Today is the most beautiful day of all time, and I am going hiking. I may come back with a mountain lion that I wrestled to the ground. Or, because we're hiking beside the Hudson River, I may find a body and have to call in the NYPD. I'll keep you updated.

P.S. Yesterday, on the way back from the gym, I was pulling up behind these two cars at the stop sign and, as I got closer, the guy from Car #1 gets out of his car and guy from car #2 gets out of his car. Appparently car #2 was tailgaiting or something. Guy #1 shoves guy #2. Guy #2 puts his hands up and backs off. Both get in their cars and drive away. Where the hell am I.