Hidden Proof That I Am Actually Superhuman

Hidden Trait: I can turn on the shower and pick things up with my toes
Superhuman power: Superhuman strength

Hidden Trait: I've never been pulled over by the 5-0
Superhuman power: I am actually invisible

Hidden Trait: I never remember things the way they actually happen
Superhuman power: I can read people's minds and I'm acutally remembering their memories

Hidden Trait: I can't run faster than a 10-minute mile
Superhuman power: My body is actually made of lead, ideal for stopping people in their non-superhuman tracks

Hidden Trait: I know before I open the fridge that Rob has taken the last Diet Coke and left the empty box inside
Superhuman power: X-Ray vision

Hidden Trait: I don't kill Rob for doing the above stated
Superhuman power: Superhuman self-control

Hidden Trait: I can beat Joe at Clue, anytime, anyplace- BRING IT.
Superhuman power: Superhuman criminal sensory skills

Hidden Trait: I can write an entire blog about being a superhero
Superhuman power: Superhuman time-wasting capabilities