Every Step You Take, Every Move You Make, Mac Mall Will Be Watching You

Mac Mall is stalking me. Seven years ago- SEVEN!- I ordered something for my IMac from Mac Mall. I lived in the dorms then, and after that, I got a bunch of Mac Mall catalogs. But then I went abroad. When I came back, I started getting Mac Mall catalogs at my new dorm. All I can think is that the mail people send the catalogs back with your new address on them. Anyhow. The year after that, I moved off campus and I got Mac Mall catalogs. I managed to allude them for the three months I lived in the L-shape apartment on Locust.
Then I made a huge mistake when I moved to NY. I needed an external disk drive. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, PEOPLE?? I HAD A MAC THEN, I HAD TO GO TO MAC MALL! Anyhow, I thought I had escaped them when I moved from McLean. And then I got a Mac Mall catalog today. Some of my FRIENDS don't even know my new address, but oh no, Mac Mall's got it. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I DONT EVEN HAVE A MAC ANYMORE.