Monday, May 31, 2004

Sneak Preview
There is much to say about this weekend- about why I slept on a sopping wet sleeping bag, why I learned that Amelia of aviation fame's last name is actually spelled Earhart and not Airhart, and why we were confronted by the DNR after a bitter old man stomped away to tell on us. But I will discuss this at another time, when I dont have laundry to do, photocopies to make, groceries to buy, and suitcases to pack. But I will post my favorite quote for now...
"Hmm.. I wonder who liked S'mores more, Lewis or Clark." - Axel Anderson, contemplating life while making S'mores.

Friday, May 28, 2004

Life=Good
Things are looking up after my long, mind numbing winter in dual job hell. Tonight, I will work for the last time this week. Oh yes, thats right! I dont have to work on a Saturday! Tomorrow, after going to kickboxing in the morning (envisioning high school kids heads as the target of my fists of fury) (oh yeah, thats right, I said fists of fury)I'm going to drive to Lansing and meet up with la familia and see the wedding pictures. Then I'm going to drive back here, pack up the car, pack rob into the car and go to the campsite. There, I will spend my weekend laying on the beach, laying in my hammock, playing poker and having a cookout. Then I'll come home monday, go to work(s)on tuesday, pack up my crap and I'm off to Ireland for 10 days on wednesday. I'm kind of freaking out about this summer though, I think its going to go by so freaking fast. In the seven weeks between getting back from my trip and moving to NYC, Im going to (1) fly out to New York and pick out an apartment (2) hopefully go to BlissFest with Jen and Ryan (3) hopefully go on a real quick hiking trip (4) make a couple trips home for various things (5) work five days a week (6)work like hell on my writing. It seems like there is SOOOO much stuff to arrange before I move-
On another page-
Im thinking about becoming and ex-patriate. I had this table last night with this gay couple who come in all the time and I love, and the guy is like "we're trying to figure out where we could move to.. its kind of a scary time to live in this country.." and Im like, you know, you're totally right. We are 5 months away from electing this man who scares the hell out of me to another 4 years. They're talking about starting a draft back up to fight a war that I dont even believe in and happen to feel is based completely on lies. The country is completely ruining the environment with all of these "new laws" which actually allow more pollution. From reading "Daily Reason to dispatch Bush" on www.mcsweeneys.net, I've found out that Bush has tried to appoint men who support segregation and oppose homosexual rights to high offices. I think that the fear from the 9/11 attacks has begun a national pride that in most cases would be good, but is being manipulated and used to talk people into giving up rights for supposed "security" and supporting someone who doesnt deserve the support, but fuels the fear. So, where do you think I should go? Prague is nice. Id miss my family, I couldnt really move anywhere. GOOD GOD PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO OUT AND VOTE IN NOVEMBER!!
On a positive note- I have to admit that it's great that I live in a country where I can write a post like this and not fear for my life. That really is the best thing in the world about the U.S.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

YET AGAIN- WHERE DO I WORK or WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?
Once again, overheard in my ISS classroom-
student 1: You're going to hell (to student 2)
student 2: I don't believe in hell, Im Jewish
student 1: Yeah, well, then you're going to Hannaukah.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

WHERE DO I WORK? or WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?
Overheard in my ISS classroom today: "Yeah, I just got a CD player in my car. My boyfriend just stole it for me last night."
Botox. Shudder.
Last night I had a nightmare about Botox-like substances. My sister and I were at this clinic that had something to do with beauty, but it wasn't like a spa, it was an actual doctor. Maybe a dermatologist. Anyhow, my sister went first and they had this little contraption that looked like a smooth piece of metal with two handles. They put it against her skin and squeezed the handles together and all the sudden this spike of metal an inch and a half long pops out and makes a hole in her head and the lady fills it with "aloe stuff to make the skin smooth and fat to get rid of wrinkles." So when it's my turn I tell the lady that she can do everything else, but theres no way shes putting a hole in my head and filling it. So she's like "OK". So she does everything else and then I get up to go and I'm walking away and she corners me and gets the aloe stuff on toothpicks. And I see it and its wierd and all, but Im thinking, Oh, toothpicks instead of that metal thing, that seems like a pretty good deal. So I proceed to let this woman shove toothpicks covered in aloe stuff and fat into my temples.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

COUNTDOWN SAYS: 4 MORE DAYS

4 MORE FREAKING DAYS AND I'M NOT AN ISS TEACHER ANYMORE!! I went on a job interview yesterday, because I was thinking, I have seven weeks between the time I get back from Ireland and moving to New York, so I'm going to need something more than just waitressing at night. It was a secretarial position for Culligan Water. I will not do it, even if I get the job. Why? Because the man that would be my boss is ON FIRE for water. I mean like, "this is such an important position, Laura. You would be the face and voice of Culligan Water for all the customers that come in here. If we decide you're the right person, we're willing to wait until you get back on June 12th." Now, on one hand, its admirable that this man takes a job that would drive anyone else to suicide and makes it his passion. On the other hand, BUDDY,ITS JUST WATER! I could not wake up every day, even just for seven weeks, and pump myself up to go sell water. If people called me on the phone and said "my water was supposed to be here hours ago, where is it!?" I would not say "oh GOD! IM SO SORRY!" I would say "hey lady, I dont know if you know or not, but you're getting upset about WATER. Do you have a faucet? good, I think you'll live until the delivery gets there.." Also, I've noticed as of late that my ability to kiss ass is diminishing. People get upset about stupid s@#t, and normally I would, you know, try to make them feel better. Now I just kind of look at them funny.
In other news, I have a flower on my desk at work that the janitor gave me, probably three months ago (that's a whole other story..) At first it died. Then it molded. Did I throw it out then? No. Now, I've just noticed, its so far gone that even the mold has died and given up. The miracle of science and patience.
In other other news... CAMPING TRIP ALL WEEKEND. I love camping. Plus, we have about 10 people coming out to the site to hang out and stay. I have a bad feeling we may be kicked out of the park when we have 10 people sleeping in our 4 person site. Oh well, what can you do?

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

I know, I know, I dont post for six months at a time and then all the sudden Im doing several posts a day. But I just have to tell you about something thats been bothering me... Do you assign everything a personality the way that I do? It's not even a conscious thing, but to me the number 8 seems like a nice person. Maybe its because it has the smooth curves. Because, while 7 is my lucky number, to me it has a sneaky personality. Maybe the harsh edges?? But really, I mainly do it with cars and pop. For instance, Jessica Stoltz's car- to me, is an old woman who wears big hats. I think its because the back end is so long, it kind of reminds me of someone with a big butt. Rob's car is a 40 year old accountant. Doesn't it just kind of look small and modest? Jen's car is a cocky teenager. With pop, I feel like the different companies are families- example-
Pepsi-
pepsi is the dad, diet pepsi is the mom, dr. pepper is the uncle everyone loves but no one really sees very often, sierra mist is like the kid brother, and mountain dew is the rebellious teenager.
DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK LIKE THIS????
Depressing when you write a huge post and it somehow gets messed up and lost. Luckily, I have nothing but time at work to write a whole new one. The most incredibly exciting news of my life is that Lily bought a ticket yesterday and will now be coming to Ireland with me. The trip is going to be a thousand times better with her, because for some reason we seem to get ourselves into really hilarious situations when we're going together- Im so excited, I cant wait to get on the plane:) In honor of the Laura/Lily Ireland adventure, I will post some highlights from our last time in Ireland together.
* By far my favorite is the Christmas tree story- We're at the pub on campus and we down a few too many Smirnoff Ices. We decide, hey! It's December! we need a Christmas tree! Me, Lily, Tomas and Paul decide to borrow a tree from campus- we go to the rec center, uproot one of the smaller trees and carry it home, dodging behind houses and between windows with a six foot tree. When we get it home, we stick it in a bucket and decorate it with tin foil.
* Thanksgiving is another good story. We decide to make the boys a traditional Thanksgiving meal. We order a turkey weeks ahead of time and when we go to pick it up on Thanksgiving, the butcher says "oh yeah.. we dont have that. How about some roast beef?" We are pissed beyond belief and walk another two miles to the other butcher (a matter of principle, you dont buy from someone who screwed you over!) and buy chickens instead. We make dinner, the boys find it to be disgusting (the candied sweet potatoes, cant blame them..) but are rather polite about it. We also have a guest for Thanksgiving. Jill, a guest of mine from home, has invited some random American she met in Galway to stay with us for a few days IN MY HOUSE. We lock our doors and pray we're not killed in the middle of the night...
This is all for now, partly because as I write these, I realize, you kind of had to be there...
A FEW NOTES!!!!-
Congratulations to Erin Carriere, soon to be Mrs. Erin Armey, as of last week:)
Congratulations to Kenna Dawson, soon to be Mrs. Kenna Kirschner as of last week-ish
Congratulations to Joseph Soushumber Parcell, who's first feature-length film will be debuting at the Little Theatre this weekend- 8/9pm in Kalamazoo- be there.
Congratulations to Tanya Snider who moves all the way to Washington this week:( going to miss you.
Congratulations to Rob-a-roo, who has a gig tonight in Jackson playing all originals...
man, now I just want to congratulate everyone..
Congratulations to Jackie for saying damn the man in a conference she went to this weekend...
Congratulations to Jen D. for teaching her first class, in creative writing no less, this week...
Congratulations to Jessica Sprovtsoff who has just completed her first year of Law School...
Thats all for now...


Monday, May 17, 2004

My day.

Tonight we made pizza on our new pizza stone. The pizza was fantastic and the kitchen is covered in flour. We must have been successful. In other news, I began the huge overwhelming and intimidating project that will be my summer. So before I run off to New York and have every word of every story I've written carefully scrutinized, I have begun the task of building up my 'in progress' writing folder. Basically, I need to get some stories going so that I have work to show in workshops and they need to be well on their way. At the end of the two years I have to have a book-length collection of short stories to earn my MFA. Im thinking mine is going to center around the idea of family- mostly non-traditional. Today, I started a story about a video game maker who falls in love with a migrant worker. Yeah, Im not so sure how that one is going to pan out either, but I have to say that I definately believe no story is wasted- My most successful story to date was the result of a memoir piece that failed horribly.
So today it started. I think one of the reasons that its so difficult to write is that you're almost afraid to put pencil to paper until you feel like you have a really good idea. Its like I'm afraid that I'm going to ruin the concept by starting a story line that may dead-end. Or I'm afraid of starting a story and spending tons of time on it, and then finding out that it didnt work out and now I've wasted all this writing time when I should have been thinking of a new idea. Oh well, that is the writing process to a tee, I should probably get used to it now.
In random and insignificant news, I went for a run today that was wonderful, because instead of running to a spot and then turning around and running back to where I started, I had Rob drop me off at a spot 2.5 miles from our house and I ran back to the house. It was so nice to feel like I was running TO somewhere instead of in a big freaking circle. Rob wants to go to bed now. 'night :)
P.S. Jackie- I wouldnt have signed the damn paper, and I would have stood up and told that guy he was an ignorant piece of... and then you and I could have knocked him off the stage and started a petition that made narrow-mindedness a federal offense and EVERYONE would have signed it. Grrr...

Monday, May 03, 2004

I'M F-ING BLONDE, DAMNIT!!

So today I went to get my hair done- I've been looking forward to this for quite some time now, I was sick of my hair but I was waiting to get it cut until after the wedding. I even went to a nice place, which is rare for me, because I was getting a cut and blonde highlights. The hair gods are laughing at me. First of all, ALL OF MY HAIR HAS BEEN CHOPPED OFF. I asked for it to be an inch above my shoulders. It must be like, 3 inches above my shoulders. Secondly, I asked for blonde HIGHLIGHTS. I swear to you my whole freaking head is blonde. And its not even the same COLOR blonde- the bottom of my head where the dye was in longer is like WHITE and the top is a golden-y color.