My Dream Job and Voting=cookies

If I could do annnnnything in the whole wide world? I would write descriptive lines for talk shows and news programs, as well as headlines for newspapers. For instance, when Oprah has a guest and the little thing pops up and says

Candy Smith
Angry Housewife

Those things come out so freaking stupid, no matter what.
I would make them stupider.
I would make them COMPLETELY irrelevant. Mine would be like

Candy Smith
Wears too much eyeliner

Candy Smith
Has a lisp

Except, the show would be about world hunger or something.

I'm a heartless bitch.

I just saw this news headline on mlive.com-
The big story?
"Some voters don't care"
Wow. Earth-shattering news. Way to get to the big story.

Which brings me to my next topic, which is that I voted non-absentee for the first time ever. Voting is fun. There were cookies there.
I wasn't going to vote, but then I remembered "Vote or Die", and I didn't want to die, so..
Just kidding, I was always going to vote. But it was kind of cool. My polling location was a retirement home and all the the workers were volunteers from the home. Me and one of the workers discussed the vote-counting machine for a while. An all-around pleasant experience.
Remember, people. Voting=cookies.
Seriously, the sad state of affairs is that if that were the slogan, voting numbers would be up. Had I know ahead of time, I would have voted twice.