2 of Many Reasons I'm Actually Too Dumb to be a Receptionist

(1) Sometimes, when I'm on the phone and at my computer, the recording on the phone will say "Press 2 for Blabity Blah", and then I'll press the 2 on my keyboard instead of on my phone and it takes me quite a while to figure out why nothing is happening. This happens more often than I'd like to admit.

(2) When I have to dial a number like "1-800-4-Sallie", I'll get to the "S", and I'm so used to texting that I'll hit the "7" three times to get the "S", like you would in texting. My phone numbers end up being 2,000 digits long.

Man, I'm almost sick of being right about this whole sea/water creatures trying to kill us all thing.

Know what's nast? When you drink wine on the deck and all kinds of bugs die in your glass and then you have to fish them out with a spoon. Not that I do that. Ever.
It would be best if you didn't mention how many diseases bugs carry, because then I would look up the symptoms of those diseases and decide I have all of them. Which, actually, is a disease I caught from Sar.

My new story is choice. Which is a word that the Irish boys used a lot. It's possible I was born to live in Ireland. Where they have cool words like 'choice', instead of 'sweet', which I'm tired of. Also, they say "Your man" instead of "That guy", as in "Your man J.D. Salinger is choice".
Everything in Ireland is better.

I stole this picture from Jackie's blog. I think it's cute. I also think that this is right before we stuffed 10 house keys into our dresses. Sure, I could explain that. But it's more fun not to.

More to Come About the Wedding

But for now, here are Mr. and Mrs. Ryan and Jennifer

I would like you to read this article from my favorite hometown newspaper, The Davison Index. Now that you've read it, disregard most of the story. What I want to go back to is this little section:

When the children achieved the goal, we gave them a "reward" of an all-school picnic and a hot-air balloon ride for the principal and some of us in the PTO, lifting right off the playground.

Sooo... the reward for the kids was watching you take a hot air balloon ride? While they stayed on the ground? It must have been hard to contain themselves.
I'm glad I'm not at your house on Christmas morning.

Yet Another Reason I Didn't Last as an Aerobics Instructor

Yesterday, my bodypump instructor says, and I quote:
"Man, I had to drive eight hours last night, I didn't get home till three in the morning! So, you know, I was stopping every half hour stuffing my face with candy. No, I'm kidding, I didn't. But I did buy pretzels (hangs head in shame). I couldn't help myself."

Hold up. You're feeling bad because you ate pretzels? I congratulate myself for making the healthy choice when I get pretzels. Pllllease be serious. Working at a gym was lame because no one ever wanted to go out for ice cream afterwards.

I've Been Lame...

But here's the catch-up post.

1. Jen's Bachelorette Party.
I went through the pictures and there aren't a lot that I can actually put on here, because I was sworn to secrecy. Seriously, I was. I signed something.
Here are a few that aren't incriminating.




































































2. Rob's Bday party
A cake fight. Naturally.















This is a picture of Rob dancing. I put this in here because Rob claims that I dance like Daphne from Scooby Doo. I think it's pretty clear from this picture who belongs in the Mystery Machine.




















3. Father's Day/Erin's Bday.
Erin loves cake.

















Chloe, my parents new puppy. Oh, and Bad Danny.




















5. Penny in a Hawaiian Shirt.



















6. How to Cheat At Scrabble and Rob Doesn't Even Notice

Two Life Lessons, One Better Said Than The Other (But Both of Equal Importance)

(1) This is nice. It's by Barbara Kingsolver.
“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for.
And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a
distance but live right in it, under its roof. What I want is so simple I
almost can’t say it: elementary kindness. Enough to eat, enough to go
around. The possibility that kids might one day grow up to be neither the
destroyers nor the destroyed. That’s about it…”
(from Animal Dreams)

(2) And from my own personal wisdom:
I don't know about you, but I wear workout pants to bed. They're comfortable. Tonight I took Penny outside around 8. I was writing out on my deck, so I was already in my pjs. I was also wearing a shirt that said "When you're Irish, it's hard to sing with an empty glass." And I ran into my massage therapist. I would estimate that my massage therapist is approximately a size 00. When she's bloated. She and her well-defined boyfriend were out walking their sporty dog. She was looking effortlessly cute in some little shorts.
I won't lie to you, it didn't make me feel good.
My life lesson to you, friends, is try not to be wearing spandex when you run into people who are a size 00.
Penny did nip at her dog, which just furthered my belief that Penny and I are soul mates.

P.S. Curious what my favorite Billy Joel song is?
It's "Only the Good Die Young"
Erin's is "Keepin the Faith"
Please let me know what yours is, via the comments

Part of the definition of addict, I think, is that you need it so bad that you come up with tons of crazy ways to get it. I've started feeling guilty about buying so many lattes, so here is how I've paid for my lattes this week, without actually using my bank account.

Sunday- Used a frequent buyer punch card.
Monday- Asked the girl at another place if they had a frequent buyer punch card. She said "No, but we give out these from time to time instead" and gave me a card for a Free Large Drink. Remembered her face so I could ask the same question to someone else and get another free card
Tuesday- Took back the bottles
Wednesday- Stole $5 from Rob.
I'm eyeing my piggy bank for the rest of the week, but I can't find a grocery store with one of those Coinstar machines and I'm not desperate enough to roll it myself yet.

Rob said no to an espresso machine. He's only hurting himself.

Penny had her first day of Obedience School today. We're going to need a 504 plan.

Aw, look at my avatar, she's going to Prom! You look so beautiful, avatar, you're going to have the time of your life! Ha. Just kidding. You're going to drink bad punch and dance to "Here and Now". You do look nice, though.

Sara and I went and saw Knocked Up the other night. I thought it was going to be cute but pretty predictable, but it was actually really REALLY good. I highly recommend it.