Two Stories, both alike in dignity...

Get it? GET IT?
Oh god, that was so geeky.

Here are two stories I thought about while running.

(1) You know how on CSI everything is a clue? Like, for instance, the 2cm shard of glass will lead you to the abandoned car with the blood of the killer? Right. CSI would never crack my case, because I do too many stupid, illogical things.
For instance, today when I went running, I didn't have any pockets so I couldn't bring my house key, but I had to lock the house, which I can't do except from the outside. So, I took my keys, locked the door and then locked them in my car.
Probably, had I been killed while running, they would have noticed my keys missing when they investigated my apartment. Then they would be on the key trail, they would think it's a clue, and when they found them in my car, they would be like "Why did she put them in the car? Was she leaving them for someone? Was she afraid someone would break into the apartment?"
When really, I probably just got hit by a car and none of that was any clue whatsoever.
Which reminds me, I totally saw a high speed car chase today! It was sweet

(2) Story number 2 is about Running Man, the man, the mystery, the enigma. Running man is a little like the penguin in Billy Madison and a little like the good angel/conscience on your shoulder thing.
Today, I'm a half mile from my house and I am so proud of myself because I have been lazy lately, but here I am 6.5 miles into a really hilly run. And I see The Hill coming. A half mile from my house is the biggest hill known to man. You could fall over backwards walking up it.
Okay, that's a lie.
But, it's BIG.
So I see it and I say to myself, "Laura. You have done so well today. You don't have to do The Hill. Take a break, walk the last half mile."
And there, coming down the side street, is Running Man.
Running Man is a Kalamazoo staple.
He is everywhere, everyday, and he is always, always running. Dude has been around since I was a freshman at Western, running like there's no tomorrow. Rain, Snow, Sleet, Earthquake, Running Man is running.
Running man is also approximately 65 years old and puts me to shame in every respect.
Does Running Man, turning off the side street, start walking up the hill?
Hells no, Running Man starts trucking it up The Hill.
DAMN YOU, RUNNING MAN! WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS PUT ME TO SHAME???
Like I'm going to start walking when running man, old enough to be my grandfather is booking it?
So I start running up the hill.
Yeah, that doesn't last.
WHO ARE YOU, RUNNING MAN? Where do you live? Do you have a job that doesn't involve running? Don't you ever get tired??
Just when I'm about to give up, you show up and push me just a little farther.
Come on, Laura, you can do it! I'm 65 and I do it with a smile! Run, Laura, Run!
I made it half way.
And so now I ask you:
Running Man. Guardian Angel? Manifestation of my conscience? or Arch Nemesis?