I reserve all my cheating for Monopoly, thank you....

Joe, I maintain that I did not cheat that time. My cunning Clue skills are world renowned.
So, tomorrow and tuesday are "October Study Days" at SLC (Read: made up reason to take two days off). At the school offices they get one day off, half the staff works Monday and half work Tuesday. But obviously, everyone wants Monday off so they can have a three day weekend, so my boss asked me to work on Monday so everyone in the office could get it off. This is going to be sweet. Here's what I do: (1) Get paid $10/hour. (2) answer the phone and since I dont know the answer to any of the questions, say "The person that can help you with that will be in tomorrow, I'll leave them your name and have them call you back". (3) Work on homework/writing/reading all day, which is what I was going to be doing anyways, only for free.
In other news, I have freaking horrible posture, but everytime I notice and try to correct it I realize how uncomfortable it is to sit up so straight and just go back to slouching.
Kalamazoo people-here is my idea- Rob and I are going to be there for New Years Eve, and we were thinking it might be fun to go to the Food Dance New Years Eve party thing- it's fifty bucks a person and you have a five course meal with it. It starts at like 7ish and is over by 10ish and then we could go out and do other stuff. It is a little expensive, but I thought it might be fun to dress up and go out together- anybody interested in that? I know, it's two months away but you have to get tickets a little bit early. If people aren't really all that excited about that idea, that's cool, but let me know what you think....
Does anyone else watch Desperate Housewives? It's really really good. I might even say better than the Apprentice.
Well, that's all I've got right now. I spent all day playing Monopoly with Rob, so really I'm having trouble coming up with a lot of interesting discussion...

Monopoly

So Rob and I played Monopoly last night. And I kicked his ass. And I cheated, so so bad. I was all landing on his property and he didn't notice, and I was mortgaging property and then not paying it back and still charging rent and developing it. It was so great. Until Rob got mad because he was losing so bad and I was forced to tell him how I cheated. But anyhow. I haven't played Monopoly since I was really young and we used to play it with the Edwards down the street. So, turns out when we played it then, we didn't play by the rules at all. Who knew? I thought that when you landed on free parking you got all the money from Community Chest that was in the middle, and I had never ever mortgaged anything until last night. And all this other stuff. Did we just make up our own rules or something? Probably. So that's all. We're having a rematch now and Rob's going to watch closely this time, so its not going to be any fun.

Shoop, Shoop, Shoop, Shoop.. SAAAAYYYY! Shoop, Shoo-be-doooooo

Guess what I'm watching? Oh yeah, Waiting to Exhale on Bravo. Rob is lovin it.

You know how when a game is really close, some fans can't watch it because it makes them too nervous? That's how I feel about the election. Here is a sight that's kind of cool, it shows whos winning by electoral votes. But yesterday, it had Kerry winning Florida and Bush winning Ohio, and now apparently new polls say it's the other way around. I don't think I believe that polls are all that accurate when it's this close.

The Apprentice, Writing, and Why American Lit Class Irritates Me

First of all, I love The Apprentice.
I know its bad. But its so so good. How did I get sucked into this? I have absolutely no interest in business. Stacy got kicked off tonight, finally, I couldnt stand her- I really can't imagine who would hire her to be their lawyer.
Moving on, I'm working on a new story and I'm really excited about it. I wrote the first draft in the past two weeks and it wasn't really clicking together.. and so I obsessed about it for a while, and avoided it and complained about it and drank about 20 diet cokes... and then I got this great idea and wrote fifteen pages in the last 24 hours. It involves Michigan and fruitstands and adultery, all the elements of a good story. And, of course, I kill someone off in it.
Also on my list of new obsessions- The Daily Show. Could John Stewart be the funniest man alive? I'm thinking yes.
On to other things- American Lit Class annoys me sometimes.. which is sad because I really like reading the books and talking about them, but without fail someone will read waaaaayyy too much into it. Okay yes, sometimes there are symbols and things in there, but sometimes people are just looking way too hard. People, it is neither a treasure hunt nor a conspiracy plot. If the writer wanted you to see something, they'll drop enough hints so you get if you're reading closely. BUT SOMETIMES, ITS JUST NOT THERE. Please, please stop because you annoy the hell out of me.
I carved my pumpkin last week, but it's too warm in my apartment so it molded over. Sad day.
We had split pea soup for dinner tonight. Wouldn't recommend it.
My niece is being a "Barbie Dinosaur" for Halloween. If you think you have ever seen a Barbie Dinosaur that may be cuter, you are sadly mistaken my friends. In regards to that, my sister and I can't figure out exactly what is so 'Barbie' about this dinosaur, and furthermore, since when was Barbie claiming she was around when Dinosaurs were alive? But you know, we're going with it.
Also, I talked to my little brother tonight. Hi Danny! And I talked to my parents. No, I haven't been on the phone all night, clearly I got off in time to watch The Apprentice.
And lastly, take Ryan's advice and go to the picture page and press 'back' and 'next' really fast and watch me do the robot!!

My Weekend

A few things-
First, my new job- well, I was 'security' at the Coming Out Dance. First, the highlights-
Best Girl Costume/Outfit- bright red hot pants, absolutely no top, Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker across her boobs.
Best Boy Costume/Outfit-A very short (less than five foot), very built African American gentleman with long dreads wearing bright red sequined biker shorts.
Most disturbing Girl outfit- Girl with no shirt and 'slave' painted on her chest being led around by her neckwith a leash by a guy with 'master' painted on his chest.
Most disturbing Boy outfit- patent leather butt cheek-showing shorts, no shirt, leather whip
I have now seen far too many people in thongs, garters, and corsets. The gross thing was, I was supposed to walk around the room and make sure there was nothing scandalous going on , so you know how when it's really crowded you kind of have to push past people. Yeah, it was that, only everyone was naked and sweaty. Nast.

Second- Me, Rob and Sara went and got pumpkins this weekend. I didnt do such a great job carving mine though. We're not going to have any trick-or-treaters here and that makes me sad.

Third- this is really cool, Sara showed it to me when she was here- you go to this site and it's for teachers who work in low-income schools and they write proposals for materials they need for their class or trips they want to take their class on. You can pick the one you like and pay for it, or if you're broke, you can just partially fund it and donate like $20 or something like that.

Fourth- Have you heard this "my goodies" song? The lyrics are "I know you want my goodies, I know you've thought about it. " 'Goodies' makes me think of baked goods.

Fifth- According to CNN, they think that Kerry is going to get Ohio. Good choice, Ohio.

Sixth- My sister hasn't bothered to call me all day. Clearly she no longer cares about me.

That's all. Happy new week.

So, I got a new...job?

Right, so I am now a Graduate Party Assistant, which means I go around campus and watch over the registered events- its just like, every other weekend or so. Anyhow. So I'm working at the Coming Out Dance this weekend... apparently this is a very big deal here... when the guy hired me he's like, okay, so people are going to show up naked. What? where do I go to school now? And then, a mass email was sent out to the students that said "the rules for the dance are you can not be nude (hint: t&a is okay)". Again, what? I will have a good blog to post after friday night...

Give My Regards To Broadway

So I'm on the elyptical machine today. And this kid comes in and gets on another elyptical, and first of all, he gets on the one right next to me despite the fact that there are 5 others to the right of me that are open. That always really irritates me. Why do people do that? So they can be really close to other sweaty people? Anyhow, so I'm all doing my elyptical, and I start to notice that any time I speed up a little, the kid next to me speeds up, and then looks over at me. And I'm going, are you racing me, buddy? But I thought maybe It was a conicidence. So I speed up a little more, and guy next to me kicks it into high gear, and I SWEAR TO YOU, he's looking over at me. So I laugh, which I shouldn't have done, but it was damn funny. And the whole time, you know how you kind of pump your arms. like when you're running? He's doing that, but his fingers are spread out, like he's got Spirit Fingers. He looked like a broadway dancer, with his spirit fingers and rapid leg pumping movements. You know what it kind of reminded me of? In Zoolander, where they have the model walk-off thing. I think if I would have stayed just a little longer I could have gotten him really worked up and he may have broken into a stirring rendition of "New York, New York" or maybe something from Cats, he looked like a Cats kind of guy. That reminds me of a story. When I was little my best friend was Megan Bennett and she loved the musical Cats, she had probably seen it a million trillion times. So she named all of her cats after cats from the musical. But they all died. Jenny-Enny-Dots (sorry if that isn't right, I've never seen it, the thought of watching gigantic Cats dance together terrifies me) died when a chain link fence she was trying to dig under fell on her. But you never ever brought it up, because it was this like, really touchy no-no subject. Grisabella (?) was fine until she started to pee all over the basement and then she was.. disposed of. There were a few others, but those are the only ones I remember. So the moral of the story is... cats are evil. And so are broadway dancers. And broadway dancers exercising like freaks. And I feel like the biggest moral is, if you've got the money to see a Broadway show... don't pick Cats, okay? There are so many good shows out there (that I will never see, because I can't even afford to rent them...). I feel like we've all learned a lot here today.

Umm...

So a third post for today..
I'm reading this news story at cnn.com
Go there and read it, it's about a girl who attacked her babysitter with a machete.
Troubling enough on it's own, but here's what's really bothering me-
"The altercation continued until the girl found the machete lying in the yard and began to chase the woman, who took refuge in the bathroom, Hubbard said."
..... I'm sorry... she found the machete in the yard? Righhhhhttt... god, people need to be more careful about leaving those machetes out where people can get them.
?
Between the Bush rally at the elementary school and the machete, it's been kind of a disturbing day...

Scared.

Why are the ELEMENTARY school kids on the playground across from my apartment shouting "Four more years"? Is this a sign of the apocalypse? I'm scared.

So.. it's Thursday.

I was on my way out to do all these errands- take books back to the library, work out, mail some stuff.. buuuuuttt.. it turns out Rob accidentally took my keys with him to work. So.. I'm doing nothing. I did just make myself some Cream of Wheat though.. ymmm.. you know whats the worst? when you make Cream of Wheat and then you're adding the milk and sugar and you put too much milk in... and then its all watery and it just ruins the whole thing. And after all that hard work.
I just remembered something last night. When I was little I had all the boring regular Barbies, but for some reason my sister got this cool Hawaiian Barbie named Miko. Every time we played Barbies I wanted to be Miko, but she never let me because face it, if you've got cool Hawaiian Barbie are you really going to share? On the other hand, I did get Peaches and Cream Barbie (Hey sickos! this was before 'peaches and cream' referred to anything other than actual, literal peaches and cream, so I dont want to hear the jokes, got it?) with pink sequin-ny formal dress, and I did have that cool Barbie-sized comforter made out of neon pink material and lace... but I would have traded them both for Miko. And you know what else? I had She-Ra Castle and a bunch of She-Ra dolls.. but my sister had the Blue Ice She-Ra doll that I always wanted too. Did my parents like my sister better?
Furthermore, Erin, I wanted to tell you about my ghetto window treatments because I knew it would make you cringe- So I go to work on my computer today but my desk is in front of the windows and it's like 8:30, so it's really bright. So I took those curtains you gave me and taped them up (yes, taped). But it was still way too bright, so I took one of those Bubble Mailer envelopes and taped it to my window to block out the sun. Thought you'd like that.
That's all for today...

Why You Should Be Poor

So, we used to go out with Ryan and Jen and have drinks like twice a week, but since we've moved to New York we are way too poor to go out and drink. No, actually we are too poor to even buy alcohol. But today, we get this rebate check for $6.50 from Charter because we overpayed them a few months ago, and I'm all like sweet! let's get some of those Smirnoff Twisted things No folks, the patheticness of this situation does not escape me. But anyhow, we get some and I'm drinking one and I call my sister and after a while, I'm having trouble forming sentences and my tongue is starting to feel all big. And I look at my bottle and it's only half gone. Yes my friends, It's been so long since I drank that I got tipsy off of half of a wine cooler. This is why you should aspire to be poor. I could get tipsy for the next six nights and only spend $8. Ha.:)

Ray Hearts Halloween

So our Super is this skinny muscley guy (Ray) who is all tough and whatnot, and he's always saying stuff like "a'ight" and "whadda you think?" and he constantly wears this Co-Ed Naked Firefighting shirt ("come slide down my pole"), usually for several days in a row, and he's usually to be found in the elevator, smoking a cigarette directly underneath the No Smoking sign and if you see him and you say hi there's only about a 50% chance that he'll say hi back- the other times he will either act as if you're not not alive or do that head-chin nod-jerk thing. Once, Rob was trying to be nice and make conversation and he's like "So, do you have another place on the weekends?" (because he lives in the building but he leaves on the weekends) and he kind of looks at rob and then he's like "yeah. I got a wife. I got a kid and I got a place in the Poconos. I mean, whadda you think?" And were like.. uh.. we dont know... So anyways, we come home from work the other day and there are Halloween decorations all over the lobby, and we're cracking up, cause we're picturing Ray out there hanging them up and Rob starts impersonating him in the elevator , saying "Yeah, I fuckin' love Halloween, I mean, whaddah you think? I love those fuckin' ghosts, all white and shit', they kill me. You know whadd'I mean?" So I'm all laughing and whatnot. And then we come home today. And there are more decorations. The lobby is pretty much covered now. There's a big banner and ghosts taped up in the elevator. Ray must really get into Halloween. (I mean, whadda you think, you know?)

Why I Can't Use Ebay

So Ebay, good in theory and all, but... I can't use it. Because I take it really personally when I get outbid. Like, for instance, this Joss Stone CD I bid on. I saw her video on MTV on Sunday or something and I really liked it, so I got on Ebay and found a CD that was going for $5.00, so I bid $5.50. With shipping it would be like $7.00, not too bad. And I didn't hear anything since then, and now, 5 hours before I win, someone comes in and bids higher than me. RUDE!! I've been bidding on this all week and now, right before it's over, you just swoop in and steal it from me? THERES A NAME FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU. SO.. I say, two people can play this. So I try to outbid them. Oh yeah, I went all wild and bid $6.50. AND THEY OUTBID ME AGAIN. You know what I have to say to you, new owner of a Joss Stone CD? There is a special place for people like you. Oh yeah, I hope you enjoy your music, live it up, because THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Seriously, people dont like people like you.

Edward P. Jones is reading at SLC tonight. He won the Pulitzer Prize last year. That's why I'm going, I feel like we have a lot in common-He won the Pulitzer Prize and I'm going to win it. I figure we have a lot to talk about. hee hee:) Seriously though, I'm reading his book right now and it's really good.
It's currently 8:21. I have class at 11:30. And yet, I'm trying to convince myself that I dont have enough time to workout.
Have everyone seen Mean Girls yet? I'm highly reccomending (sp?) it, it's completely hilarious.
As you can see I'm trying to kill time so that I actually wont have enough time to work out....

Why do people have to go and make my blood boil?

This is the letter I wrote to Budget. They're trying to screw me over.
Read it.

I was thinking that it would be funny if at the end I wrote
P.S. You're an assclown.
Rob didn't think that sounded very professional, so I left it out.

P.P.S. My sister is going to yell at me for saying assclown.
P.P.P.S. So is my dad. Sorry dad. I'm standing in the corner.

Writing Sample

So I'm taking this Craft of Nonfiction class (which I dont like, if you're curious) and each week we have to write a 300 word essay on something. This week we had to write about relatives.
Read my essay here.

ARE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE?
If not, you have one week from Saturday to do it!!
Thank you and have a nice day.
(I'm Laura W., and I approve this message)

From the Does This Ever Happen To You? files

So three times yesterday, I'm all cruising along in my car, listening to the radio ("Connecticut's soft contemporary 99.9... soft, but still contemporary") And I'm all loving the song which is soft, but by no means contemporary, and then I pull up to a stop light. And I get all embarrassed, because it's one thing to listen to Can You Feel the Love Tonight by yourself, but quite another when someone is next to you and could potentially look over and say "what the hell are you listening to?" So then I have to roll up my windows, because Im too self conscious to enjoy my song at this point, but not enough that I'm willing to turn the station. So then we get going and i put the windows down (cause its hot) and then I pull up to another light five minutes later and up they go again. Sounds wussy, but if you are willing to listen to Im Forever Yours (Faithfully...) in traffic, you are a braver person than me. I will say however, that I kept them down for Straight Up Now Tell Me.

"So, the other day, I was thinking about how I should like history, but.. I still don't."-my sister

In recap...

So Michael Moore came and spoke at my school on Monday. It got way too intense, so it took me this long to come up with what I was going to write. On one hand, I think that he is a bit defensive. Because really, if you make movies about controversial subjects, you should be prepared to deal with lots of dissenting opinions. On the other hand, I feel like younger people who admire him think of him as this like, god or something. They think that he has all the answers. Like this kid that raises his hand and asks him "so how are we going to get out of Iraq?" and he's like "I don't know, I didn't think that we should have gone in the first place" and the kid is like "yeah, but now that we're there, how do we get out without it being taken over by warlords and stuff" and he's like "seriously, I don't know" and they got mad at him. Seriously people, he's not your elected official who's job is to come up with policies- he's a filmmaker who just so happens to expose government lie type stuff. I don't think that just because you say "our government is wrong" that you should have to say "and here's how I plan to fix it" Isn't it enough to show that something's wrong? Isn't that kind of like the first step to changing it? Anyways- so I have this thing where I get really really nervous for people. Like, if someone stands up and asks a dumb question, I get nervous for them like it was me that was doing it. There were several points where I almost had to leave because I was so nervous and embarrassed. One of the girls had been arrested for protesting at the RNC and she stood up and asked him if he would pay the legal costs for the 12 people who had been arrested from the school. Um... No. This is what I'm talking about- they're like "oh, Michael Moore, he hates the Republicans, he'll help us fight injustice by paying for our legal fees" Seriously people, he's not your liberal sugar daddy, it's not going to happen.

Things My Apartment Is Currently Hotter Than

*Cement that's so hot you could fry an egg on it
*Cancun, Me-hee-co
*My last apartment
*A hot tin roof that a cat is on
*Hell
*The room that Nelly is in that's so hot he wants to take all his clothes off
*The "Firehouse" sandwich composed of jalapenos, tabasco, and garlic that I, like an idiot, ordered
*James Brown's hottub

Hey, curious what I don't want to do? READ THIS BIG DUMB BOOK FOR TOMORROW!! I have to read this memoir buy this guy who, pardon me for saying so, didn't really have the most captivating of lives. It supposed to be read by tomorrow, with a 300 word essay to accompany it. I'm on page 5. It's 388 pages long. It's 11 p.m.
Hey, I was in Brooklyn tonight at McSweeneys. Want to know what driving on the major highways around here reminds me of? MarioCart. It's like, "wow, I'm going really fast. Hope I don't crash... certainly are a lot of turns... lots of fast cars..."
Yeah. Gotta go read.

My new Times Square friends.

Seriously, this place has multiple personalities. This morning, I'm on my way to school, I get out to my car at 9:05. There is no parking on my street from 9am to 11am on Tuesdays because it's street cleaner day. So of course, there's already a ticket on my car, because they were probably sitting there waiting at 8:59 so they could nail me cause they're JERKS. And this is no $15 dollar Kalamazoo ticket. $55 freaking dollars for parking on the street for 5 minutes too long! I was so mad. So I get in my car and go to school and I park and then I'm walking into the gym and the parking attendant pulls over to me and he's like "do you have a parking sticker on your car?" and I'm like "yeah". And he's like the nicest guy in the world. He's like "oh, how is the parking here? do you ever have any problems finding a spot? what about at night? is the lot lit well enough? well, if you ever have any problems, you come and tell us and we'll take care of it for you." Um... what? Do you remember the WMU parking nazis? what the heck is this guy doing being nice? OKAY, WHATS UP WITH YOU, YONKERS? ARE YOU MEAN AND SPITEFUL OR ARE YOU NICE AND HELPFUL? WHY DONT YOU MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND?? SERIOUSLY YONKERS, DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME? GET YOUR DUKES UP.I started my new job today, and I was making file folders for all the new students. I did like 400 folders and I messed up on like 10 of them, so I just put them in the bottom of the box. So when I was getting ready to leave my boss is kind of looking at the folders. Is ten folders out of 400 a lot to waste? can you fire someone for accidently wasting folders? cause, i thought it would be better to start over than to cross off the mistake and write over it. That looks kind of unprofessional, right? Seriously, for the next two days I'll be convinced that I'm going to get fired for this.

Hippie State University

So, I go to a hippie school. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but at the same time it's completely hilarious. You know how you would always see all the people in Abercrombie at Western, especially the freshman? No. Skirts. Long flowy skirts. Lots of layered clothes and non-matching clothes. Head scarves galore. Lots of anti-Bush tee shirts.
But this isn't even the half of it. The undergrads have no majors. They're supposed to have a well-rounded education, so there are no majors, you're supposed to touch on a little of everything. Also, no grades. Nope. Just evaluations that the teachers write out for each student (which they can do because there is a max of 15 students to a class and 2 classes to a professor). And lastly, I was helping run registration for undergrads this week (when I say 'helping', i mean 'desperate for money and working') A bunch of them came in late and they're like "I didnt get to register because I got arrested" Yeah, like a huge group of them got arrested for protesting at the Republican National Convention.

Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to suggest that everyone get Netflix. It's awesome. $22 a month, you get as many movies as you want, up to three at a time. So I order them, it takes one day to get here, I watch them, I send them back (which takes one day), and they send me the next three that are in my 'queue'. It's awesome. And postage is paid both ways. Get it. Or else.

Did laundry today. Big fun.

Updates.
Here are some new pictures so my mom can see how the cool curtains she made me look in our apartment.
Also, go back to the "Flea Market Post" for a new picture.

Go Here. Laugh while you are there.

www.hamsterman.com

Ha.
Read Me

joseph.

you think I can just update on a whim? I'm an artist, damnit! I update when I have a stroke of brilliance only. Which is why I havent updated lately.. just kiddin, im just lazy, i'll get on it

In other news, you know how in classes there will always be at least one 'older' student who feels the need to raise their hand ALL the time and blah on for hours? My sister has decided that next time that happens she's going to knaw their arm off and be like "sorry buddy, but you've been using it a bit too much."

Yonkers Flea Market

Oh, what to say about the flea market? How about this- If I was robbed while living in Yonkers, I think the first place I would go is to the Yonkers Flea Market, and I think I would be able to reclaim my stolen goods there.

Rob and I both bought hats for $1 each.



(Yes I'm looking sassy, how could you not in such a fine hat?)

You can't see it, but Rob's hat actually says "Marlboro" across the front.
We saw a guy there selling DVD's for $10 each- the movies he was selling- The Village, Suspect Zero, Princess Diaries 2... movies still in the movie theatre. But I'm sure they're not internet download ripoffs, he must just have really good connections:)

So we just went and saw "Garden State". Is this playing at a lot of places? Cause I had never heard of it, I picked it at random. It was so good. And when I say so good, I mean so, so good. Go see it. Now.
In other news, we hung the curtain dividers in our apartment giving us several different "rooms" (ha! yeah right!) Updated "apartment's looking better" pictures to follow. Flea market tomorrow. We've driven by the place its at several times. If things are as they seem, we will actually come home with fleas. Looking forward to it. Do you know how much it is to rent a movie at Blockbuster here? $4.75!

Potpourri
Things are looking up. It is now friday, and I start orientation on monday. The thing is, we're bored. We're sitting in our apartment a lot. But this will all soon come to an end. Tomorrow we are thinking of going to MoMA. Sunday we are going to the Yonkers Flea Market (guaranteed to be full of all kinds of wierd, shady things and will make for an excellent blog later on). Sunday night Im going into Manhattan to hang out with Sara. Orientation on monday for me, with all kinds of grad mixer events going with it, and rob will go and fill out all his paperwork for his new job. And it's about freaking time. I'm ready to start. I've been at the library working on a story all week and it's really starting to come together. This makes me happy. This makes me excited to write. Some days you have to make yourself do it and some days its kind of exciting.
Rob is making spaghetti right now. All afternoon he's been practicing singing lyrics from a Ludacris song, because he's bound and determined to be, and I quote, "a Ludacris impersonator. You know, like Elvis, only Ludacris." I'm sure our neighbors can hear us through the walls and I think they're organizing board meetings about us.
Next week I'm going to a reading at McSweeneys. Partially I'm going because it will be cool. Mostly I'm going because I have a wierd crush on Dave Eggers. Don't tell him.
I got my old school Nintendo to work again. I've been playing Dr. Mario like a mad woman. Jen D., there will be a showdown around Thanksgiving. Speaking of Thanksgiving, what do you guys think about having another Friend Thanksgiving on a much smaller scale. We will be in town Nov 21-26. We'll be w/family for the actual day, but maybe the Sunday before or something?

New York driving- what the fk?

Let me describe to you the phenomenon that is New York driving. Okay, so everyone is in this huge freaking impatient rush. Michigan- You only honk if you’re pretty pissed off, and if you get honked at, you’re really offended. New York- You honk if a bug flies in front of your windshield. I was sitting at a light today, and a guy starts honking before the light even turns green. But the thing is, no one gives a crap if they get honked at. But, this is not my problem. My biggest problem- the New York “pull over and chat it up” complex. Michigan- you see someone you know on the street, you either honk and wave or you pull over and find a parking spot. New York- See someone you know? Oh! Well, just stop your car in the middle of the lane and start a conversation. Can’t find a parking space on the street? Just park it in the middle of the lane and go in. Here’s the think I don’t get- NOBODY HONKS!!! They just pull into the next lane (without fail, cutting someone off) and go around them. Hello?? Honk if you have no reason, remain patient and go around when there’s an actual law being broken?? I don’t get it.

Pictures of our Apartment!! (ignore the lack of wall decoration, we haven't gotten that far yet..)

Click here to check out my new picture page.

Truckers, You Know You're Not Right...

So, I'm driving today. And I'm stopped at a stop light, and there's this semi next to me and he keeps inching forward a few inches and then hitting his breaks, two or three times. So, I'm thinking, what, is he trying to tell me that I'm not pulled up far enough? So I look up at him. Oh no, he's doing nothing of the sort. He's moving forward and craning his head so he can look in my car and he has this disgusting "im a dirty, dirty man" smile on his face. LISTEN UP TRUCKERS. AT NO PLACE ON YOUR OPERATOR'S LICENSE DOES IT SAY 'PERMITTED TO BE TOTALLY DISGUSTING'. I realize that you don't see other people for long periods of time. This does not mean that you have the go ahead for the oggoling of people driving beside you. Seriously.

Here I am, at the friendly neighborhood Yonkers Public Library. I'm tired of putting things away in the apartment. Doing anything adventurous seems like a lot of work. Last night I was going to rent a movie but then I realized that I would lose my parking place (which are few and far between) and decided not to. And I am broke, my friends. Oh there are a million things to do around here. And they all require some sort of money. For another two weeks or so, money is not something I have. I found some outlet malls and was planning on going to them today, when I realized that window shopping at an outlet mall would be a bittersweet experience. I just want to start school and get things going, because this whole "entertaining yourself in a thrifty way" thing is not working out for me. We could go into the city, but we did that yesterday, and by the time you drive into Manhattan, find a parking place, find a subway station, get to where you're going and get back to your car, its pretty exhausting. On tuesday we will have not only internet but also cable, but until then... I will be at the public library.
P.S. Jon- I got the invite for the 3 pimps site, but when I clicked it, it didnt work.. hmm....

Quick, Quick!
Quick (as the name may suggest) update. Rob got a sub job, we got an apartment. More importantly, we all ordered dessert after our dinner at a south african restaurant. I had cake, Sara had a strawberry tart. Rob saw what looked to be a chocolate turnover and ordered that. He took a bite and it turns out it was two hotdogs in a pastry. We laughed our butts off. Well, rob didn't, but...:)

Like Axel Rose said, "all we need (and the only thing we don't have) is just a little patience".

That song reminds me of Paul O'Brien from Ireland- my and lily's rooms were right next to his when we lived in the house and he had this tape single of Guns n' Roses with "Paradise City", "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Patience" on it, and he would listen to it over and over and sing along to it.
So here we are. In Kalamazoo. Still. Yes, we were supposed to be in New York by now. By yesterday, actually. But we still dont even know if we have the apartment yet. We're just.. waiting. Waiting is not something that I do well. So I've been learning to pass the time with the following activities while waiting to get the phone call/email-
-going to Target and buying underwear
-watching Sex and the City. A lot of it. I'm starting season five now.
-whining
-going to the gym- I know that im about to have a breakdown, because usually I can talk myself out of going to the gym. But for the past few days my thought has been "well, what am I going to do instead, sit around here and wait for a call?" and the thought is actually depressing enough to get me off my ass and out the door.
-eating spaghetti. We haven't bought groceries in a long time because who the hell buys groceries right before they move? So we're trying to use what we have. Which is spaghetti. It's thursday and we've already had it twice this week.
-avoiding calling people. I am actually avoiding returning phone calls because I know that said person will ask me about the apartment and I think I might eventually have a meltdown if I continue to explain this retarded situation.
-watching television shows that make rob want to kill himself. Such as- The Ashlee Simpson Show, Last Comic Standing, Big Brother Season Bagillion. Strictly the best.
There's a good chance that by the next time I post I will have taken up a fun new hobby, like macromae, donating blood platelates, sedating myself. Something to pass the time...

"You Always Resort To Dinosaurs."
 
This is my favorite quote of the week, you can come up with so many stories about how that sentence would come about.  Here's how it really came about.  Rob asked me how much a friend of mine makes a year (wage-wise) and I told him, and then he says "Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to pry or anything."  This of course quickly escalated into nonsense.
me- "whatever, Richard PRYor."
rob- "Pryvate detective"
me- "I'm bringing you in on Pryor charges"
rob- "Lead actor in The Prying Game"
me- "Kentucky Pryed Chicken"
rob- "little white pry"
me- "Pryrannasauras Rex"
rob- "whatever, you always resort to dinosaurs."
Yup, telling you all this story in case you were curious how we were sitting around wasting our lives lately...

Rob and the I'm Mad At You Shirt

That would be a good children's book title, dont you think? So last night, we came home from the bar and I was kind of irritated with Rob because the night before we had this big conversation about how we should save money since we don't have a whole lot coming in right now and we're both going to be without jobs for the whole month of August. So then we go to the bar and Rob has FOUR freaking beers. To me, if you're trying to save money, have two beers and call it good. So anyhow, we go upstairs and I got on the computer and then I go into our room and Rob is wearing this ugly tanktop that I hate. As a brief digression, I don't think that ANY guy looks good in ANY type of tank top shirt, and Rob is well aware of this. He says "this is my "I'm Mad At You" shirt. Any time that I'm wearing this shirt you'll know that I'm mad at you." He then went on to explain that he wasn't taking the shirt off until I apologized. It was hilarious. All day he's been threatening to put the shirt back on. Cringe.

Where my girls at...

Pardon the corny title, I couldn't help myself. I MISS MY GIRL FRIENDS!! Here is what has happened in the past few months to the girls that I used to hang out with- Sara, my lived together for three years ate lots of TCBY watched dumb TV laughed at retarded things and wasted lots of time together friend, has been at camp since May and is moving out to NYC in a week. Erin C., my tuesday night girls night drink Sangria and watch American Idol friend, is living in Knoxville briefly on her way out to South Carolina. Tanya, my drink champagne at Epic friend, moved to Washington. Kenna has, in the three months since I saw her at my wedding, gotten engaged, married and moved to Florida. Jenn, though she hasn't lived in the same town as me for five years now, has moved out to Long Island. Jess is hanging out in D.C. doing Law School. I love to hang out with Jen D., but with different schedules and all we dont see each other more than once or twice a week, and that's with the boys around. I miss hanging out with girls! I miss talking about nothing in particular! I miss c0mplaining about things. Guys - Don't take offense to that, you know that I love you, but every one needs same gender friends. I'm wondering if my recent lack of girl friends has something to do with my sudden infatuation with Sex and the City. I never had an interest in the show until the girls I work with started talking about it. Now I'm almost through the third season. I love it! I want to meet friends for lunch in Manhattan and talk about bad sex and careers and men dressed as sandwiches making sexually explicit remarks when you walk by! I'm that girl now. Do you think that Sex and the City was kind of tailored so that everyone woman could kind of identify with one of the characters? I mean, not to say that every woman fits in one of those four catergories, but I think every one can find something they identify with in one of them. I love Miranda. I thought that I would like Carrie at first, seeing as she is a writer and all, but Miranda has this smart ass sarcastic humor that I love. I hate Charlotte. Please, no one see themselves in Charlotte, okay?

Shady, my friends, shady.
So I'm reading Newsweek last night waiting for a table to leave the restaurant- do you know where 50% of the funds for Nader's campaign is coming from? The Republican party. And now that I'm saying it, I'm thinking to myself, well of course, Republicans prop up Nader and try to take votes away from the Democrats, why didn't I think of that? I will tell you why I didn't think of that- because I am not evil and scheming. What the hell ever happened to two opponents giving their speeches and the best man wins? I for one, would not want to win something knowing that I didnt actually win, that I turned things around in my favor. Have you been approached by anyone asking you to sign a petition to put Nader on the ballot? According to Newsweek, these are also Republicans. Okay, giving money to another campaign to hurt your opponent, that's shady, but whatever. But actually posing as someone for Nader to get him on the ballot and tricking people interested in Nader into signing these petitions? YOU ARE FLAT OUT MISREPRESENTING YOURSELF!! I realize that a much stronger word is in order here, but all I can think of is RUDE!! Seriously, how can we put a party into office (or keep them there, rather) that has such underhanded tactics?!?! When you see something like that is it so hard to believe that weapons of mass destruction never existed? Grrr. I am becoming all political lately. The thing is, I'm not really political, I just REALLY REALLY don't like Bush.
Anyhow, onto other things- My apartment is in ruins. I started trying to pack things up, but really I'm just making one gigantic mess. The thing is, half of this stuff is going into a garage sale, but the garage sale is in Davison, so I can't do anything with it until I go home to Davison.
WHEN ARE WE GOING TO FIND OUT IF WE GOT THE APARTMENT OR NOT!??? I'll be packing up a box and feeling like I'm getting something done when all the sudden I'll think to myself "you know, we dont even for sure have an apartment to move all of this INTO right now.." and its like all of my work is useless...
And lastly but not leastly- Happy 22nd Birthday Jennifer D.!

Hmm.
So I'm listening to the light rock station today and that "havin' a party" song by Rod Stewart comes on. The lyrics, I noticed, are as follows
We're havin a party/dancing to the music/played by the DJ/on the radio/ Cokes are in the ice box/popcorn's on the table/
and im thinking to myself, Wow Rod, that sounds like a blast I'll be right over. Not that Im trying to say that you have to have alcohol to have fun but.. that sounds like Square's Night Out. Yes, I just said 'squares'. Im just that cool.

Disappointed.
Today I rented a movie that was supposed to be really good- it was called 'Elephant' and it was a Gus Van Sant movie. I really like Gus Van Sant. I cannot bring enough thanks to the man who brought Good Will Hunting into existance. What I may have learned though, is that I like Gus Van Sant the director, not the writer. The movie was basically about Columbine without actually saying it was about Columbine. The idea was show the daily life of several students leading up to the shooting. I have never seen a movie so devoid of emotion in my life. The characters said nothing that set them apart from any other stock high school character. While I realize that the idea was to show 'ordinary' students, the problem is that to get an audience involved in a character they have to feel some emotion for that character, whether it be love or hate. If you have a character who's entire conversation consists of "hey, whats up" "nothing, how about you?" "nothing, taking some pictures" "cool, see you man" and then he gets shot, its sad, but you're just not feeling it because you dont feel like that character is real. Even the shooters were apathetic, you just couldnt see their anger. I have a hard time believing that someone would shoot numerous people without having a serious amount of anger. Apathy breeds inactivity and a lack of caring about those around you, but I dont see it fueling a mass murder involving a plan that requires a serious amount of forethought. On a positive note, I thought that he did some really cool perspective things with it- Following a character and then going back to a moment that he/she interacted with another character and switching over and following a different person. Overall though, not what I was hoping. It's okay though Gus, I still love you for Good Will Hunting.

Funniest thing I've heard lately

Rob and I were driving home and there was this girl getting out of her car across the street from our house. She had that hair where it kind of flips up and its shorter, but hers seemed to be all gathered, so the flip came to a point. Rob shakes his head as if it's really too bad and says "she's got Anime-head."

Woes of the Recently UnInsured

So for grad school I have to have the traditional school physical done as well as a Measles/Mumps/Rubella vaccination. Up until May of this year, I had health insurance. So let me give you the heads up. Do you know how much a physical costs w/o insurance? First, lets recap on what a physical entails. Check the blood pressure, check the heart and breathing, check the reflexes, check the ears/nose/mouth, ask if there are any problems, sign a form. This five to ten minute procedure will run you a whopping $150. I'll leave it at that. No snide comments or bitter words, I think it speaks for itself.
Speaking of snide and bitter, there's a fair chance that those two words describe a lot of my posts lately, so I will try to put a little cheer into this post. I greatly enjoyed myself last night- rob and I went out for drinks with jen and ryan and had a great time talking and drinking a bit much (well, I did anyhow). I am excited about going to Blissfest next weekend. I mean really excited. I dont feel like I've been really excited about something in a while. I've been "excited but stressed" and "excited but to busy to think about it". I am just "excited really looking forward to this, think its going to be a fun vacation" excited. Its fourth of july weekend this weekend. Nothing at all planned.
Went to New York with my mom on Monday to look for apartments- we got a cute little studio apartment the size of a shoebox. I love it. Lots of windows, lots of light, bigger bathroom, bigger kitchen, HARDWOOD FLOORS, in a pretty good neighborhood, size of a shoebox. The only downside is that it's a co-op and they want all of this stuff with our application- last two years of tax returns and W-2's, 2 letters of rec for each person, a landlord letter, credit check, last two pay stubs, blood sample, CAT Scan, eye of newt, hair of a unicorn, our first born child. But I think it's worth it. Now, if one of my classes asks me to make a shoebox diarama of my house I can do it to scale.
Got to go to work.

Screw you, Carnie Wilson!

As I was driving home last night from the bar, I was a little depressed. The thing is, I'm only 23 frickin years old and it kind of feels like my whole life is flying by me. I wake up around 9ish in the morning- not too bad- and by the time I get up, eat, go work out, take a shower, have lunch and write for a little while, its time to go to work. Everyday this is what I do. And then a month passes and I go, what the hell, where did that go? And it's summer for God's sake, I should be out doing fun enjoyable things. The other day the waitress at a restaurant said "why aren't you out beach bumming" and I'm like, ha! yeah right, cause I have time for that. And I know I'm not the only one, everyone I know my age is doing the same thing- working like crazy to pay their way through school, grad school, film school or life in general until they either have a degree to get a job doing what they want to do AND make decent money or decide what it is they would like to do. BUT WE'RE FREAKING YOUNG!! doesnt it seem like this is the time when we should be out there doing things that we'll talk about when we're old because right now we have energy and there's a lot of time for possibility in our life because we've got sixty some years left. But we're all out there in grocery stores and restaurants and etc. freaking bored out of our minds ready to scream just trying to make due for the moment. And then, who comes on the radio but Carnie Wilson. Did you know that Wilson Phillips got back together? An unfortunate choice, as they remade "Turn, Turn, Turn" a fantastic song that is sacrilige to remake, but nonetheless. The DJ was talking to her and he's like, we'll, why did you guys break up in the first place? And Carnie's all like "Oh, because I wasn't walking into work everyday and loving what I do. I mean, I just wasn't feeling inspired. And I've always felt that you're vacation should be your vocation. So I just decided I wasnt going to do it anymore." You know what I'd like to say to you, Carnie Wilson? Screw you. You make ample amounts of money singing. Boo Hoo. Do you know how many garbage men there are in this country? do you think they feel inspired to go rid the world of garbage when they wake up? Why I understand what you're saying, that you should really love what you, there are so many people in the world who are just as worthy of a decent job, but dont have the option of quitting their million dollar singing career because they dont feel inspired everyday. Please refrain from coming on the radio in the future, after I have just finished work, and telling me that you took a decade off from singing because your vocation wasn't a vacation. BECAUSE I OFTEN FEEL THAT MY VOCATION IS A VACATION IN HELL.

Sick. Blah.

Eww. I am sick. Like, terribly sick. I puked my guts out last night. Today my ulcer hurts so bad from all of the stomach acid that I am only comfortable if I'm laying down or sitting up ridiculously straight, and even then every half hour or so a sharp pain will stab me directly in the back, causing me to squeeze something very tightly and breathe like Im in labor. No, its fun, seriously, come hang out with me, we'll have a blast.

Nothin's New....

I'll try and make this an exceptionally long post, as Rob is waiting to use the computer with the whining, hopping from one foot to the other, sighing impatience of a five year old. tee hee!
Today we did laundry- five loads of it. You know, everyone asks me "is it hard getting used to living with one another?" and Im like, no, its basically no different. You know what IS hard though? The way Rob folds clothes. I hate the way Rob folds clothes. To the point that I want to take the clothes of mine that he folded and refold them so I can get some sleep at night. Of course, I cant say or do any of this because that would make me a psycho. But I think of my poor t-shirts, folded with their sleeves together instead of my traditional sleeves folded behind the front, and it gives me a tiny tic.
I also hate Nextel today. My service hasn't even BEGUN with them and they already screwed something up. That something being ORDERING MY PHONES. So, if you're trying to get ahold of me or rob.. good luck with that. You'll have a better chance on Wednesday or Thursday.
Tonight they're showing Finding Nemo outside on the new Arcadia Festival site and we're bringing a blanket and sitting out to watch it.

Thoughts on the so-called "Continental" breakfast and Airport Sightings

Let me tell you how much I paid for breakfast yesterday morning. 6 Euros. That is roughly equivalant to $7.50 right now. So you're thinking, "no big deal, some nice pancakes or an omlette could be worth that" and I would agree with you. The problem however, is that this was the continental breakfast, consisting of a bowl of cereal, toast, juice and coffee. First things first-which part of that breakfast cost the restaurant $7.50? Was it the two slices of white bread? hmm..no, no, i dont think so. The juice? pretty sure no. OH! then it must have been the bowl of Rice Krispies. WHO THE HELL CHARGES THAT MUCH FOR CEREAL AND TOAST!?!? But really, lets get to the heart of my concerns- the title "continental breakfast". Where exactly did that come from? Is it because its the same breakfast no matter what continent you're on? Because I think that its false advertising. To me, the phrase "continental breakfast" makes me think "oh look at me! Im a breakfast as big as a continent!" or "this is the breakfast to keep you full if even if you're traveling across continents." The word "continental", to me, brings to mind a breakfast with a vast array of choices. I'll tell you what it doesnt bring to mind. Cereal and toast. I think that it should be called the "Light Breakfast" or, keeping with the landmass theme, "Alcatraz breakfast" or "really tiny piece of ice that broke off of the polar ice caps" breakfast. For god's sake, in the U.S. I could have gotten a big omelette with toast and fruit AND TIPPED THE WAITRESS for $7.50.
Interesting things spotted in various airports yesterday- A business man, wearing a suit jacket, dress shirt, tie, nice shoes and those dress socks pulled all the way to the top of his calves.. with pale yellow shorts. Hmm.
The mullet to end all mullets- All short in the front and on the sides.. and a mullet all the way down to his butt. You rock on, mullet man! dont you listen to anything anyone else says about it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROBERT JA-AMES
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU.
love you:)

Hello Hello Hello!

Well, I had planned on updating at some point while I was here, but now its the last day and Im just getting to it.. oh well, here it is nonetheless...
What I have learned from the last 10 days is that my map-reading skills are shit. Seriously, no matter what, I read the mad, I think I'm going the right way.. and without fail I am going the complete opposite way that I want to go. The busdrivers are so nice to me here because they feel so sorry for me. It is 1:26 in the p.m. here, which means it took me just shy of 2 hours to find my hotel. Im an Eiget. On a positive note, I visited the Guinness Brewery today. It was incredible. I dont even like beer and it was incredible. And really, it could have been pretty boring, if you think about it, its basically an explanation on how their beer is made. But they made it so inventive and interesting. I would say it was now one of my top 3 favorite places in Ireland. And I bought some cool stuff there.
So a short trip itinerary-
Spent thursday night in Dublin- Lily and I stayed in this awesome room where two entire walls were windows overlooking the city- while this was cool for one night, it was slightly out of our price range. Also saw St. Stephens Green and more importantly, Harry Potter.
Friday- Went to Pheonix Park to the zoo, where animals dont seem to be caged up. Saw many adorable Irish children in their matching Catholic school uniforms. Saw one boy in particular who was creating a lot of trouble and wore glasses. Loved him instantly and considered stealing him.
Went to Maynooth where we met up with Pat, Paul and Martin and went out to some pubs in Dublin- afterwards ate "kabobs" at Paul's insistance that he could "Just MURRRder a kabob right now"
Saturday- headed down to Kinsale, stopped at the rock of Cashel on the way down. Kinsale turns out to be the cutest seaside town in the world. Went out to the pub again. Drank a lot of wine. Went to a nightclub.
Sunday- visited castles and forts and put our toes in the ocean. Went to the pub, where I drank coke, explaining to the boys that I'm American and my liver cant handle three days of heavy drinking.
Monday- went to Limerick to see Tomas and met his adorable son Dean. Went to a Calligh (okay, thats probably not the right spelling- its "Cay-lee" and its a traditional irish dance/music event)did NOT go to the pub.
Tuesday- went to Galway- saw the Cliffs of Moher on the way. Hung out. Saw a movie.
Wednesday- walked around Galway, bought a claddagh ring, got on a train for Tullamore. I love the train. Finished reading "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown which I recommend for the good story line despite the cheesy writing. Started "White Teeth" by Zadie Smith which I HIGHLY recommend in all ways.
So thats that. Im going to the Dublin Writers Museam now.
JOE PARCELL- I can help you find a cheap place to live in New York (I think...) we have this student webboard for my college that has all these listings- I will write you when I get back if you could still use a hand...
I will see you all soon.

Sneak Preview
There is much to say about this weekend- about why I slept on a sopping wet sleeping bag, why I learned that Amelia of aviation fame's last name is actually spelled Earhart and not Airhart, and why we were confronted by the DNR after a bitter old man stomped away to tell on us. But I will discuss this at another time, when I dont have laundry to do, photocopies to make, groceries to buy, and suitcases to pack. But I will post my favorite quote for now...
"Hmm.. I wonder who liked S'mores more, Lewis or Clark." - Axel Anderson, contemplating life while making S'mores.

Life=Good
Things are looking up after my long, mind numbing winter in dual job hell. Tonight, I will work for the last time this week. Oh yes, thats right! I dont have to work on a Saturday! Tomorrow, after going to kickboxing in the morning (envisioning high school kids heads as the target of my fists of fury) (oh yeah, thats right, I said fists of fury)I'm going to drive to Lansing and meet up with la familia and see the wedding pictures. Then I'm going to drive back here, pack up the car, pack rob into the car and go to the campsite. There, I will spend my weekend laying on the beach, laying in my hammock, playing poker and having a cookout. Then I'll come home monday, go to work(s)on tuesday, pack up my crap and I'm off to Ireland for 10 days on wednesday. I'm kind of freaking out about this summer though, I think its going to go by so freaking fast. In the seven weeks between getting back from my trip and moving to NYC, Im going to (1) fly out to New York and pick out an apartment (2) hopefully go to BlissFest with Jen and Ryan (3) hopefully go on a real quick hiking trip (4) make a couple trips home for various things (5) work five days a week (6)work like hell on my writing. It seems like there is SOOOO much stuff to arrange before I move-
On another page-
Im thinking about becoming and ex-patriate. I had this table last night with this gay couple who come in all the time and I love, and the guy is like "we're trying to figure out where we could move to.. its kind of a scary time to live in this country.." and Im like, you know, you're totally right. We are 5 months away from electing this man who scares the hell out of me to another 4 years. They're talking about starting a draft back up to fight a war that I dont even believe in and happen to feel is based completely on lies. The country is completely ruining the environment with all of these "new laws" which actually allow more pollution. From reading "Daily Reason to dispatch Bush" on www.mcsweeneys.net, I've found out that Bush has tried to appoint men who support segregation and oppose homosexual rights to high offices. I think that the fear from the 9/11 attacks has begun a national pride that in most cases would be good, but is being manipulated and used to talk people into giving up rights for supposed "security" and supporting someone who doesnt deserve the support, but fuels the fear. So, where do you think I should go? Prague is nice. Id miss my family, I couldnt really move anywhere. GOOD GOD PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO OUT AND VOTE IN NOVEMBER!!
On a positive note- I have to admit that it's great that I live in a country where I can write a post like this and not fear for my life. That really is the best thing in the world about the U.S.

YET AGAIN- WHERE DO I WORK or WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?
Once again, overheard in my ISS classroom-
student 1: You're going to hell (to student 2)
student 2: I don't believe in hell, Im Jewish
student 1: Yeah, well, then you're going to Hannaukah.

WHERE DO I WORK? or WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?
Overheard in my ISS classroom today: "Yeah, I just got a CD player in my car. My boyfriend just stole it for me last night."

Botox. Shudder.
Last night I had a nightmare about Botox-like substances. My sister and I were at this clinic that had something to do with beauty, but it wasn't like a spa, it was an actual doctor. Maybe a dermatologist. Anyhow, my sister went first and they had this little contraption that looked like a smooth piece of metal with two handles. They put it against her skin and squeezed the handles together and all the sudden this spike of metal an inch and a half long pops out and makes a hole in her head and the lady fills it with "aloe stuff to make the skin smooth and fat to get rid of wrinkles." So when it's my turn I tell the lady that she can do everything else, but theres no way shes putting a hole in my head and filling it. So she's like "OK". So she does everything else and then I get up to go and I'm walking away and she corners me and gets the aloe stuff on toothpicks. And I see it and its wierd and all, but Im thinking, Oh, toothpicks instead of that metal thing, that seems like a pretty good deal. So I proceed to let this woman shove toothpicks covered in aloe stuff and fat into my temples.

COUNTDOWN SAYS: 4 MORE DAYS

4 MORE FREAKING DAYS AND I'M NOT AN ISS TEACHER ANYMORE!! I went on a job interview yesterday, because I was thinking, I have seven weeks between the time I get back from Ireland and moving to New York, so I'm going to need something more than just waitressing at night. It was a secretarial position for Culligan Water. I will not do it, even if I get the job. Why? Because the man that would be my boss is ON FIRE for water. I mean like, "this is such an important position, Laura. You would be the face and voice of Culligan Water for all the customers that come in here. If we decide you're the right person, we're willing to wait until you get back on June 12th." Now, on one hand, its admirable that this man takes a job that would drive anyone else to suicide and makes it his passion. On the other hand, BUDDY,ITS JUST WATER! I could not wake up every day, even just for seven weeks, and pump myself up to go sell water. If people called me on the phone and said "my water was supposed to be here hours ago, where is it!?" I would not say "oh GOD! IM SO SORRY!" I would say "hey lady, I dont know if you know or not, but you're getting upset about WATER. Do you have a faucet? good, I think you'll live until the delivery gets there.." Also, I've noticed as of late that my ability to kiss ass is diminishing. People get upset about stupid s@#t, and normally I would, you know, try to make them feel better. Now I just kind of look at them funny.
In other news, I have a flower on my desk at work that the janitor gave me, probably three months ago (that's a whole other story..) At first it died. Then it molded. Did I throw it out then? No. Now, I've just noticed, its so far gone that even the mold has died and given up. The miracle of science and patience.
In other other news... CAMPING TRIP ALL WEEKEND. I love camping. Plus, we have about 10 people coming out to the site to hang out and stay. I have a bad feeling we may be kicked out of the park when we have 10 people sleeping in our 4 person site. Oh well, what can you do?

I know, I know, I dont post for six months at a time and then all the sudden Im doing several posts a day. But I just have to tell you about something thats been bothering me... Do you assign everything a personality the way that I do? It's not even a conscious thing, but to me the number 8 seems like a nice person. Maybe its because it has the smooth curves. Because, while 7 is my lucky number, to me it has a sneaky personality. Maybe the harsh edges?? But really, I mainly do it with cars and pop. For instance, Jessica Stoltz's car- to me, is an old woman who wears big hats. I think its because the back end is so long, it kind of reminds me of someone with a big butt. Rob's car is a 40 year old accountant. Doesn't it just kind of look small and modest? Jen's car is a cocky teenager. With pop, I feel like the different companies are families- example-
Pepsi-
pepsi is the dad, diet pepsi is the mom, dr. pepper is the uncle everyone loves but no one really sees very often, sierra mist is like the kid brother, and mountain dew is the rebellious teenager.
DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK LIKE THIS????

Depressing when you write a huge post and it somehow gets messed up and lost. Luckily, I have nothing but time at work to write a whole new one. The most incredibly exciting news of my life is that Lily bought a ticket yesterday and will now be coming to Ireland with me. The trip is going to be a thousand times better with her, because for some reason we seem to get ourselves into really hilarious situations when we're going together- Im so excited, I cant wait to get on the plane:) In honor of the Laura/Lily Ireland adventure, I will post some highlights from our last time in Ireland together.
* By far my favorite is the Christmas tree story- We're at the pub on campus and we down a few too many Smirnoff Ices. We decide, hey! It's December! we need a Christmas tree! Me, Lily, Tomas and Paul decide to borrow a tree from campus- we go to the rec center, uproot one of the smaller trees and carry it home, dodging behind houses and between windows with a six foot tree. When we get it home, we stick it in a bucket and decorate it with tin foil.
* Thanksgiving is another good story. We decide to make the boys a traditional Thanksgiving meal. We order a turkey weeks ahead of time and when we go to pick it up on Thanksgiving, the butcher says "oh yeah.. we dont have that. How about some roast beef?" We are pissed beyond belief and walk another two miles to the other butcher (a matter of principle, you dont buy from someone who screwed you over!) and buy chickens instead. We make dinner, the boys find it to be disgusting (the candied sweet potatoes, cant blame them..) but are rather polite about it. We also have a guest for Thanksgiving. Jill, a guest of mine from home, has invited some random American she met in Galway to stay with us for a few days IN MY HOUSE. We lock our doors and pray we're not killed in the middle of the night...
This is all for now, partly because as I write these, I realize, you kind of had to be there...
A FEW NOTES!!!!-
Congratulations to Erin Carriere, soon to be Mrs. Erin Armey, as of last week:)
Congratulations to Kenna Dawson, soon to be Mrs. Kenna Kirschner as of last week-ish
Congratulations to Joseph Soushumber Parcell, who's first feature-length film will be debuting at the Little Theatre this weekend- 8/9pm in Kalamazoo- be there.
Congratulations to Tanya Snider who moves all the way to Washington this week:( going to miss you.
Congratulations to Rob-a-roo, who has a gig tonight in Jackson playing all originals...
man, now I just want to congratulate everyone..
Congratulations to Jackie for saying damn the man in a conference she went to this weekend...
Congratulations to Jen D. for teaching her first class, in creative writing no less, this week...
Congratulations to Jessica Sprovtsoff who has just completed her first year of Law School...
Thats all for now...

My day.

Tonight we made pizza on our new pizza stone. The pizza was fantastic and the kitchen is covered in flour. We must have been successful. In other news, I began the huge overwhelming and intimidating project that will be my summer. So before I run off to New York and have every word of every story I've written carefully scrutinized, I have begun the task of building up my 'in progress' writing folder. Basically, I need to get some stories going so that I have work to show in workshops and they need to be well on their way. At the end of the two years I have to have a book-length collection of short stories to earn my MFA. Im thinking mine is going to center around the idea of family- mostly non-traditional. Today, I started a story about a video game maker who falls in love with a migrant worker. Yeah, Im not so sure how that one is going to pan out either, but I have to say that I definately believe no story is wasted- My most successful story to date was the result of a memoir piece that failed horribly.
So today it started. I think one of the reasons that its so difficult to write is that you're almost afraid to put pencil to paper until you feel like you have a really good idea. Its like I'm afraid that I'm going to ruin the concept by starting a story line that may dead-end. Or I'm afraid of starting a story and spending tons of time on it, and then finding out that it didnt work out and now I've wasted all this writing time when I should have been thinking of a new idea. Oh well, that is the writing process to a tee, I should probably get used to it now.
In random and insignificant news, I went for a run today that was wonderful, because instead of running to a spot and then turning around and running back to where I started, I had Rob drop me off at a spot 2.5 miles from our house and I ran back to the house. It was so nice to feel like I was running TO somewhere instead of in a big freaking circle. Rob wants to go to bed now. 'night :)
P.S. Jackie- I wouldnt have signed the damn paper, and I would have stood up and told that guy he was an ignorant piece of... and then you and I could have knocked him off the stage and started a petition that made narrow-mindedness a federal offense and EVERYONE would have signed it. Grrr...

I'M F-ING BLONDE, DAMNIT!!

So today I went to get my hair done- I've been looking forward to this for quite some time now, I was sick of my hair but I was waiting to get it cut until after the wedding. I even went to a nice place, which is rare for me, because I was getting a cut and blonde highlights. The hair gods are laughing at me. First of all, ALL OF MY HAIR HAS BEEN CHOPPED OFF. I asked for it to be an inch above my shoulders. It must be like, 3 inches above my shoulders. Secondly, I asked for blonde HIGHLIGHTS. I swear to you my whole freaking head is blonde. And its not even the same COLOR blonde- the bottom of my head where the dye was in longer is like WHITE and the top is a golden-y color.

So I'm Thinkin..

Really, shouldn't it be called 'conception control' instead of 'birth control'?

I need to call into work and claim a mental health day.

The State of Affairs

Last night, I went to turn on American Idol (i know, i know, blah blah blah, its my guilty pleasure, okay?) and who was on instead but President Bush. Of course, it annoyed the hell out of me and I screamed at my TV "YOURE MAKING ME MISS AMERICAN IDOL!" And then I felt bad. What kind of person would rather watch a ridiculous singing competition than listen to the what the leader of their country has to say about what was going on. And then I stopped feeling bad. If it were Clinton, I would have listened to it. If it was anyone but Bush, I would probably would have listened to it. Its just that I have no faith in the man, I think he's sneaky, I dont think that he's qualified to be president, and I think that there are many things that he has not been truthful about. So yes, this is what it comes down to. I have more interest in weather or not that red-headed kid is going to get kicked off of American Idol than I do in listening to Bush's spin on things. Sue me.

Why I will never EVER have and utilities through SBC Ameritech again

On Sunday, Jon called and said "why is your phone disconnected?". Or maybe he asked Rob, and Rob asked me. Regardless, I was not aware that my phone was not working. Then I thought about it, and my DSL wasn't working, but I hadn't thought anything of that because our DSL seems to be constantly messed up. So yesterday I call SBC to find out what the deal is. Let me give you a little background info first. Im moving out of my apartment in 2 and a half weeks, so I called SBC last Monday to tell them I wanted everything shut off on April 24th. The lady I talked to that time was incredibly nice and even though I was on the phone for a half hour with her, mostly on hold, it was okay because she was making sure that I wouldn't default on my year long contract if I disconnected on April 24th. So she says everything is fine, and I hang up.
Now, back to yesterday. I call the lady, and she says that service was cancelled on March 24th, per customer request. I tell her that, no, it was supposed to be April 24th, the other lady must have made a typo. Do you KNOW what she said to me??? "Well, we disconnected that last wednesday. Why are you just now calling?"
UM, EXCUSE ME??? Oh, you're right, I should have noticed earlier, my fault. What the hell does it matter why Im just now calling? So then, she says to me "Well, I cant just hook the phone back up because you had a year long contract that ended in April, and since it was cut off in March you have to pay an early termination fee." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! DO YOU HEAR WHAT YOURE SAYING??? YOU'RE the one who cut it off!! you made the mistake!! So I freaked out on her, and she has her manager take the fee off. But does it end there? No, of course it doesnt. This whole situation is too asinine to end there. Then, she tells me that she cant hook the phone back up, because in order to start the phone, Ill need to sign another one year contract. Yeah, because thats going to happen. To make a long story short, the problem was fixed freaking 45 minutes later, when I arrived to work unshowered, because it took me that long to explain to the woman that I wouldnt be signing or paying anything and that she would be hooking my service back up. Absolutely, without question, the worst customer service I have ever received. And the phone wont even be back on until tomorrow, and the DSL wont be back for anothe two days. GET REAL.

If your curious what a drunk email from jon might look like...

here is the answer to all of your questions...

Lola. I love you. And you love my hair. Right now you are talking
with a pseudo-german accent, trying to be like a hairstyleist.... you
are not an east-german hair-styleist. I am really really drunk. maybe
you should cut my hair, i am under the assumption that you are not
going to cut my hair. you are instead going to give me the side pony
tail. for fucks sake. side ponytails are a female thing. really. if i
don't have a vagina i really shouldn't have a side ponytail....and now
you are laughing at me... fuck. now you are getting a camera.... and
my girlfriend is saying that i'm cute... i dont' buy it...
unless .,... fuck yoiu... i don't want my picture taken.... fuck. my
picutre was taken. damnit. and people are downstairs smoking. i want
to smoke, but i shouldn't. now i can hear rob... i'm going to go find
out what kind of madness is going on downstairs... buy... or bye....
whatever... oh, my girlfriend is scratching my back... mmmmmmmm....
ohb yeah......


this is jo. jon's a ittle sleepy. e


NO I'M NOT!!!!!

Details for Joe

This post if specifically for Joe. So if youre not Joe than MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. The details of grad school are as follows- I believe I will be attending the MFA program at Sarah Lawrence in the fall. I say believe because while this is my number one choice, I havent gotten the results back from all my schools yet- So far Ive been accepted to Colorado, Pittsburgh and Sarah Lawrence. We would be living on the outskirts of NYC, and its a two year program, so we would move back to Michigan after I finished it. It would be particularly sweet because McSweeneys has an NYC office, and I could attempt to get an internship there while I was at SLC. This is all the info I have for you at this time. The bachelor/bachelorette parties are April 17th- are you coming??
miss ya:) Lola

Sorry, those are old posts, but I wrote them at work, and for some reason they wont publish there...

If you see my head bulging in odd places, it's because my head's about to explode. It. is humanly impossible to have this much to do and get it all done. The problem is this- well, I got into grad school in New York, which is great. But where is Rob going to work? So I got on the NY Dept of Ed today- to be certified he has to take this test- and he has to go to NY to take it. Cool. Also, even if he takes the test, theres no guarantee that he'll find a job, and what is he going to do if he doesnt have a job. Freaking education. Why doesnt the federal govt just have one big teaching requirement, so that way you can go anywhere and teach. So I found this Urban Teaching initiative thing that he could do, but there are all these catches and once again, its not like you can just count on him getting in, because what if he doesnt? Im going to be in school full time, not a whole lot of time for me to work, and if I did, Im a freaking creative writer, what the hell job am I going to get? Oh, and then I say to myself, well Laura, why dont you worry about all of that later, because youre getting MARRIED in six freaking weeks, and I have TONS left to do for that. And while we're on the subject, where am I going to work this summer? and where is rob going to work this summer? and is Lily going to be able to come to Ireland, or am I roaming around there for 10 days by myself? And what if I dont get enough financial aid from SLC, how am I going to pay for my education??? And should we get insurance for the summer? Because I get insurance from SLC, but what if something happens this summer? And somehow I ran out of contacts- am I going to have to pay for those myself? And my glasses are the wrong prescription now- can I get new ones or did I have to do that at the same time I got my contacts? And the front right side of my car looks like its about to fall off. And are we going to be able to go to Martha's Vineyard in August? Or are we going to have to spend all the honeymoon money going back and forth between here and new york, taking tests and looking at apartments for the fall. Dont ask me whats on my mind...

Mystery Solved and "Yes, my foot fits nicely in my mouth, thank you."

First of all, the previous post was actually written yesterday- I was writing on my crappy lap top that I use in the ISS room and the only graphic that popped up was the avocado. Today, one of the teachers was sick, so I'm subbing instead of doing ISS and Im using an actual computer, and VOILA! all my fruit is at the top of the page. Mystery solved. But I thought it was kind of a funny post and decided to post it anyways...

On another note, I had an interview for the ISS position this morning (yes, for the job I already have. Because of some type of union stuff they have to interview me as some kind of formality before actually hiring me. You'll be happy to know that I landed the job I've been working at for a month and a half.) But we did the interview thing (kind of..) and then me and the vice principal were talking about some of the kids that end up in ISS. You know, I dont back down on my statement that a lot of those kids just act like complete jerks. But the truth is, I have no idea what it's like to be in their place. Let's face it, I am a middle class white girl. And while I am proud of, and make a big deal about, the fact that I pay for everything including my college by myself and I have worked since I was 14, the truth is I am priviledged. I always had a nice, warm comfortable house to come home to. My parents are still married. Not only did my parents never do any type of drug, there wasn't even alcohol in my house when I was growing up. I was given a car for my last two years of high school. I have never ever, as far as I can recall, been hit by my parents in any way.
The vice principal was telling me about how she doesnt even suspend some kids because she knows that they'll get the shit beat out of them at home if she does. When I have kids in ISS, without fail, at least one of them has a parent in jail. I dont think I even know anyone who's parents were in jail. And while I dont feel that all of this makes me snobby or uncaring about their lives, nor do I feel that it validates their misbehavior, the truth is I dont know what its like to be in that position.

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

You know, I could be wrong, but I swear my blog used to have more than just an avocado at the top. I swear there was like, an orange or some cherries or something up there too. Maybe, since I haven't been blogging nearly as much, they started to take some of my fruits away. And left me with an avocado, because they know that I dont like avocados. It's like the ultiimate insult from blogger.com. Or maybe it's like a five-star rating. This is the third day in a row that I've written, maybe I will get an orange back.

What the hell am I going to do with my life?

So, the results are slowly coming back from grad schools- of the seven I applied to- I'm on the wait list for the one I really want and I've been denied admission to two. Now the two that I didnt get into, I can honestly say I'm not too upset about- one was the number one program in the country- i wasnt even going to apply to it, but then my professor told me to. The other was a school that kind of specializes in offbeat, experimental writing, which doesnt necessarily fit my writing. Nonetheless, when you say "Next year, Im going to move to wherever I get into grad school" and then you get letters in your mailbox that say "Nope, can't come here", you naturally start to wonder to yourself WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO LIVE?? WHAT IF I DONT GET IN ANYWHERE? Because, I hate to say it, but I dont think I can stay here. I love Kazoo, but I have just been here for too long, and its time to get going. I'm 23 and I still live smack in the middle of one of the largest student areas where everyone is 19/20 and I hear people outside my window at night yelling drunken nonsense and I think to myself YOURE AN IDIOT. But really, they're not. Well, they are, but not in that sense- I mean, I did the same thing the first couple years of college, but now...you know. It's kind of like in kindergarten. I went to this school for kindergarten where we had a pizza party every friday followed by swimming lessons at the country club- There were three levels, and I tested into the advanced swimming class, but my best friend (Megan Bennett) tested into the intermediate. So I said I wanted to stay in intermediate. So I went there, and they were like, learning to float on their backs, and I was all like, come on people, who cant float on their back? and I was all bored and irritated with the people around me because I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN THERE. See what I mean? Does that sound bad? Because what I mean to say is, everyone had to learn to float on their back, and you know, its okay if youre plugging your nose while youre going underwater. But once you've learned to swim without plugging your nose, you need to move to the advanced swimming class, because after a while, you're looking around going WHY ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR NOSE?? IF YOU JUST BREATHE OUT, THE WATER WONT GET IN. And if everyone around you starts to seem wierd, you're probably the one who's in the wrong place.
Four schools left to hear from. Pray for me.

Is it wrong that I hate a lot of the kids in my ISS room as much as I do? The thing is, so many of these kids act like such assholes. I realize also that I just see the bad kids- I subbed last week instead of doing ISS and the kids were really nice. But I seriously worry about the future of the world when I have these kids in my class who just dont give a crap about anyone or anything but themselves. And then you meet their parents and you realize where they got it from.

Several Things....

First, I'd like to start a profile series called "Spotlight On..."
The first Spotlight will be a study of the "number collector"

Number Collector-
What is he DOING with all those numbers??? He's someone I barely know, I would have walked by without saying hello if I had my anti-social way. We worked on some project together, like YEARS ago. We talk for four or five minutes after which I would be more than happy to leave, but inevitably (sp?) there is the "Oh, let me get your number, we should hang out some time" AM I REALLY BITCHY? because all i can think is "you KNOW we arent going to hang out." Maybe its because I'm not the most of gregarious of people, maybe he really does think we should hang out some time. What do I think is really going to happen though? I think I'm going to get drunk dialed some time in the near future and hear "who is this?? you were in my phone" Speaking of which, how many numbers can those phones hold??

In other news- I had a dream last night in which I defended Jen's honor. Rob and I meet up with Jon and we all go to meet up with Jen and Ryan. Just before we get in the apartment though, Jon says "well, you know ryan is seeing someone else, right?" and I'm like "Ryan and Jen broke up?!?!?" and Jon's like "No, Ryan's just seeing another girl too." So we go in and get ready and I'm like "are you ready Jen?" and shes like "Oh, I'm not going Lola" and Ryan's like "Oh, [insert 'other girls' name that i cant remember'] is going to come with us." Then I got really pissed off at the boys and I turned around and said "Well, I hope you guys realize I am NOT being nice to her." Ha. Ive got your back Jen:)

In other other news-
Rob did something cute today. I had this student who was asking how the Cold War started, and for the life of me, I could not remember- so I told him about the Space Race and McCarthyism and the Red Scare and all that- and then Rob came in my room and I'm like "Rob, could you explain to him how the Cold War started?" Well, it turns out that Rob knows everything there is to know about the Cold War and he just went off and explained everything about it. It was hot. Am I a nerd? Im glad I dont have a place where people can post comments. :)

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Turned 22, visited St. Louis and looked out the windows at the top of the Arch, tried on a wedding dress, called the police on my baby brother, rafted down a river drunk, hated Shakespeare with the hate of a thousand angry wildebeasts, wrote a story about sex, took dancing classes with Debbie the fringe-wearing fool

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
If I made resolutions I have no idea what they were- but maybe I accomplished them and I just dont know it because I cant remember what they were...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not close to me, but a friend from high school had a baby

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My stepgrandpa. This was very sad, it was the second husband of my nana, the coolest person in the world. Can you even imagine losing TWO husbands??

5. What countries did you visit?
Just the boring old US this year- I didnt even go to Canada!

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
Maybe a real job? No, thats not true, I dont want a job. An absence of debt? A book deal? A shopping spree in target? No, no. A hammock. All I want in the world is a hammock.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I cant think of a single one. Wow, boring year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I won a creative writing award- i was pretty proud of myself for that. I also had one of my photographs accepted into an art show..

9. What was your biggest failure?
Despite my five month plan, I have failed to pay off my credit card bill.
But hey, if youre going to fail, fail miserably, and that I did.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was in Meijer a month ago and I reached for the Hawaiian Punch Fruit Juicy Orange and stubbed my finger on the metal shelf. it still hurts sometimes.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I have to go with Johanna on this one- I bought a damn good pair of jeans that never EVER make me feel fat when I put them on. Also- A Jack Johnson CD, A green square purse, Valpraiso Sheeps Milk Feta Cheese, and a candle chandelier from Goodwill for $5

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Justin Timberlake's when he hosted Saturday Night Live

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
if only I had the guts to say such things..

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food! have you ever met anyone who loved to eat out so much? BAD!! badbadbadbadbad. Also, to application fees for graduate schools.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
?? Ill have to think this over and reenter it .

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
Ignition Remix- R. Kelly

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?happier, with myself in general
ii. thinner or fatter? thesame, despite the fact that I spend obscene amounts of time at the gym
iii. richer or poorer? maybe a little richer?? but more debt. maybe the same.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
spent more time in the photo lab, drove around more in summer.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
work.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Driving between Kalamazoo and Davison three times during Christmas week.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My sister. who calls me at 7am.

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
Oh, I was already in love.

23. How many one-night stands?
None- but I have one more night here, lets see what I can do. I KID! I KID!

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Will and Grace- and Rich Girls

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Not really- I hated you all last year too. KIDDING!

26. What was the best book you read?
re-reading Catcher in the Rye, I'm reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy right now and Im rather enjoying it. I started East of Eden and it is damn good, though I havent finished it. And I like the Nanny Diaries.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I love Pearl Jam this year.

28. What did you want and get?
lots of stuff

29. What did you want and not get?
a banana holder

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
"Love Actually"

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 22, and I cried and told Rob that no one loved me.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A hammock

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
I would describe it as irritating to my roommate. She is a fashion diva. I wear sweatpants with paint stains on them. If I could care less about clothes, I dont know how.

34. What kept you sane?
Rob speaking in Kermit voice.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I have a middle school crush on Ashton Kutcher. And Colin Firth. And the lead singer of Coldplay, based solely on his lyrics. And Jack Johnson.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
This idiodic (sp?) rep from Portage who thinks that all the colleges that receive state funding should turn in a list of the classes they teach and the government should be able to veto classes they dont think are appropriate. Im still seething. This alone makes me realize why Pink Floyd wrote "brick in the wall"

37. Who did you miss?
Lily, my Irish Boys, Ireland in general, Jessica Sprovtsoff

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Well, I knew them before, but I got to know Jen and Ryan a lot better this year. And now I love them. Love love love love love.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
still thinking...

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"I get by with a little help from my friends..."

What in the world is causing me to, after almost four months of not writing anything, to write two days in a row? *sigh*
This will be a meditation on my anti-socialness. The fact of the matter is, I just dont want to make the effort to talk to people sometimes. OK, most of the time. Doesnt that sound awful?? Now this does not go for people that I am well aquainted with, but thats only because if I dont WANT to talk I dont HAVE to. I would really rather just either sit around and do something by myself or sit around with people I know and discuss inconsequencial (sp?) matters. If you are a small-talk maker I will avoid you like the freaking plague. But it isnt that I dont want to hear other people talk. I have no problem listening to people forever, but I dont want to uphold my end of the conversation, I really just find it to be way to much work sometimes.

WHY OH WHY is the counter girl at TCBY always rude to me? I just dont get it. Ive never said more than "hi" "chocolate in a waffle cone" and "thanks" to her. I walk in and theres no "hi, how are you", not even a "what can I get for you today" You know what she says to me the minute I walk up to the counter? "Do you know what you want?" Rudeness! Am I inherently bitchy and just dont know it? Am I unknowingly rude?

Idiocracy.

I spent all of last night acting like an idiot. No more alcohol for me, as it seems I am incapable of realizing my limits as far as that is concerned. After talking to many many people and calling all of them the wrong names, puking in front of Blockbuster and letting Jon and Garren in on some of the finer points of my love life, I believe that me and alcohol will now have to sever our relationship.

Wednesday Fight Night

You know, I cant help but notice.. you know what the whole Bush speaks/ Saddam speaks thing reminds me of? You know at the beginning of WWF where the two people get up and talk shit about each other before they go fight? It isnt far off... Bush says Saddam is a ruthless dictator, Saddam calls him "evil, little Bush"... DING DING DING!