Stories from The Mitten

1. I'm quitting my job and dedicating my life to this site.
Unrelated to The Mitten

2. Why are Jen and Lola so sad looking? Lola and Jen are looking sad because, in The Mitten, it snows in October. Great day for a 5K


















After the race, while we were waiting for Rob to pick us up, we met a limo driver who told us all about how they have a new process for cremation. They fill you with liquid nitrogen and then they put you on a vibrating table and you basically disintegrate. Just a little bit of friendly Saturday morning small talk.

3. Conversation I had today:
"Hey, Miss W., can you call somebody up for me?"
"Do you have a pass to be in here?"
"No."
"Go back to class."
"Aww, Miss W., can't I just kick it in here wit you?"
"No. Go kick it in class."

4. So I get this message the other day, and it's Sar telling me that she is telling someone The Carnie Story (yes, it's epic enough to be capitalized). Let me tell you The Carnie Story.

It all starts on Jenn's 19th birthday. If you're not from The Mitten, than you're probably unaware that Canada and the 19-year-old drinking age is a mere 45 minutes away. So, for Jenn's bday she wants to go to Canada. We go.
As a public service announcement, I would like to note that we had a designated driver.
I cannot tell you this portion of the story because it's inappropriate. Not because of anything I did, just inappropriate in general. Suffice it to say, we went to this nasty bar. Vomitous. We went to a vomitous bar. And, something happened to my eye so that the entire way home it was watering uncontrollably. We were a hot mess, collectively.

A week later, between Sara and I, we somehow decide we should go to the summer carnival. So we go, I'm a disaster, I'm wearing my glasses because something is clearly wrong with my eye. If you've never seen me in my glasses, just think magnifying glass. Anyhow, we're walking around and Sara sees this guy and she says "Why do I know that guy?"
I don't know this guy.
Eventually, she can't stand it anymore and she goes up to him and says "Why do I know you?"
He doesn't know her, but they get to talking.
Where do you think she saw this guy?
Just guess. Abandon all reason and guess.
This guy was in that nast-o club the week before. Yes, we have now run into a guy from a Canadian club at the Davison carnival.
But, this guy is from the other side of the state, what is he doing in rinky-dink Davison?
He's a pseudo-carnie.
He travels from carnival to carnival, blowing up the moonwalk and then taking it down.
And Carnie's got the hots for Sara, baby.
Carnie says to Sar "Hey, you guys want to go get something to eat?"
Now don't let the collectivity of 'you guys' fool you. I am only being invited because it's clear that Sara and her crazy bug-eyed friend happen to be traveling together. Perhaps he thinks it's some type of Big Brothers/Big Sisters thing.
I ask you, what does Sara, my best friend for ever and ever say?
Sara says yes.
We are going out for dinner with carnies.
We go to Archies.
Sara and Carnie McCarno chat it up.
I sit there and burn holes in newspaper with my glasses.
At the end, Carnie buys Sara's dinner.
I buy my own dinner.
Because Carnie don't love me.

Sara, to this day, has not adequately repaid me for the amazing feat of stick-by-you friendship displayed that night.
It's okay, Sar. Sometimes words just can't say how much you care. You know what would say "I love you" though? One of those giant Scooby-Doos from the ring toss. And maybe and airbrushed shirt.

5. And, lastly. My feeling is that Francine Prose has an unfair advantage at writing because her name means writing. It's like saying "Writing is my middle name", only your serious. There's a Spanish teacher at my school who's last name is French, and last time I went in there, the kids were pretty loud and weren't really listening. My feeling is that this is because she should actually be teaching French, and that's what happens when you fight destiny. Considering all of this, I'm looking to marry someone with the last name "Worksalldayforalotofmoneysomywifecanhangoutandreadandwrite".