT EVEN HAVE A MAC ANYMORE.

What the bleep is going on, soup people?

Listen. All I want is some soup. Every day I say to myself, "you know what sounds good, self? Soup sounds good." And then I go looking for soup. All the soup around here is COMPLETELY UNSATISFACTORY. Is it so much to ask to get a good soup?
So listen up, soup-choosers. The following items are not wanted in my soup:
Beans
Meat of any kind
Noodles
Mushrooms
A tomato base
Lentils or Barley
Other nastiness such as the above

Things that are desirable in soup:
Corn
Broccoli
Cheesiness
Butternut squash
Potatoes (creamed, no chunks)
Other yumminess such as the above.

I leave you now with a quote from Danny-
"I don't eat soup, it's a waste of my time. It's like eating water."