Dispatches from the library

1:39 p.m.- Someone on the other side of the room is doing that thing where you try to suck the snot out of your nose in much the same was as you gather spit to hock a giant loogie. Over and over again. It's so loud and I'm going to throw up.

1:59 p.m.- Have added page numbers to my paper. Am unhappy to see that the pages go to '11' and not '15', as had hoped. Also, am clearly updating to avoid further work which is nonetheless imminent. Also, have used the word 'imminent' in a sentence.

3:34 p.m.- Read an article on MSN Money that says you shouldn't tip the postman this holiday season.