Why You Should Be Poor

So, we used to go out with Ryan and Jen and have drinks like twice a week, but since we've moved to New York we are way too poor to go out and drink. No, actually we are too poor to even buy alcohol. But today, we get this rebate check for $6.50 from Charter because we overpayed them a few months ago, and I'm all like sweet! let's get some of those Smirnoff Twisted things No folks, the patheticness of this situation does not escape me. But anyhow, we get some and I'm drinking one and I call my sister and after a while, I'm having trouble forming sentences and my tongue is starting to feel all big. And I look at my bottle and it's only half gone. Yes my friends, It's been so long since I drank that I got tipsy off of half of a wine cooler. This is why you should aspire to be poor. I could get tipsy for the next six nights and only spend $8. Ha.:)