Goonies Never Say Die

Riiighht. About my night. I sit down at 8 to watch a little American Idol, and I'm anticipating Skating With the Stars, when I get a call from Rob. Rob can't find his keys. I don't have a car anymore, so I call this car service that we've used before to go out to Rob's work with the keys. I get in and I debate for a moment whether my driver is a man or a woman. Once she speaks, I decide it's a woman. So we get over to Rob's school, and Rob opens the car door and the dome light comes on. I swear to you, on the grave of my dead cat Homer who had feline leukemia, my driver is Large Marge from the Goonies. Not looks like Large Marge. It is Large Marge. Alright, so it wasn't really Large Marge, but the likeness? UNCANNY. After being temporarily stunned by this, I go to give her my credit card to pay and she's like "Well you didn't tell them you were gonna use a credit card." Well, what she actually said was "Well, you didn' tell dem you was gonna use a credit caaad." So we're like "Well, we can just go to the ATM across the street." So we go to the ATM and Rob goes in, and Large Marge seems rather irritated, which is ridiculous, because the ATM is about two feet out of her way. Anyways, Rob gets the money out, and the fare was $18, but for some reason, I feel so guilty for no conceivable reason that I actually give her $25, and I say "Thank you, have a nice night." The woman takes the money and rolls up the window and rolls away. Later, we're in Rob's car, going to the A&P, and I swear to you, I feel so guilty. I am sitting there thinking "Is Large Marge mad at me?" Not only am I thinking that, I'm actually WORRIED about it. When we come out of the A&P on good old sketchy McLean Ave., we witness our first drug deal. Two cars are parked next to each other, and they're both out of their cars and then this one guy yells to the other "YOU GOT ONE DAY, MAN!" and then he gets into his car with the shaded windows and drives away. Rob's all talking along, and we get in the car, and I say "did you hear that?" and he's like "what?". I swear, if there's any sort of crime ever committed, you had better hope Rob isn't the only witness.