Don't even get me started on the day I had.
Dont. Even. Get me STARTED.
Plus, my dog has pneumonia.
And that was actually the least traumatizing thing today.

Once, we were at a karaoke bar with some friends. I got Rob to agree to let me pick out a song for him to get up and sing. So eventually they call him and he gets up there and he has the microphone in his hand and it turns out that I picked "Man, I feel like a woman" by Shania Twain. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being hilarity, I would estimate Rob's amusement at this situation as about a 3.

Today I ran a half marathon.
It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole entire life.
I didn't run it fast, but I finished it and that's all that counts, right?
My biggest accomplishment, however, is that I ran 9 entire miles before I had to stop at all.

I was looking at the website for the campground Rob and I are staying at over Memorial Day Weekend to see if it was okay for Penny to be there. It's a really nice campground, but I have a problem with the fact that the whole freaking campground is wireless internet enabled. Are you kidding me?!?! It's camping! There's no internet in camping!!
Please. When we camped, we camped like troopers. There was sand in the tent and we had to wash all the dishes in a little bin and there were disgusting bugs in the bathroom stalls. Clearly that was the good old days of camping.

In other news, my dog spends 23 of the 24 hours in a day puking.

Penny Estelle







































Here's our new dog Penny. I think that she's part Jack Russell, part Beagle, but I have no real dog-spertise, so that could be a total lie.
Equally as fun as having Penny in the house is watching Rob with Penny, such as this afternoon when I found him on all fours in the kitchen with Penny, 'demonstrating' where her food dish was. Maybe I would be the one to buy her a dog outfit, but Rob would be the one to put her in a stroller and take her for a walk. He'll deny it, but he's a total pushover for the dog.
Penny doesn't make any noise, including any barks. We haven't heard her bark yet. I think Ursula may have stolen her voice. Poor unfortunate soul.

P.S. Did my avatar get a boob job without asking me?!?

Two Stories, both alike in dignity...

Get it? GET IT?
Oh god, that was so geeky.

Here are two stories I thought about while running.

(1) You know how on CSI everything is a clue? Like, for instance, the 2cm shard of glass will lead you to the abandoned car with the blood of the killer? Right. CSI would never crack my case, because I do too many stupid, illogical things.
For instance, today when I went running, I didn't have any pockets so I couldn't bring my house key, but I had to lock the house, which I can't do except from the outside. So, I took my keys, locked the door and then locked them in my car.
Probably, had I been killed while running, they would have noticed my keys missing when they investigated my apartment. Then they would be on the key trail, they would think it's a clue, and when they found them in my car, they would be like "Why did she put them in the car? Was she leaving them for someone? Was she afraid someone would break into the apartment?"
When really, I probably just got hit by a car and none of that was any clue whatsoever.
Which reminds me, I totally saw a high speed car chase today! It was sweet

(2) Story number 2 is about Running Man, the man, the mystery, the enigma. Running man is a little like the penguin in Billy Madison and a little like the good angel/conscience on your shoulder thing.
Today, I'm a half mile from my house and I am so proud of myself because I have been lazy lately, but here I am 6.5 miles into a really hilly run. And I see The Hill coming. A half mile from my house is the biggest hill known to man. You could fall over backwards walking up it.
Okay, that's a lie.
But, it's BIG.
So I see it and I say to myself, "Laura. You have done so well today. You don't have to do The Hill. Take a break, walk the last half mile."
And there, coming down the side street, is Running Man.
Running Man is a Kalamazoo staple.
He is everywhere, everyday, and he is always, always running. Dude has been around since I was a freshman at Western, running like there's no tomorrow. Rain, Snow, Sleet, Earthquake, Running Man is running.
Running man is also approximately 65 years old and puts me to shame in every respect.
Does Running Man, turning off the side street, start walking up the hill?
Hells no, Running Man starts trucking it up The Hill.
DAMN YOU, RUNNING MAN! WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS PUT ME TO SHAME???
Like I'm going to start walking when running man, old enough to be my grandfather is booking it?
So I start running up the hill.
Yeah, that doesn't last.
WHO ARE YOU, RUNNING MAN? Where do you live? Do you have a job that doesn't involve running? Don't you ever get tired??
Just when I'm about to give up, you show up and push me just a little farther.
Come on, Laura, you can do it! I'm 65 and I do it with a smile! Run, Laura, Run!
I made it half way.
And so now I ask you:
Running Man. Guardian Angel? Manifestation of my conscience? or Arch Nemesis?

Revenge Of the Sea Creatures

Is this not the second or third story about a sea creature attacking a person in the last few months? I am telling you, the sea creatures are hatching a plan to kill us all. This is probably how the dinosaurs went. Bewaaaaarrreee the sea creatures.

Dude

Do you remember in elementary school when you'd say 'dude' and then another kid would be like "Do you know what a dude is? It's a hair on an elephant's butt!".

That is so stupid. Like someone would really spend the time to come up with a name for a hair on an elephant's butt? Why wouldn't they just say "elephant butt hair"?

I am here to tell you that there is no record of "dude" meaning that, according to my ultimate source of knowledge, Wikipedia.

Of course, I'm not sure why I really take that seriously at all, considering "shut up" was also supposed to mean "meet me in bed in five minutes."

... it doesn't mean that, right?

Please.

When at your local self-service beverage restaurant, please do not turn down buying a pop, get a glass for water and then fill the water glass with pop. It makes you look horribly cheap when you are, in fact, probably a nice person.

I Don't Get Into YouTube So Much, But... This Is Funny.

Plus, you know I feel the same way about Zach Braff.

The Wave and The Sixties

Update: Today, I saw my fox friend fishing for the first time. I'm glad he's branching out and trying new things. Although, he continues to eat all of his meals alone, despite the hungry tortise who lives across the pond from him, whom, I believe, would make an excellent dinner companion.

I am here today to talk about the wave. Not that retarded thing you do at sporting events. The Wave, as in, someone slows down and stops or holds back traffic in order to let you go.
Listen up. You always, ALWAYS, under ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, give someone the wave when they have performed such a monumental act of traffic kindness on your behalf. You don't just go, you ass. When you do that, when you go without so much as a wave, it makes me want to take it back. I sit and my car and yell at you (though you can't hear me) "NO PROBLEM, BUDDY, DON'T MENTION IT!" And then, next time, when I see someone waiting to go, I remember your non-wave, and I don't stop.
You, non-wavers, are single-handedly making the world a nastier place. Also, you are somehow causing global warming, though I can't pinpoint exactly how.

Disclaimer: Of course, the exception to this is in NY, where I feel lucky if I don't get honked at before the light turns green. You carry on with your non-wave NY, I think a wave would ruin your image.
BUT EVERYONE ELSE WAVES, GOT IT?

I'd also like to talk about the music of the 60's. I feel cheated, frankly. Sixties music is awesome and actually good. And what did I get? I got "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". Not good enough.
But I do feel fortunate that I'm not growing up now, because today's music is mostly whiny and crap-o, with a few exceptions. Good god, listen to how old I'm getting. Turned down that damned music, you kids! I'm two seconds away from chasing someone with a broom.
I made the sweetest 60's Mix cd on ITunes.

And lastly, a story about a lady at work. Seriously, she's the nicest lady in the entire world. But, for some reason, she insists on trying to talk to the kids in their 'lingo', if you will. For instance:
Kid: I can't fill this out right now, I'm gonna miss my bus.
Her: Oh, don't worry, just sit down and fill it out and I'll take you ho.. I mean, I'll take you to the crib.
I laugh hysterically when this happens. She's got to be sixty. Again, I love her, but it's got to stop.

I KNEW it!

Don't try to play me out, Cadbury! I've been there since Day 1. You think you could slip that by?
Okay. So I haven't been there since Day 1, persay. But I've been a lifelong fan.
Shame on you.
You can send me the other 15% via the US Postal Service at your convenience.

BTW- Turns out the lymphnode was, in fact, just a lymphnode. I didn't get a picture, sorry. What I did get was a postcard in the mail from my doctor with the test results, asking me if I wanted to have surgery done to remove the lymphnode. Think I'll go ahead and forgo the surgery, thank you.

So, I heard back from Tin House. I did not get the scholarship (which means I'm not going), but the lady did call me and say that I was one of only a handful of finalists, and that, had they not run out of money, they would have offered me a scholarship.
That's nice to hear, even if I didn't get it.
Probably though, I'll go ahead and go when I win the Michigan Millionare Raffle in April, since I'll be a million dollars richer and all.

Here's my new fun video recorder toy, plus me and Jen and Ryan bottling wine for their wedding:

Simple Things..

This is Lily and her boyfriend Matt. This is literally the only picture I took, in St. Louis and it's of their backs. I hope someone is around to tell me about my life when I'm old, because I certainly have no proof of anything I did.

On google, you can customize your homepage to be all the links to things that you want to read. And now you can also give your page a theme. For instance, I chose the theme with the fox who appears to be of asian descent. So there's this screen at the top of the page and it has my little fox friend. On one side of the screen is his orange orchard, in the middle is a little pond, and on the left is his little house built on stilts in the water.
I have developed an unhealthy attachment to my fox friend.
Depending on what time of day it is, he's always doing different things when you go there.
For instance, in the morning, he likes to pick oranges on a ladder in his orchard.
Around mid-day he's often washing his clothes in the river or enjoying his little picnic lunch with chopsticks.
At the end of the day, my fox friend likes to sit on his deck and play his banjo for the ducks.

This is becoming a problem. I really feel like he's my friend.
I visit often to see what he's up to.

Here are a couple of Easter pictures. I'm really trying hard to take more pictures but I'm a little lame at it.

Here I Am

Here's a story about the airport. The flight from St. Louis to O'Hare is fine. Then, the flight from O'Hare to Kalamazoo gets delayed. And then it gets cancelled. So they say "Your flight has been cancelled, please go to the customer service desk at Gate A4"
So we go there. We're waiting in line for about 15 minutes when the customer service rep behind the counter grabs his coat and says, "Excuse me everyone. As of right now, our shift is over. We don't know if anyone is coming to take our places, so you'll have to go the customer service counter in the C terminal."
Are you kidding me?
It was really kind of unreal.
Long story short, I flew into Detroit instead and my parents came and picked me up and then we went to a restaurant that friends of my parents own and it was really fun.

St. Louis was really fun. We went to the zoo and Dave and Busters, and ate out a lot and watched a lot of TV. Including The Hills, which I have never seen. This show... is barely tolerable. It's all the people from Laguna Beach. I think this little exchange just about sums it up.
Guy: So what did you do all day?
Girl: Oh, just went to work.
Guy: Oh! I'm sorry, I forgot you work.

Like people working is such a foreign concept. Except, it is.
The show is like a freaking car wreck that you just can't look away from.

This is all I have to report for now.