Give My Regards To Broadway

So I'm on the elyptical machine today. And this kid comes in and gets on another elyptical, and first of all, he gets on the one right next to me despite the fact that there are 5 others to the right of me that are open. That always really irritates me. Why do people do that? So they can be really close to other sweaty people? Anyhow, so I'm all doing my elyptical, and I start to notice that any time I speed up a little, the kid next to me speeds up, and then looks over at me. And I'm going, are you racing me, buddy? But I thought maybe It was a conicidence. So I speed up a little more, and guy next to me kicks it into high gear, and I SWEAR TO YOU, he's looking over at me. So I laugh, which I shouldn't have done, but it was damn funny. And the whole time, you know how you kind of pump your arms. like when you're running? He's doing that, but his fingers are spread out, like he's got Spirit Fingers. He looked like a broadway dancer, with his spirit fingers and rapid leg pumping movements. You know what it kind of reminded me of? In Zoolander, where they have the model walk-off thing. I think if I would have stayed just a little longer I could have gotten him really worked up and he may have broken into a stirring rendition of "New York, New York" or maybe something from Cats, he looked like a Cats kind of guy. That reminds me of a story. When I was little my best friend was Megan Bennett and she loved the musical Cats, she had probably seen it a million trillion times. So she named all of her cats after cats from the musical. But they all died. Jenny-Enny-Dots (sorry if that isn't right, I've never seen it, the thought of watching gigantic Cats dance together terrifies me) died when a chain link fence she was trying to dig under fell on her. But you never ever brought it up, because it was this like, really touchy no-no subject. Grisabella (?) was fine until she started to pee all over the basement and then she was.. disposed of. There were a few others, but those are the only ones I remember. So the moral of the story is... cats are evil. And so are broadway dancers. And broadway dancers exercising like freaks. And I feel like the biggest moral is, if you've got the money to see a Broadway show... don't pick Cats, okay? There are so many good shows out there (that I will never see, because I can't even afford to rent them...). I feel like we've all learned a lot here today.