I think this is what it would be like to grocery shop on acid...

We went to the scariest place ever yesterday. We barely made it out alive. So there's this 'grocery store' (I use the term loosely) that we drive by all the time, but it's like, way up on the hill and I just see the sign. But yesterday I bought this wine holder thing for the fridge, and I wanted to try it out, but for some reason, you cannot find wine anywhere around us after like, 7pm, but I knew this place had a wine area. So I say "Let's Go."
It was like, Grocery Store Disney Land. First of all, there are people EVERYWHERE. On the outside portion, it's all local food, as well as a snack bar that serves full dinners as well as hotdogs, hamburgers, ice cream, clam chowder.
Whatever, fine.
So we go inside. The place is not set up like a grocery store where there are aisles right next to one another. It's a maze. You have to go through the entire thing to get out, and if you forget something, you have to walk all the way back to the beginning. The first thing that bothers me- the 10 foot singing Chiquita Banana dis
play. But, I'm thinking, "oh, this is this place's big draw, people come here for the dancing banana."
No.
As I came to the milk section, there was a giant cow mooing above us. In the water section there was a 10 foot pine tree that sang "Sip, sip, sip. Glug, glug, glug. I love water, now give me a hug!" Halfway through the store a giant straw shack is built- it says 'sushi' above the door and all the foods from around the world are in there. There was a band of Bears playing Banjos above the salad bar and a electric train flying above the check out line.
So I was almost done, but all I needed was a can of cream corn for the corn chowder we were making. At this point I realize I haven't seen a single can of anything the entire time I've been there, and I know I'm in trouble, but I decide to ask anyways. So I find the info lady and I'm like "Is there any canned corn here?" and she gives me this laugh and she's like "Oh, no! There's nothing in cans here! This is all Farm Fresh Foods!"
Which is cool, except when you need something in a can.
What, like I'm going to cream the damn corn myself? I'm thinking no.