If I Could Change The World

Most people, if they had access to a time machine, would go back in time and change some massive event. This is the case for me as well. If I had the chance, I would go back to the year 1991, I would walk into the room where What's His Name was composing the monumental hit "The Freshman", and I would break his pencil in half. And then, if necessary, I would eat the pencil.
That song, so very deep when you're in high school, is like freaking NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD to me now. And it's stalking me. You know "I've Got You Babe" from Groundhog's Day? That's me and The Freshmen. Leave me in peace! No more shoes full of rice!