Pot
No, pot should not be legalized. Why? Because I think it's bad in some way? No. Because I think it's addictive or brain-addling or whatever? No. Honestly, I couldn't care less what you do with your brain. It shouldn't be legalized because I'm fricking sick of smelling it as it is.
Seriously, can you do something about that?
Did I mention that pot guy moved out last month? Yeah, but someone else in my building totally took up pot. Now, I will admit I know basically nothing about pot, but, after smelling new pothead's pot all the time, I'm thinking old pot guy was getting jacked. New guy's pot, while completely gross, still smells a lot better than old guy's pot.
I ordered my dog a sweater. She seemed cold.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Why I Hate Going to the Optometrist
1. "Is this lens better....flipflip....or is this lens better?"
Geez, man, I don't know.
Sometimes I think he's testing me and not even flipping them, so then I say that one is better than the other, but they're the same lens, and then he knows I'm a fraud.
2. Don't touch my eyelids.
3. The part where he gets the little eye telescope and moves all around my eyes like a crazy madscientist and I'm supposed to keep a straight face.
4. That DAMN PUFF OF AIR IN THE EYE. I keep telling them that, when I was a little kid, my optometrist at least had a eye-puffer with a picture of a tractor in a field inside, so I could distract myself while you blow air into my corneas.
5. You have to change the line of letters I read to you. Otherwise, I just memorize it.
6. I'm worried that I have bad breath the entire time.
7. The part at the end where I get lectured for wearing my contacts for a year at a time.
1. "Is this lens better....flipflip....or is this lens better?"
Geez, man, I don't know.
Sometimes I think he's testing me and not even flipping them, so then I say that one is better than the other, but they're the same lens, and then he knows I'm a fraud.
2. Don't touch my eyelids.
3. The part where he gets the little eye telescope and moves all around my eyes like a crazy madscientist and I'm supposed to keep a straight face.
4. That DAMN PUFF OF AIR IN THE EYE. I keep telling them that, when I was a little kid, my optometrist at least had a eye-puffer with a picture of a tractor in a field inside, so I could distract myself while you blow air into my corneas.
5. You have to change the line of letters I read to you. Otherwise, I just memorize it.
6. I'm worried that I have bad breath the entire time.
7. The part at the end where I get lectured for wearing my contacts for a year at a time.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Your Guide To Christmas Music and Thanksgiving Dinner
Best contemporary Christmas song:
God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman by Barenaked Ladies (minus S. Maclachlan, who bugs me)
Second best kind-of-contemporary:
What Christmas Means to Me My Love by Stevie Wonder
Also Good:
Funky, Funky Christmas by NKOTB (You KNOW Joey-Joe is ready! Jordan and Jon? Yeah! Come on! We gotta funky, funky Christmas going on!)
(Begrudgingly) Mariah Carey "All I Want For Christmas Is You"
Most hysterical Christmas lyric:
"Blessings from above!
God sends you his love!"
N'Sync "Merry Christmas"
("Oh, hey! I just saw God! He said to tell you, hi!")
Best Traditional Christmas Song:
Silver Bells
Carol of the Bells (though, I swear they're saying, "Oh, Hannaukah! Oh, Hannaukah!, which confuses me)
Avoid:
Boring stuff.
Best Thanksgiving Foods:
Stuffing
Pumpkin Pie
Worst Thanksgiving Foods:
Green Bean Casserole
Squash
Cranberries
Gravy
Other stuff Erin brings
Best contemporary Christmas song:
God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman by Barenaked Ladies (minus S. Maclachlan, who bugs me)
Second best kind-of-contemporary:
What Christmas Means to Me My Love by Stevie Wonder
Also Good:
Funky, Funky Christmas by NKOTB (You KNOW Joey-Joe is ready! Jordan and Jon? Yeah! Come on! We gotta funky, funky Christmas going on!)
(Begrudgingly) Mariah Carey "All I Want For Christmas Is You"
Most hysterical Christmas lyric:
"Blessings from above!
God sends you his love!"
N'Sync "Merry Christmas"
("Oh, hey! I just saw God! He said to tell you, hi!")
Best Traditional Christmas Song:
Silver Bells
Carol of the Bells (though, I swear they're saying, "Oh, Hannaukah! Oh, Hannaukah!, which confuses me)
Avoid:
Boring stuff.
Best Thanksgiving Foods:
Stuffing
Pumpkin Pie
Worst Thanksgiving Foods:
Green Bean Casserole
Squash
Cranberries
Gravy
Other stuff Erin brings
Friday, November 16, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Unacceptable
Yesterday, I was at the gym on the treadmill, so obviously I have to watch whatever's on the TVs. And so I see, for the first time ever, "I Love New York 2"
No.
This is unacceptable.
WHAT IS THIS CRAP? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Look at me, turning into an oldie.
Really though, what a massive waste of... everything.
I actually felt furious.
Yesterday, I was at the gym on the treadmill, so obviously I have to watch whatever's on the TVs. And so I see, for the first time ever, "I Love New York 2"
No.
This is unacceptable.
WHAT IS THIS CRAP? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Look at me, turning into an oldie.
Really though, what a massive waste of... everything.
I actually felt furious.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
So I'm Not That Refined
(1) CDs, off the top of my head, that I can play all the way through without wanting to skip anything.
Barenaked Ladies "Rock Spectacle", stolen directly from Gordy
John Mellencamp's Greatest Hits (hmm... also stolen from Gordy)
Indigo Girls "Swamp Ophelia" (not Gordy's)
Garden State Soundtrack
Ani Difranco "Out of Range" (stolen from Sara)
Jack Johnson anything
Van Morrison's Greatest Hits
If I'm in a melodramatic mood:
Bright Eyes "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning"
Three songs that remind me of Sundays when I was a little kid and we drove to my Nana's every Sunday:
(1) Rich Girl by Hall and Oates
(2) Fire and Rain by James Taylor
(3) Operator by Jim Croce
Now, to be clear, there is no guarentee that I actually ever heard these songs on the way to my Nana's, but nonetheless. Which reminds me of this- Danny and I are talking about house buying and I tell him how much Gordy says they paid for their house, and Danny says, "No they didn't, they paid this much", then proceeds to tell me how much they paid, PLUS how much our old house sold for. To which I say:
(1) What the hell! You were 12! How do you remember that?!?
(2) What happened to all of my memories!?! I remember NOTHING about ANYTHING!
Someone stole my memories, Matrix-style. I think I took the blue pill on accident. Or the red pill. See, I can't even remember that part of the movie. Jerks!
(2) Today, I took my niece to see Disney's High School Musical Live at the Civic. Let's be honest, it was like the awesomest thing I've seen in a while. You may recall that a few weeks ago Rob and I walked out of MacBeth because we were bored. At High School Musical? Captivated. What that says about me, I don't care to speculate on, so I will move on.
(3) Oh, hey, we bought a house. Ha! How crazy is that?
(1) CDs, off the top of my head, that I can play all the way through without wanting to skip anything.
Barenaked Ladies "Rock Spectacle", stolen directly from Gordy
John Mellencamp's Greatest Hits (hmm... also stolen from Gordy)
Indigo Girls "Swamp Ophelia" (not Gordy's)
Garden State Soundtrack
Ani Difranco "Out of Range" (stolen from Sara)
Jack Johnson anything
Van Morrison's Greatest Hits
If I'm in a melodramatic mood:
Bright Eyes "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning"
Three songs that remind me of Sundays when I was a little kid and we drove to my Nana's every Sunday:
(1) Rich Girl by Hall and Oates
(2) Fire and Rain by James Taylor
(3) Operator by Jim Croce
Now, to be clear, there is no guarentee that I actually ever heard these songs on the way to my Nana's, but nonetheless. Which reminds me of this- Danny and I are talking about house buying and I tell him how much Gordy says they paid for their house, and Danny says, "No they didn't, they paid this much", then proceeds to tell me how much they paid, PLUS how much our old house sold for. To which I say:
(1) What the hell! You were 12! How do you remember that?!?
(2) What happened to all of my memories!?! I remember NOTHING about ANYTHING!
Someone stole my memories, Matrix-style. I think I took the blue pill on accident. Or the red pill. See, I can't even remember that part of the movie. Jerks!
(2) Today, I took my niece to see Disney's High School Musical Live at the Civic. Let's be honest, it was like the awesomest thing I've seen in a while. You may recall that a few weeks ago Rob and I walked out of MacBeth because we were bored. At High School Musical? Captivated. What that says about me, I don't care to speculate on, so I will move on.
(3) Oh, hey, we bought a house. Ha! How crazy is that?
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Etc.
Today around 2 in the afternoon, when we both had a million things to do, Rob and I decided to go see a movie. Why not? Shall we talk about how good Gone, Baby, Gone was? Unbelievably good. Not just an suspense movie, people. Okay, not philosophy, exactly, but a huge moral dilemma. It was fantastic.
Applied for a new job today.
Went running and decided to take Penny because I feel incredibly bad when I go and leave her at home. She doesn't get enough exercise as it is. But she's just so incredibly bad. I regretted taking her the minute we started running. First of all, she runs way faster than I do, which means that I'm not only running, I'm holding Penny back at the same time. Then she sees squirrels. She sees squirrels and starts running for them, so I pull her back, but she wont give up and I am telling you this dog is literally airborne and I'm still running. How are you supposed to run while pulling an airborne dog along?
Started working on a new story. Don't jinx it by asking me about it, because I won't tell you.
Today around 2 in the afternoon, when we both had a million things to do, Rob and I decided to go see a movie. Why not? Shall we talk about how good Gone, Baby, Gone was? Unbelievably good. Not just an suspense movie, people. Okay, not philosophy, exactly, but a huge moral dilemma. It was fantastic.
Applied for a new job today.
Went running and decided to take Penny because I feel incredibly bad when I go and leave her at home. She doesn't get enough exercise as it is. But she's just so incredibly bad. I regretted taking her the minute we started running. First of all, she runs way faster than I do, which means that I'm not only running, I'm holding Penny back at the same time. Then she sees squirrels. She sees squirrels and starts running for them, so I pull her back, but she wont give up and I am telling you this dog is literally airborne and I'm still running. How are you supposed to run while pulling an airborne dog along?
Started working on a new story. Don't jinx it by asking me about it, because I won't tell you.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Let's Discuss the Word "Easy"
I downloaded some recipes. I thought I should start pseudo-cooking, because it's cheap and healthier. These recipes have a difficulty level on them, and I chose a bunch that said 'easy'.
My definition of easy is
(1) Eggs
(2) sandwiches
(3) going to Pita Pit and getting a chicken pita (and even that's a bit of a pain, once you drive there, stand in line, wait for your chicken to cook and go down the line of what you want in your pita).
Let me tell you what was included in my 'easy' recipe.
(1) Cleaning and cutting vegetables. Real vegetables, not frozen.
(2) Steaming the vegetables. Not in the microwave, in a steamer. I didn't even know we had a steamer until Rob showed me that our pot had a handy little steaming bucket.
(3) After that, I had to saute the vegetables
(4) Add eggs to skillet. (That I can do).
(5) THEN, broil the damn skillet in the oven.
Reasons why this is NOT an easy recipe.
(1) I had to do three different things to the vegetables
(2) I had to use three different cooking containers.
(3) I had to use the range and the stove.
(4) Anything involving steaming is not easy.
Which is why I'm having Pita Pit tonight.
I downloaded some recipes. I thought I should start pseudo-cooking, because it's cheap and healthier. These recipes have a difficulty level on them, and I chose a bunch that said 'easy'.
My definition of easy is
(1) Eggs
(2) sandwiches
(3) going to Pita Pit and getting a chicken pita (and even that's a bit of a pain, once you drive there, stand in line, wait for your chicken to cook and go down the line of what you want in your pita).
Let me tell you what was included in my 'easy' recipe.
(1) Cleaning and cutting vegetables. Real vegetables, not frozen.
(2) Steaming the vegetables. Not in the microwave, in a steamer. I didn't even know we had a steamer until Rob showed me that our pot had a handy little steaming bucket.
(3) After that, I had to saute the vegetables
(4) Add eggs to skillet. (That I can do).
(5) THEN, broil the damn skillet in the oven.
Reasons why this is NOT an easy recipe.
(1) I had to do three different things to the vegetables
(2) I had to use three different cooking containers.
(3) I had to use the range and the stove.
(4) Anything involving steaming is not easy.
Which is why I'm having Pita Pit tonight.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
My 600th Post is About Nasty Ice Cream
I forgot to write about this. After we eat last night, we're on our way to the theatre when Rob says, "Want to get some TCBY?" Okay. If you live in Kzoo, you know that the downtown combination Subway/TCBY is nast. Really. Not cool. I'm like.. "Uhh...no." Rob wants TCBY though. When we walk in, one of the people who works there is outside on the curb smoking a cigarette. We go inside.
The ice cream cases in there look like someone got locked inside and tried to claw their way out. There are yucky smudges and stuff stuck to them. The lady comes in and Rob's like "I'd like a hot fudge sundae.
Lady: "Hold on." Opens the hot fudge container. No gloves. Peers inside. Starts scraping it off the sides. "Okay"
Puts 8 pounds of "Vanilla ice cream" (Brown vanilla? Is that like Choc-nilla?) in the container, scrapes the hot fudge off the side of the container and flicks it on top, and it looks curdled. Puts tons of whip cream on top and about a cup full of nuts. Rob hates nuts. Sticks a spoon in it.
Rob: "Thanks"
Rob then walks outside, stops in front of the trash can, throws it in there and we continue on to the theatre.
Moral: You are either Subway or you are TCBY. You are never SubBY.
Also, don't lock people in the ice cream freezer.
I forgot to write about this. After we eat last night, we're on our way to the theatre when Rob says, "Want to get some TCBY?" Okay. If you live in Kzoo, you know that the downtown combination Subway/TCBY is nast. Really. Not cool. I'm like.. "Uhh...no." Rob wants TCBY though. When we walk in, one of the people who works there is outside on the curb smoking a cigarette. We go inside.
The ice cream cases in there look like someone got locked inside and tried to claw their way out. There are yucky smudges and stuff stuck to them. The lady comes in and Rob's like "I'd like a hot fudge sundae.
Lady: "Hold on." Opens the hot fudge container. No gloves. Peers inside. Starts scraping it off the sides. "Okay"
Puts 8 pounds of "Vanilla ice cream" (Brown vanilla? Is that like Choc-nilla?) in the container, scrapes the hot fudge off the side of the container and flicks it on top, and it looks curdled. Puts tons of whip cream on top and about a cup full of nuts. Rob hates nuts. Sticks a spoon in it.
Rob: "Thanks"
Rob then walks outside, stops in front of the trash can, throws it in there and we continue on to the theatre.
Moral: You are either Subway or you are TCBY. You are never SubBY.
Also, don't lock people in the ice cream freezer.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Once again, my childhood is a sham.
Here's what I remember: We used to go over to the Edwards' house and Mrs. Edwards made the most AWESOME Kool-Aid. It was- get THIS- Lemonade and Orange... mixed. Seriously, though, it was really good.
So, while at the grocery store this week, I thought to myself.. I'm going to make Mrs. Edwards Kool-Aid. So I did.
It's Tang.
It tastes EXACTLY like Tang.
And it's not even as good as I remember it being.
That is so fricking disappointing. I hate it when you find out that something you thought was so cool really wasn't that great. Like back in middle school, when I found out Erin wasn't as cool as I thought she was. What a blow. Though I should have seen that coming.
Tonight we went to see MacBeth at the Civic. Well, we saw half of it anyways. We got bored. Are we ADD or something? That's okay. It was pretty much done after Rob leaned over and said "McDuff looks like the guy from the Quaker Oats box" and I could no longer keep a straight face.
Here's what I remember: We used to go over to the Edwards' house and Mrs. Edwards made the most AWESOME Kool-Aid. It was- get THIS- Lemonade and Orange... mixed. Seriously, though, it was really good.
So, while at the grocery store this week, I thought to myself.. I'm going to make Mrs. Edwards Kool-Aid. So I did.
It's Tang.
It tastes EXACTLY like Tang.
And it's not even as good as I remember it being.
That is so fricking disappointing. I hate it when you find out that something you thought was so cool really wasn't that great. Like back in middle school, when I found out Erin wasn't as cool as I thought she was. What a blow. Though I should have seen that coming.
Tonight we went to see MacBeth at the Civic. Well, we saw half of it anyways. We got bored. Are we ADD or something? That's okay. It was pretty much done after Rob leaned over and said "McDuff looks like the guy from the Quaker Oats box" and I could no longer keep a straight face.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
So. Flipping. Hilarious.
Then Buy Me a F**&ing Popsicle Already
via Overheard in New York, Oct 11, 2007
Then Buy Me a F**&ing Popsicle Already
Son: Dad, can we buy Popsicles?
Dad: Why don't we make our own at home?
Son: Yay! I want to make seltzer flavor!
Dad, sighing: Well, that would just be an ice cube.
--C-Town, Park Slope
Overheard by: Hiland
via Overheard in New York, Oct 11, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Why I Own the Color Green
WHY? There's no why. I just do. Which is why I need all of you to get off of it. I knew green way back when blue and yellow were just getting together. I knew green before he made his money, so he knows he can trust me. So, when I go into Target, two days after the last time I was there, and see that all those cute green puffy vests are sold out, it ticks me off, people. It ticks me off. I wasn't going to buy one of the vests, but I know that there are about a zillion people out there now wearing the cute vest in the color that I own. What happened to blue? I thought blue was so great.
Posers.
Overheard in Target:
College-aged girl reading birthday card-
"It's your birthday, let's get loco...(dramatic pause).. I don't know what that means."
... FIGHT ON, FIGHT ON FOR WES-TERN!
Know what band is good that I forgot about? Sister Hazel. I wish they wouldn't have named themselves that, but I really enjoy their music. Particularly "Champagne High". Also, others. I like them not only because their lyrics are pretty interesting, but also because they're happy. Even when they're depressed, they're still pretty happy. Do you feel like all the songs are depressing these days? The other day we were talking about music in one of my classes and I told my students that their generation's musicians have serious daddy issues. I swear, if I hear one more song by someone who led a perfectly lovely life about how their dad ruined everything, I may go insane. No one laughed, but I'm used to that by now.
Poll:
Song that makes you cry all over yourself. Yes, I've asked this question before. Answer anyways.
Mine= The Scientist by Coldplay
Also, what's your favorite Dave Matthews song? Mine is "Lie in our Graves". My sister's is "Everyday". She cries all over herself when she hears that song.
Speaking of my sister, she had her tonsils out today, not because she had tonsilitis, but because she had some type of germiness living in her throat that was eating her tonsils. If you know my sister, this is hilarious because she is a GERMAPHOBE. It's poetic justice.
WHY? There's no why. I just do. Which is why I need all of you to get off of it. I knew green way back when blue and yellow were just getting together. I knew green before he made his money, so he knows he can trust me. So, when I go into Target, two days after the last time I was there, and see that all those cute green puffy vests are sold out, it ticks me off, people. It ticks me off. I wasn't going to buy one of the vests, but I know that there are about a zillion people out there now wearing the cute vest in the color that I own. What happened to blue? I thought blue was so great.
Posers.
Overheard in Target:
College-aged girl reading birthday card-
"It's your birthday, let's get loco...(dramatic pause).. I don't know what that means."
... FIGHT ON, FIGHT ON FOR WES-TERN!
Know what band is good that I forgot about? Sister Hazel. I wish they wouldn't have named themselves that, but I really enjoy their music. Particularly "Champagne High". Also, others. I like them not only because their lyrics are pretty interesting, but also because they're happy. Even when they're depressed, they're still pretty happy. Do you feel like all the songs are depressing these days? The other day we were talking about music in one of my classes and I told my students that their generation's musicians have serious daddy issues. I swear, if I hear one more song by someone who led a perfectly lovely life about how their dad ruined everything, I may go insane. No one laughed, but I'm used to that by now.
Poll:
Song that makes you cry all over yourself. Yes, I've asked this question before. Answer anyways.
Mine= The Scientist by Coldplay
Also, what's your favorite Dave Matthews song? Mine is "Lie in our Graves". My sister's is "Everyday". She cries all over herself when she hears that song.
Speaking of my sister, she had her tonsils out today, not because she had tonsilitis, but because she had some type of germiness living in her throat that was eating her tonsils. If you know my sister, this is hilarious because she is a GERMAPHOBE. It's poetic justice.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Sign of the Impending Apocolypse #1
Yesterday I was in a Hallmark store and they had those little blank journals with an inspirational quote on the front. Which is cute and all. Except the quote was from Gwen Stefani. "My life story is writing itself".
Oh, Gwen, you sage. If I hadn't seen your name below it, I would have thought Confucius said it.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, MY LIFE STORY IS WRITING ITSELF?
So I'm obsessed with Jimmy Johns all of the sudden. Not sure where that came from.
I'm about to go teach a class for 2 hours and then I have the next 4 days off. I have been looking forward to this for way too long.
Yesterday I was in a Hallmark store and they had those little blank journals with an inspirational quote on the front. Which is cute and all. Except the quote was from Gwen Stefani. "My life story is writing itself".
Oh, Gwen, you sage. If I hadn't seen your name below it, I would have thought Confucius said it.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, MY LIFE STORY IS WRITING ITSELF?
So I'm obsessed with Jimmy Johns all of the sudden. Not sure where that came from.
I'm about to go teach a class for 2 hours and then I have the next 4 days off. I have been looking forward to this for way too long.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Dear State of Michigan,
Work it out.
Love, Laura
Seriously, people, do you not see the irony in the fact that you're holding out so that people don't have to pay higher taxes, but by holding out, a bunch of people aren't going to get paid at all? I'm going to go ahead and get in line for paying taxes a teensy bit higher than usual.
And why would you pass an extension? So you can not come up with a plan for 30 more days? Great. Great idea.
On another note, I suck. Yesterday, I was on the elevator and, just as the doors were closing, a girl in a wheel chair approached the elevator. Naturally, instead of acting quickly like any normal person, I just kind of stood there. I do this a lot. It's like I need that time-out super power because my brain doesn't work as fast as other peoples'. You know how this ends. The elevator doors closed before the girl could get on.
I am so retarded and horrible.
In my defense, I did hit the 'door open' button several times.
Somehow, I don't think this is going to make much of a difference when I'm sent to hell.
Work it out.
Love, Laura
Seriously, people, do you not see the irony in the fact that you're holding out so that people don't have to pay higher taxes, but by holding out, a bunch of people aren't going to get paid at all? I'm going to go ahead and get in line for paying taxes a teensy bit higher than usual.
And why would you pass an extension? So you can not come up with a plan for 30 more days? Great. Great idea.
On another note, I suck. Yesterday, I was on the elevator and, just as the doors were closing, a girl in a wheel chair approached the elevator. Naturally, instead of acting quickly like any normal person, I just kind of stood there. I do this a lot. It's like I need that time-out super power because my brain doesn't work as fast as other peoples'. You know how this ends. The elevator doors closed before the girl could get on.
I am so retarded and horrible.
In my defense, I did hit the 'door open' button several times.
Somehow, I don't think this is going to make much of a difference when I'm sent to hell.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
He Says He's Sorry
via Overheard in New York, Sep 25, 2007
Street preacher: The day of repentment is here!
Passerby: 'Repentment' isn't a word...
Street preacher: It's the word of God.
--42nd & 5th
Overheard by: The Professor
via Overheard in New York, Sep 25, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
YARRRGH!
I didn't miss it this year!! Tomorrow is Talk Like A Pirate Day!!! I'm now coming up with ways that I can incorporate this into my classes tomorrow. I've been looking for a way to get rid of that very last shred of professional dignity and I think this is it.
(1) My brain works like a computer.
653-0047- Know what that is? My best friend from kindergarten's phone number. But here's the thing; I only remember it because I never updated it, as in, she never got a new phone number while we were still hanging out. If she had, I would only remember the last phone number she had.
I'm sure this is really intruiging, but I've got to move on people.
(2) Is 'kindergarten' a German word? Say it with a German accent. It sounds German to me.
Mini? My mom's like a human Rosetta Stone. I'm going to start calling her Rosetta. Maybe Rosy. She'll love that.
(3) I'm going to see Jamaica Kincaid tonight. She's a genius, maybe she'll be able to make me a genius with her genius advice.
(4) Papers I promised to return tomorrow: 10 read, 9 to go. Which would be good if I wasn't driving up to GR to see Jamaica Kincaid in about 10 seconds.
(5) My life, in minature:
Me: Rob, you left the sliding door open again
Rob: Well the ninjas have to get in some how
Me: Rob, there are no ninjas here
Rob:... Laura... don't piss them off...
Which would be funny if, the next night, he had remembered to close the sliding door when we went to bed. Not the case. I swear to you, if it happens again, there had damn well better be a ninja dozing on my couch or I'm going to fist fight Rob. And everyone knows he cries like a little girl.
(6) Heroes. One week from yesterday. Feel the power.
I didn't miss it this year!! Tomorrow is Talk Like A Pirate Day!!! I'm now coming up with ways that I can incorporate this into my classes tomorrow. I've been looking for a way to get rid of that very last shred of professional dignity and I think this is it.
(1) My brain works like a computer.
653-0047- Know what that is? My best friend from kindergarten's phone number. But here's the thing; I only remember it because I never updated it, as in, she never got a new phone number while we were still hanging out. If she had, I would only remember the last phone number she had.
I'm sure this is really intruiging, but I've got to move on people.
(2) Is 'kindergarten' a German word? Say it with a German accent. It sounds German to me.
Mini? My mom's like a human Rosetta Stone. I'm going to start calling her Rosetta. Maybe Rosy. She'll love that.
(3) I'm going to see Jamaica Kincaid tonight. She's a genius, maybe she'll be able to make me a genius with her genius advice.
(4) Papers I promised to return tomorrow: 10 read, 9 to go. Which would be good if I wasn't driving up to GR to see Jamaica Kincaid in about 10 seconds.
(5) My life, in minature:
Me: Rob, you left the sliding door open again
Rob: Well the ninjas have to get in some how
Me: Rob, there are no ninjas here
Rob:... Laura... don't piss them off...
Which would be funny if, the next night, he had remembered to close the sliding door when we went to bed. Not the case. I swear to you, if it happens again, there had damn well better be a ninja dozing on my couch or I'm going to fist fight Rob. And everyone knows he cries like a little girl.
(6) Heroes. One week from yesterday. Feel the power.
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