Rusty Pipe Pedicure and Other Salon Stories

Current Mood: Mmm, strawberries are good.
Currently Playing: The Very Best of Ray Charles

So I told you awhile ago about how I won that gift certificate to that salon, so I decided to go use it today. First of all, it was the sweetest thing ever, the most I've ever had done was a manicure- today I had a manicure, pedicure, mini-facial, deep conditioning, and hairstyle. All for free! Anyhow, so she does my nails, and she must have clipped a freaking pound of dead skin off my cuticles, but then she starts doing my feet. I feel bad that she has to touch my feet. I tell her "yeah, sorry..." but she doesn't speak any english. What can I say, my feet are gross, I have bad running shoes, so my feet slide around in there and I get calluses. So she does my toenails and then she starts looking at the balls of my feet. She takes out that big foot scrubby thing that's supposed to get the calluses off. It's not working. So she opens this drawer and out comes this new tool. The thing looks like a sawed off rusty pipe, seriously. I think it was actually sandpaper wrapped around something. And she starts going at it, like putting some freaking elbow grease into it. After a while she just gives up, because those calluses aren't going anywhere. Then she takes all the tools she used and throws them into the foot bath like they're diseased now that they've touched me.
Then she did my facial. That was wierd as hell. At one point I think she tried to smother me. She had this really super hot towel and she put it over my entire face and pressed down, and then she pressed down on the sides of my nose and I'm like "I can't breathe. Why is this lady trying to kill me?" She kept standing like two feet away and spraying something on my face. It was completely surreal, I had to stop myself from laughing the entire time. Also, at some point in time during the facial my purse caught on fire. But no one bothered to tell me. She puts this steam machine on and turns off the lights and leaves the room and I start smelling something buring, but it smelled kind of electrical and I'm thinking, must just be an old machine or something and I forgot all about it. Later, she comes in and I hear her pick up my purse and throw it on the chair, but again, I'm just like, oh, must have been in the way. Later, she's doing my hair and I'm looking at my purse and it looks really dirty on one side, all black, and I'm like "when did I get it that dirty? Oh well, I'll have to wash it" Then I notice that the zipper handle that used to be about four inches long is now an inch long and completely black. Anyhow, it melted the zipper too so now I can't open up the front pockets, which is cool since there's stuff in there. I like to think that if I saw someone's purse smoldering I'd let them in on it, but maybe that's not a universal feeling.
So that's that.
Tomorrow Rob and I are going out to celebrate being legally bound to one another for a year without inflicting bodily harm upon each other. The emotional scars though, they run deep.
Also, I just got "The Very Best of Ray Charles" from the library and I'm listening to it right now. Do you have songs that you can't listen to without crying all over yourself like a freaking sissy? "Georgia On My Mind" totally does that to me. When we went to see the Ray movie I got all teary. Other songs that do that to me include "The Scientist" by Coldplay and that "Hallelujah" song by Jeff Buckley. You should leave comments about what your weepy songs are, it'll be fun...