I'd rather puke then have any more birthday fun

I have once again been subjected to the most awkward of all social situations, the office party. In the office I work in they bring in a cake for everyone's birthday and then everyone from all the other offices around it come in and sing. I like the people in my office, but all the other people are just kind of.. wierd. So anyways, they bring in the cake and then everyone starts singing and who evers birthday it is acts all surprised, and I'm going, you are SO NOT SURPRISED, they do this for everyone's birthday! But then they cut the cake and everyone eats and horrible, unbearably awkward conversation ensues.
"So, this is good cake."
"Yeah, really good cake."
"Yeah, where is this one from?"
"The grocery store"
"Oh yeah? I really like Fleetwood Bakery, have you heard of that one before?" (Everyone nods, because they all have, because this same conversation takes place at every birthday)
"So, is it, uh.. made from a pound cake base?"
"Yeah, yeah, it tastes like pound cake."
Awkward quiet pause.
"So, uh, (person who's birthday it is), how old are you now?"
"I'm 29 again"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"How was your actual birthday?"
"Oh.. good...tiring" (seriously?)
Passing out of cake continues and skinny four foot boss lady refuses it, makes yet another joke about how she's getting fat, everyone insists she try the cake, she refuses.
Guy with Harry Potter glasses asks for another piece and cake lady cuts it. Harry Potter says "oh, no, no, no, that's way too big", finally accepts the piece and then devours the whole thing.
"So.. did you hear about that guy in (insert place)who (insert horrible act)"
"NO! Did they catch him?"
"yeah, yeah."
"Oh, I have an aunt who lives out there."
"oh yeah?"
A surefire sign that the party is winding down is when Creepy Office Guy That I Avoid At All Costs says "So, who's birthday is next?"
"Oh I think it's (lady who refuses to tell people when her birthday is)"
"Oh no, no, I don't celebrate birthdays"
"Wait till we find out when your birthday is, you've got all these birthdays we haven't celebrated yet, we're going to have to have a party every two weeks to make up for it"
ha.
"Well, I can promise you all I'm older than you."
Conversation about who's oldest ensues.
Cool lady from office next door has some mercy on me and breaks awkward silence of people pretending to eat when really there's nothing left on their plates by saying "Well, (so and so), happy birthday" and everyone shuffles out the door
Current mood: All partied out.
Currently playing: Jack "Go buy my new CD, it's so awesome" Johnson, Banana Pancakes