Come on, I didn't even have to try to come up with something good...

So I arrive at the party. I go over the rules (ix-nay on the nudity, no lube outside the space, etc.). The hosts are really nice. At one point in time, lube actually touched me and I couldn't stop feeling icky from then on. Then the lights are turned off, they fashion themselves some fig-leaf like covers out of cardboard and wrap themselves in saran wrap. They all have these nasty umbilical-like concoctions made of wire and wax paper and they cover themselves in lube and seem to think it's amusing to hit each other with their umbilical cords. Whatever. It's wierd.
Have you ever had an idea, and you think it's going to be so great and you get everyone excited about it, but when you finally get there and you're doing what you were so excited about, you realize it really isn't that great- but then, you have to pretend it's a blast, because you've built it up so much and it would be totally embarrassing to be like "Oh. This actually isn't fun."
That's what this felt like. After 15 minutes it was like "Okay. We're wrapped in saran wrap hitting each other with fake umbilical cords. Now what?"
I was thinking, "This cannot possibly go on for 2 hours."
And it didn't.
Because after an hour, one of our naked saran wrapped friends slipped on a big puddle of root beer and fell face first into the cement floor. We called security. They called an ambulance. The saran wrap was torn off of him by his friends and replaced with boring old jeans and he was taken away in a stretcher. Naked umbilical cord boy is currently at the hospital getting stitches put into his eyebrow.
Like I always say, "It's all saran-wrappy fun and games, till someone gets a concussion."