Dude

Do you remember in elementary school when you'd say 'dude' and then another kid would be like "Do you know what a dude is? It's a hair on an elephant's butt!".

That is so stupid. Like someone would really spend the time to come up with a name for a hair on an elephant's butt? Why wouldn't they just say "elephant butt hair"?

I am here to tell you that there is no record of "dude" meaning that, according to my ultimate source of knowledge, Wikipedia.

Of course, I'm not sure why I really take that seriously at all, considering "shut up" was also supposed to mean "meet me in bed in five minutes."

... it doesn't mean that, right?