There's this site called overheardinny.com, where people write in funny things they heard people say. It's hours of entertainment. I think this is my favorite.

"I am going to learn Aramaic so Jesus can understand me."
--Central Park

Also, this..

Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a f**king turtle connoisseur?

--Canal & West Broadway