This is the post where I get all high and mighty about Halloween

I feel like kids are totally lame when it comes to Halloween nowadays. For instance, back in my day, if we wanted to be a witch, we went to the store, we picked out a cape, and a hat, and we stole a broom from home, etc., etc. and we did face makeup and all of that. And then, if it was cold, which it always was, your parents made you wear a black jogging suit under your cape, which totally cramped your witch vibe. But that's cool.
Obviously, you have to buy some stuff from the store, but not a prepackaged, already put together all-in-one costume. Today, if kids want to be Bob the Builder, they go to the store and pick up the package that says "Contains 1 Bob the Builder" costume. But it's not even REAL CLOTHES. It's this little synthetic fabric onesie thing that you step into and it's got a picture of Bob the Builder's clothes printed on it, and you tie it up in the back and BAM! you're Bob the Builder.
WHERE IS YOUR IMAGINATION, CHILDREN??
If you want to be Bob the Builder, go get some overalls and a checkered shirt, get a hammer and hang it from your belt and get a hard hat. NOW you're Bob the Builder. None of this pansy onepiece no creativity nonsense. Where is the effort??
Listen, kids, you're on notice. Halloween is a priviledge, not a right. If you're going to continue to be lame and not put any effort into Halloween, my generation is going to take it back and give it to the generation after you. Don't make me do it.